Let’s talk about something that happens all too often—especially to women, especially to Survivors. Someone insults us.Mocks us.Lies about us.Disre
More justice. More peace.
Let’s talk about something that happens all too often—especially to women, especially to Survivors.
Someone insults us.
Mocks us.
Lies about us.
Disrespects our identity, our womanhood, our power, our pain.
And then—days, weeks, or months later—someone else comes along and shares that insult.
Not to call it out.
Not to defend us.
Not to stop the harm.
But to say:
“See? That’s what they think of you. Now come work with me.”
Let me be clear:
You cannot use the language of my enemies and expect my loyalty.
You cannot circulate the bullets aimed at me and then ask me to build your house.
That is not sisterhood.
That is instrumental misogyny—treating a woman’s pain like a tool to get what you want.
💬 Let’s Break It Down for the Younger Sisters:
If you’re a teen or young adult reading this, here’s what’s happening:
Some people will repeat the insults others throw at you—your looks, your choices, your body, your voice—
and then try to get you on their side by saying,
“See how bad they are? You should help me instead.”
But think about it:
If they really respected you, why didn’t they stand up when the insults were flying?
Why did they share it? Laugh at it? Stay silent?
Why do they only reach for you when they want something?
The truth is, they want access to your brilliance, your creativity, your spirit, your aura—
without having to honor your dignity.
But here’s what you must know deep in your bones:
You do have to give loyalty to people who sat silently while you were disrespected.
You do not have to trade your peace just to be seen.
You are allowed to walk away from those who couldn’t speak up when it mattered.
💥 Because Here’s What They Hope You’ll Forget:
That silence is a choice.
That sharing an insult is a form of participation.
That trust is built through action, not just opportunity.
That Survivors have always been expected to set aside our pain to help someone else’s cause.
That many will benefit from our healing without respecting the story that led us there.
But not anymore.
We’ve outgrown those games.
🗣️ Say This With Me:
“If you didn’t defend me when I was disrespected, don’t ask me to build with you.”
“I am not here to be useful to people who were harmful or silent.”
“My healing is not your marketing tool. My scars are not your strategy.”
“I see what you did—and what you didn’t do. And I will respond accordingly.”
We deserve better than publicity parasites.
We deserve more than crumbs of fake inclusion that maintains the same threadbare hierarchy.
We deserve relationships, coalitions, and movements that actually protect, not just promote, pr, and raise money. Repeat.
And to every teen girl, every woman who’s ever been expected to “be the bigger person” in the face of betrayal:
You don’t have to partner with people who watched you get hurt.
You are not confused. You are finally seeing clearly.
Note: The “bigger person” is still a person.
