She wasn’t just expected to heal. She was expected to heal everyone around her too—without flinching, without resting, without breaking.”Why i
She wasn’t just expected to heal. She was expected to heal everyone around her too—without flinching, without resting, without breaking.”
Why is it that when a Black woman begins her healing journey, she’s so often met with another assignment?
Carry him.
Protect them.
Educate them.
Forgive them.
Uplift the very ones who harmed you.
Explain your pain while in pain.
And do it gracefully.”
This is more than unfair. It is a form of spiritual violence.
💔 The Expectation Is Rooted in History—and Harm
1. Because we were never allowed to be seen as individual human beings.
Enslaved Black women were forced to care for white children and families while their own children were sold away.
Even today, Black women are expected to be mothers of movements, healers of men, and pillars of families—no matter how much we’re bleeding inside.
2. Because people are addicted to our labor, even our emotional labor.
Our forgiveness is treated like currency.
Our resilience is treated like an endless resource.
Our boundaries are seen as betrayal.
3. Because too many people view our healing as a threat.
When Black women name pain, people call it anger.
When we create boundaries, they call it division.
When we prioritize our peace, they accuse us of abandoning the community.
“Can you teach us how to heal too?”
“What about these people/those people/that group over there?”
“Why didn’t she just…”
They always ask what more the Black woman could have done.
They rarely ask what others should have done for her.
🖤 But Here’s the Sacred Truth:
You don’t owe anyone your healing.
You don’t have to bring everyone along.
You don’t have to set yourself on fire to light the way for people who never protected you.
Yes, collective healing matters.
Yes, many of us want to see our communities rise.
But your healing is yours.
Your healing gets to center you.
Your healing does not require you to carry those who dropped you.
“You can set the table for yourself and not invite the ones who broke your spirit. Healing is not selfish. It is sacred.”
— SurvivorAffirmations.com
🌺 To Black Women Who Are Healing:
You are not responsible for everyone’s journey.
You are allowed to be soft, messy, and whole on your own terms.
You are more than what you survive.
Let your healing be yours.
Let it be nourishing.
Let it be enough.
