10 Future Faking Abuse Statements Survivors Should Recognize and Trust Their Gut About

10 Future Faking Abuse Statements

1. “I’m going to get help—just give me a little more time.”
   Used to delay accountability and stop the Survivor from leaving.

2. “Let’s have a baby… that’ll bring us closer together.”
   A way to bind the Survivor more tightly to the abuser through pregnancy or parenting.

3. “Next year, I’ll finally take you on that trip you’ve always wanted.”
   Used to distract from the current abuse and keep the Survivor emotionally invested.

4. “I swear, after this one thing is handled, I’ll stop yelling and getting so angry.”
   Shifts blame to external stressors, instead of taking responsibility for abuse.

5. “I promise I’ll never hit you again. That wasn’t me—I’m changing.”
   Meant to pacify and manipulate after physical violence.

6. “I’ve been looking at houses for us. Just imagine our new life together.”
   Creates false hope for escape and peace without any real follow-through.

7. “I’ll let you go back to school once things calm down.”
   Keeps the Survivor dependent while pretending to support their growth.

8. “We’re going to get married one day—don’t give up on us.”
   Used to delay leaving or questioning the relationship, despite ongoing harm.

9. “Just stay until the holidays are over. I want us to have one more good memory.”
   A guilt-laced stall tactic to extend control and avoid consequences.

10. “I’m planning to start therapy. You’ll see a new me soon.”
    Often repeated without any actual scheduling or commitment—just a hollow promise.

11. “Once this stress passes, I’ll stop lashing out.”

    Shifts blame to circumstances instead of taking ownership.

🛑 Why It’s So Dangerous:

Future faking is not just lying—it’s emotional manipulation that exploits the Survivor’s desire for love, change, and safety. It buys time for the abuser while stealing time from the Survivor’s life, energy, and healing.

🖤 Affirmations for When You Love Them… But They’re Hurting You

1. I can love someone deeply and still choose to protect myself.

2. Love should not ask me to shrink, suffer, or sacrifice my safety.

3. I am allowed to feel love and still walk away.

4. My heart is not broken—my heart is brave for seeing the truth.

5. Missing someone doesn’t mean I belong with them.

6. Even in love, I deserve peace, gentleness, and emotional security.

7. I am not abandoning love—I am honoring myself.

8. The love I give to others, I am now learning to give back to myself.

9. I don’t need to stop loving them to stop accepting harm.

10. My healing begins when I stop confusing pain with devotion.

💬 Gentle Reminder:

You don’t have to stop loving them to start saving yourself.
You just have to stop allowing love to be the reason you stay in pain.

💡 Remember:

Future faking isn’t just dishonesty—it’s deliberate emotional manipulation designed to keep Survivors stuck, hopeful, and controlled.