The Divorce Was Inevitable: We Never Chose This Marriage

No one asked women anything. People just kept telling women how they "ought to" and "must" feel.-TGJP This is a very scary time for some women.Bec

No one asked women anything.

People just kept telling women how they “ought to” and “must” feel.-TGJP

This is a very scary time for some women.
Because it’s not just the threat of being erased—it’s the gaslighting that comes with it.

Women are told we must redefine ourselves for someone else’s comfort.
Women are told that our boundaries are bigotry.
Women are told that our pain is not real unless a man agrees with it.
Women are told that our truth must be approved before it can be spoken.

Women are told to submit—and call it progress.

The truth is:
This was never a union we chose.
This wasn’t a relationship forged in shared experience, safety, or solidarity.
This was an arranged marriage—
Forced by institutions, platforms, and policies that told women:

“You will share your space. You will say the right words. You will hand over your protections. And you will like it.”

But not all women did. And this is important. Women’s diverse voices are still silenced around the world including the west.

Some women just complied out of fear.

Others out of another blind obligation to kindness—even if it meant surrendering our boundaries. Again.

Some expressed thoughts in small groups where they lost longtime friends, family, and lifetime connections. But gained valuable clarity and wisdom.

And now?

People are seeing where this is going and they do not like it.

This just does not feel like the right way forward.

Now, when some of us say, “No more” or “No further”—
We are being told that we are hateful.

That we are dangerous.
That we are the ones who broke something.

But we are not the ones who forced this arrangement.
We are the ones who finally said: This union was never fair. And it was never safe.

Going forward let this be a lesson for all of society.

No relationship built on silence, shame, and fear will ever be liberating.
No woman should be asked to sacrifice her safety for someone else’s validation.
No system should coerce women into an identity they never consented to.

🌿 At WeSurviveAbuse.com, we respect women’s right to say:

“I did not choose this.”
“This does not feel safe to me.”
“I want my boundaries back.”
“I am building new boundaries today.”
On any journey, u-turns may be necessary.
We are not here to be assimilated into someone else’s identity.
We are here to reclaim our own.
Let the world adjust.