There’s a kind of watching that doesn’t come from love.A kind of watching that waits for you to stumble—not to catch you,but to collect the footage.
There’s a kind of watching that doesn’t come from love.
A kind of watching that waits for you to stumble—
not to catch you,
but to collect the footage.
It’s called weaponized witnessing.
They don’t help. They don’t ask. They don’t offer softness or shelter.
They just…watch.
And when something breaks—when the job falls through,
when the man you chose doesn’t love you right,
when colorism slices you open in public—
they show up not with compassion, but with commentary.
“See? That’s why you should’ve listened.”
“Girl, you’d have been better off over here.”
“We knew that one was gonna fail.”
And what they never bring?
Care.
Support.
Sisterhood.
Any of the things that women who love with sincerity show up with.
💔 Black Women Know This Well
We are often judged for choosing to believe in someone.
Punished for having hope.
Laughed at for wanting softness, connection, or just a fair shot.
And when that hope gets crushed?
They don’t show up with bandages.
They show up with memes, smirks, and spiteful glee.
And the truth is—yes, men go through pain too.
Yes, some of them are discarded, laughed at, and judged.
But when it happens to women—especially Black women—
the pain is rarely met with planning, reflection, or healing.
It’s met with mockery.
And no one adds, “show compassion” to their to-do list for next time.
No one commits to doing better.
They just sit back and watch the next fall.
🧭 Let’s Tell the Truth
Watching someone’s harm and using it as a billboard for your superiority
is not solidarity.
It’s exploitation with a smug grin.
If you’re not going to help someone stand,
don’t crowd around them when they fall.
If all you can offer after someone’s pain is a punchline,
you were never a witness—you were a wolf in the choir.
🧱 For Those Who’ve Been Watched but Not Caught
If you’ve lived through this—
if your heartbreak was someone else’s proof point—
if your pain was someone’s entertainment:
You are not foolish.
You are not weak.
You are human.
And the fact that you still love, hope, try, and dream?
That’s not naiveté.
That’s strength in its most dangerous and divine form.
Because real women don’t rise to impress spectators.
We rise because healing is holy.
And because we are not anyone’s gotcha moment.
🖤 Affirmations for When You’ve Been Watched But Not Caught
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My fall was not a failure—it was a lesson. And I do not owe my healing to spectators.
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I will not carry shame for what others chose to mock instead of mend.
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The ones who laughed at my pain were never worthy of my trust. I walk forward without them.
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My story is not for snickering—it is sacred. And I protect it with fierce love.
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When others watched me struggle, I still rose. That rise is mine. That power is mine.
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I release the need to explain my decisions to those who only show up with judgment, not care.
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I do not perform my pain. I live truth. And from that truth, I rebuild—with real ones only.
- This is real life, not a stage. I am not a performance—I am a whole, living, feeling human being. And I deserve to be met with care, not critique.
- I was not born to be watched like a scene, judged like a script, or applauded only when I’m pleasing. I am breath, soul, spirit—unfolding in truth.
