(Why Black women must speak for ourselves, gatekeep our image, and protect our humanity) Every so often-too often- I see it again:A meme, a tweet, or
(Why Black women must speak for ourselves, gatekeep our image, and protect our humanity)
Every so often-too often- I see it again:
A meme, a tweet, or a post using Michelle Obama’s likeness to say something like:
“This is why we have to support men. Look how they called Michelle a man.”
Let’s pause right there. A conversation about a Black woman being bullied by the worst of us turns into a reason for Black women to labor and toil ….again? Give….more.
Do you know what a post like that really says?
It says that Michelle Obama’s pain—her decades of public service, strength, and grace under fire—is nothing more than a useful example. A pawn in a conversation that isn’t even centered on her.
It says:
“They called her a man, so now we should sympathize for people other than her.”
Not:
“They called her a man, and we need to talk about the pain of Black womanhood being constantly dehumanized.”
That is not “solidarity.”
That is exploitation.
This is the opposite of ‘organizing’. You can’t make people be in solidarity with you. You can only get solidarity when people say “yes” to solidarity. Not only doesn’t this ‘mean girl’ thing work, it isn’t sustainable. Check out history. Eventually people will start a war and overthrow you if they have to. They may lose a lot of battles but oppressed people are pretty motivated to keep trying.
You want support? You have to build it by being a human being and then touching another human being. One person at a time.
Like the rest of us, Michelle Obama is a human being. Michelle Obama isn’t just an image.
She is a Black woman who has been mocked, degraded, and publicly dehumanized in ways that cut straight to the bone of what this country thinks about women who look like her.
And you know what’s even more heartbreaking?
So much of that violence didn’t come just from white supremacy or racists.
It came from inside the house. The Black American house.
Where is the space to ask:
How does she feel? Is she okay?
What does it mean to wake up and know your own people are recycling white supremacist propaganda to make a point about someone else’s struggle? People you worked for.
What does it mean to have your body used as evidence but never as something to protect? By your own people.
There is no honor in being sacrificed to earn someone else sympathy.
Not when your own feelings, your humanness, are erased in the process.
You want to know something wild?
The BeyHive (yes, of course this social media poster is) protects Beyoncé’s image better than most of us protect Michelle Obama.
And why?
Could it be because silky blond hair, honey hued skin, and statuesque Beyoncé is seen as beautiful in a way that white audiences accept and praise.
Meanwhile……Michelle, with her tall stature, dark skin, modest attire, envied Ivy League education and law degree was never seen as dainty by the same audience.
And because she didn’t fit into their narrow aesthetic, they gave themselves permission to destroy her.
And some people gleefully let them.
As for those who ought to know a little better, promoting low racial esteem in an effort to get Black women to take your hand and mule for your suggested causes is an insult back through to every woman in my bloodline. Michelle Obama alone represented you with honor and distinction and this is how you do?
This is why Black women must speak for ourselves.
This is why we must gatekeep our image.
You can’t tell it like I tell it.
This is why we cannot keep linking arms with people who will not protect us in return.
Solidarity without reciprocity is not solidarity—it’s sacrifice.
Black women are not symbols.
We are not metaphors.
We are not stepping stones on the path to someone else’s liberation.
We are human beings.
And if the world refuses to remember that, then we must.
For ourselves.
For each other.
For the girls coming up behind us.
