Every Woman Has the Right to Say ‘No Thanks

Since the dawn of time, women have been pushed, scolded, and lectured into bending their boundaries, reshaping their desires, and swallowing discomfort—just to become what every living, breathing man might want.

We’re told that if we aren’t open to this type of man, we’re shallow. If we say no thank you to that behavior, we’re judgmental. If we speak up, we’re divisive.

Some even tell us our preferences are “problematic.” That our discomfort is “rooted in bias” or “internalized something.”

And even if that’s partially true—who cares?
Women, especially Survivors, are allowed to listen to their gut. We are allowed to say: I’m not comfortable with that. When men finally care about sexism, sexual harassment, acquaintance rape, and femicide-the treatment and care women receive in their company; I might entertain thoughts and concerns around women’s dating preferences. Though, not likely. 

We don’t owe anyone access to our hearts, minds, or bodies in the name of being more “open-minded.” Especially when “open-minded” usually means “more accepting of harm.”

Let’s be real:
🧠 A man with curiosity, interests, and a life outside of women is deeply attractive.
📚 A man who doesn’t spend his free time on podcasts complaining about women is refreshing.
💬 A man who doesn’t need to argue women into submission just to feel powerful? Revolutionary.

Stop scolding women for listening to their gut. It’s not growth—it’s gaslighting.

🌿 You do not have to date someone just because he’s available.
🌿 You do not owe anyone access to your mind, body, nurturing, heart, or good loving.
🌿 Discomfort is not a dating strategy. It’s a red flag.

Scolding women into being comfortable with what makes them uncomfortable is not liberation.
It’s just more coercion dressed up in intellectual clothing.

So here’s your reminder: You are allowed to be picky. You are allowed to have dealbreakers. You are allowed to feel how you feel. 

You do not need to twist your spirit into the shape of someone else’s comfort zone.