There’s something deeply dangerous about how we’re taught to think about harm—and especially about the people who cause it. We’re told:“If someone wa
There’s something deeply dangerous about how we’re taught to think about harm—
and especially about the people who cause it.
We’re told:
“If someone was really that bad, wouldn’t we know?”
“If they did that to you, why didn’t I ever see it?”
“That doesn’t sound like the person I know.”
But here’s the truth that too many refuse to face:
Predators do not play by the same rules as the rest of us.
They don’t operate on honesty.
They don’t operate on empathy.
They don’t operate on shared community values.
They operate on manipulation, deception, and control.
🎭 People Don’t See the Same Version of Them
You may know the smiling coach.
The friendly neighbor.
The respected leader.
The one who always volunteers.
Survivors often knew someone else entirely.
The version that isolates.
The version that coerces.
The version that harms in silence, but hugs in public.
And when someone finds the courage to reveal that hidden version, the world doesn’t want to see it.
They come for the messenger, instead of the message.
They say it’s “confusing,” “hard to believe,” “out of character.”
But the confusion exists because you were never meant to see the truth. That’s how predators survive. For years. For decades.
🔍 Most People’s Reactions Are Based on Naive Assumptions:
That everyone tells the truth.
That no one would deliberately harm someone they claim to love.
That we’re all playing by the same moral rules.
But predators build lives around bending those rules.
They count on your disbelief.
They count on your loyalty.
They count on Survivors being too afraid to speak—because they already know:
When truth comes out, it’s the Survivor who gets scrutinized.
It’s the Survivor who gets picked apart.
It’s the Survivor who gets punished for speaking.
🚨 We Need to Shift Our Lens
Instead of asking,
“Why didn’t I see it?”
Try:
“What might they have worked hard to hide from me?”
Instead of saying,
“That doesn’t sound like him.”
Try:
“What does it cost her to say this out loud?”
Instead of shutting people down,
Listen deeper. Ask better questions. Protect first. Process later.
🕯️ For the Survivors Who Were Punished for Telling the Truth:
We see you.
You weren’t wrong.
You weren’t too much.
You weren’t imagining things.
You were up against someone who wasn’t even playing the same game.
And while others tried to keep the illusion intact—
you chose the truth.
That’s not weakness. That’s legacy-level courage.
Share if you feel safe and ready—your voice might be the lifeline someone else needs.
And if you do share, remember to cite the messenger. Words carry legacy.
[rosaschildren.com] | [wesurviveabuse.com] | [survivoraffirmations.com]
