When Healing Language Gets Mocked: Gaslighting by Cultural Delegitimization

They asked you to speak. Or, it is time and space designed for speaking. 

To be honest. To open up. To tell your truth.

They asked you to join groups. To heal. To grow.
And when you finally did—when you finally started to name what happened,
to call harm what it was,
to speak your truth without flinching—
they laughed.

They said you were “brainwashed.”
They said, “You sound like a cult.”
They said, “Who even talks like that?”

Suddenly, the very language that was helping you breathe again
became something they used to question your sanity.

This tactic has a name.

It’s called Gaslighting by Cultural Delegitimization.

It’s when people—often from dominant or more accepted groups—mock or dismiss the healing language, rituals, or frameworks that marginalized people use to survive, reclaim power, and make sense of their pain.

You say, “I’m learning to set boundaries.”
They say, “You sound angry and selfish.”

You say, “I’m holding space for my healing.”
They say, “That sounds made-up.”

You say, “This was abuse.”
They say, “You’re exaggerating.”

But brave one, let me say this clearly:

You are not crazy for speaking the language of survival.
You are not wrong for learning words that hold you when the world won’t.
You are not alone for needing language that helps you reclaim your power.

Truth is, the people who benefit from your silence
will always be uncomfortable when you start to name things.

It is not what you are saying. It is the fact that you are speaking.

But here’s what they won’t tell you:

It takes tremendous courage to speak up
when the world has taught you to disappear.
It takes deep wisdom to name what hurt you
and still reach for healing.

So if you’re being mocked for using new words like “boundaries,” “safe space,” “trauma,” or “truth-telling”—
know this:

That isn’t proof you’re wrong.
That’s evidence you’re growing.

And some people fear your growth because it reminds them of what they’ve never faced.

To the Survivor who wonders:

• Am I going too far?

• Am I imagining things?

• Maybe it’s me?

I say to you: No. It’s not just you. And no, you’re not imagining it.
You’re evolving. You’re healing. You’re learning a new language—one that doesn’t revolve around other people’s comfort.

You don’t have to shrink back into silence to make others feel at ease.
You don’t have to trade your healing for their approval.

Stay close to people who understand the words you’re learning.
Who don’t flinch when you say “I deserve safety.”
Who don’t call you selfish when you say “no.”

You deserve spaces where your survival language is understood,
not twisted into evidence against you.

Reflection Question:
Have you ever held back your truth because you feared being labeled dramatic, brainwashed, or “too much”? What would you say to your younger self who needed these words but didn’t have them?

Affirmation:
My healing is valid. My language is sacred. And I am not here to make my pain more palatable for anyone else’s comfort.

✨ Companion Affirmations for Speaking in the Language of Healing

1. I will not shrink to soothe those who chose not to grow.
   My healing journey is not a performance for their approval—it’s a path I walk for my peace.

2. Every word I learn in this season of healing is a key to freedom.
   I am not “brainwashed”—I am breaking chains.

3. Their mockery is not my mirror.
   I reflect truth, courage, and the strength of all who came before me.

4. The language of survival may be foreign to them, but it is home to me.
   I will not apologize for speaking in ways that make me whole.

5. I deserve spaces where I don’t have to explain the language of my wounds.
   I will seek out and build spaces where my voice is met with love, not laughter.