At We Survive Abuse, we talk a lot about truth, survival, and the power of reclaiming your story. But what if I told you that even the stories we watc
At We Survive Abuse, we talk a lot about truth, survival, and the power of reclaiming your story. But what if I told you that even the stories we watchâon screens big and smallâare quietly shaping how we see ourselves as women and Survivors?
Letâs talk about narrative control. Not just in the obvious senseâlike who gets to speak, who gets justice, who gets loveâbut in the sneaky, behind-the-scenes way it happens.
Youâve probably heard how Apple wonât let villains in movies use iPhones. Sounds silly, right? But itâs real. Itâs called product placement control. Brands donât just pay to have their stuff in moviesâthey demand control over how, when, and by whom itâs used. No bad guys. No illegal behavior. No mess.
Now take that same idea, and look at how women are portrayed in media.
Weâre often shown as caregivers, never the center.
Weâre rarely allowed to be angry without punishment.
Our beauty is staged. Our strength must be soft. Our pain is stylized.
If we survive something traumatic, we are often either pitied… or erased.
This isnât just storytellingâitâs social programming.
đ§ What Messages We Absorb Without Thinking
Weâre not just watching charactersâwe’re learning:
What âgoodâ or âbeautifulâ looks like
Who gets to be smart or powerful
Who gets punished for being âtoo loud,â âtoo angry,â âtoo sexual,â or âtoo ambitiousâ
đș Who Women Get to Be on Screen
Women are more likely to be shown as love interests, caregivers, assistants, or victims.
Strong, complex female characters often come with rules: they must still be âlikable,â attractive, or emotionally available to others.
đ§ Like Brands, Female Characters Are Managed
Female heroes may still wear makeup while fighting aliensâbecause of âbeauty expectationsâ (Think about that when you see/hear misogynists bully female human beings about not appearing a certain way and therefore not being “real women”.)
Older women are often erased or minimizedâunless they fit the âwise grandmaâ or âelegant ladyâ mold (Which is why some people run through the fields thinking older women are unwanted. đ . You fell for that?!)
đ„ The Impact?
Over time, these subtle messages add up. They teach us what women should be, how they should look, what they should want, and how they should behaveâeven when it doesnât match real life.
The same way companies protect their brand image in a movie, society protects its comfort by deciding what kind of women get to be âgood,â âredeemable,â or âdeserving of peace.â
Too loud? Too independent? Too dark? Too old? Too scarred? Too angry?
You get moved to the margins. Sometimes, completely offscreen.
Daily. Women and girls are persuaded, coaxed, pushed, and forced to get into someone’s box.
Thatâs narrative control. And itâs everywhere.
But hereâs the truth they canât hide:We are the main characters.
Weâve lived through plot twists that would break most people.
We are not weak because weâre healing.
We are not shameful because weâve survived.
We are not broken because we refuse to shrink.
At We Survive Abuse, we see through the illusions. We teach girls and womenâand all Survivorsâhow to read between the lines, to unlearn the lies, and to reclaim the pen.
Because the most powerful story ever told about a Survivor⊠will be the one she tells herself.
đ€ âI donât owe softness to the systems that crushed me. My healing can be thunder.â
đïž âLet them watch. Iâm not hiding the fire I built from my own ashes.â
đ§Ź âI am the one my bloodline prayed for. The cycle ends with me because I said so.â