One of the most persistent, tired myths used to scare women into compliance is the idea that if we follow feminism, womanism, or choose to remain un
One of the most persistent, tired myths used to scare women into compliance is the idea that if we follow feminism, womanism, or choose to remain unmarried, we are doomed to “die alone.” This fear-mongering narrative is nothing more than a control tactic, built on outdated assumptions and deliberate distortions of reality. Let’s dismantle it piece by piece.
1. Women Are Already Outliving Men
Let’s start with the most obvious flaw in this argument: statistically, women tend to outlive men. If marriage were a guarantee of not “dying alone,” then why do so many widowed women continue living long, fulfilling lives after their spouses pass? Life expectancy rates around the world show that women often end up alone regardless of whether they marry or not. The real question is: Are they truly alone, or are they surrounded by friends, chosen family, and communities they’ve nurtured?
2. Marriage Does Not Equal Companionship
A woman can be married and still feel deeply alone. How many stories have we heard of women trapped in loveless marriages, enduring emotional neglect, or even abuse? The assumption that marriage automatically provides lifelong companionship ignores the realities of many married women who feel isolated in their own homes. A ring and a marriage certificate do not guarantee emotional connection or fulfillment.
3. The “Community” Argument Is Flawed
The idea that feminism or womanism somehow isolates women from relationships is a blatant falsehood. In fact, these movements encourage women to cultivate deep, meaningful bonds outside of traditional marriage—friendships, sisterhoods, chosen families, and intergenerational connections that sustain us through all seasons of life. The real danger isn’t independence; it’s the conditioning that tells women they must center their entire existence around a man or else they are nothing.
4. Fear-Mongering as Social Control
The fear of “dying alone” is strategically weaponized against women to keep us in line. It’s a modern version of the old warnings that women who pursued education, careers, or independence would be “unwanted.” The reality? Women are thriving, choosing partnerships on their own terms, and rejecting relationships that drain rather than nourish them.
5. If Men Were Serious About “Saving Marriage,” They Would Address…
We are told that men are problem solvers but…..
Many of the men who peddle the “die alone” narrative claim to care about the institution of marriage. But if they were truly invested in strengthening it, they would focus on fixing the actual issues that drive women away from marriage, including:
✅ Domestic Violence & Abuse – If men want marriage to be appealing, they should work to eliminate the culture of intimate partner violence that makes so many women fear commitment. Instead of blaming feminism, they should hold abusive men accountable and create a world where women feel safe in relationships.
✅ Child Abuse & Neglect – Many women leave marriages—or avoid them altogether—because they fear exposing their children to unsafe, neglectful, or abusive men. If men were serious about marriage, they would advocate for fathers to be emotionally present, protective, and engaged in their children’s lives.
✅ Balance of Work in the Home – Studies consistently show that even in dual-income households, women take on the majority of housework and childcare. If marriage is to remain viable, men must step up and do their fair share at home instead of expecting women to carry the burden of unpaid labor while also working full-time.
✅ Emotional Availability & Maturity – Many women refuse marriage because they don’t want to be with men who are emotionally distant, dismissive, or unwilling to communicate. If men were truly invested in marriage, they would prioritize emotional intelligence, therapy, and healthy relationship skills.
✅ Parental Responsibility – Women often avoid marriage because they see too many single mothers struggling while the fathers of their children walk away unscathed. If marriage were a priority, men would hold each other accountable for showing up, providing, and being active, loving fathers.
✅ Financial Equity & Stability – Instead of shaming women for wanting security, men would address the fact that economic instability—often worsened by gender wage gaps—impacts marriage rates. A stable home life requires financial responsibility from both partners, not just the woman.
✅ Male Peer Accountability – Instead of blaming feminism for the decline of marriage, men would challenge other men to be better partners, stop enabling misogyny, and call out toxic behaviors that make marriage unappealing to women.
6. Fulfillment Comes in Many Forms
A woman’s value is not determined by her marital status. Life is full of love in many forms—friendships, mentorships, community ties, creative passions, and self-discovery. The happiest women are not necessarily those who married but those who built lives of purpose, joy, and connection.
The real question isn’t whether a woman will “die alone.” It’s whether she lived fully, on her own terms, without fear. And that? That is the ultimate win.
