💔 When the Weight Is More Than Weight: Understanding the Link Between Trauma and Body Size

Photo by Andre Blanco

I know. This is sensitive territory. This is my battle too. 

As a Survivor, I know how heartless, cruel, and unkind people can be to those of us on healing journeys. The world often shows more patience for pain that stays silent than for pain that speaks up or shows itself in ways people don’t understand.

And I also know this: diseases, disorders, and illnesses can be bullies too. They push, pull, and punish—without our permission.

I didn’t ask for any of this. And I know you didn’t either.

But here we are, still showing up. Still confronting it all. Still choosing to face the truth—day by day, moment by moment.

Not because it’s easy. But because we deserve to live in our full truth, and in our full power.

Some people carry their trauma in silence. Others carry it in scars no one sees.

And some carry it in pounds gained through years of survival, protection, and self-soothing. That weight isn’t laziness. It isn’t failure. And it most certainly isn’t a joke.

It’s grief. It’s memory. It’s the body remembering—long after the abuse ended.

📚 What the Research Says

Many people are shocked to learn there’s a strong and well-documented connection between abuse—especially childhood abuse—and obesity. But it’s true, and it’s not about shame. It’s about survival.

• The groundbreaking Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study found that children who experience abuse are more likely to face chronic health issues later—including obesity.

• A meta-analysis in Obesity Reviews found that people with a history of sexual abuse were 35% more likely to experience obesity in adulthood [source].

• Chronic trauma activates the stress response system, including cortisol, which is linked to weight gain, especially around the midsection [source].

This is not just psychology. It’s biology. It’s the body’s way of coping with what the heart couldn’t bear.

🧠 But Why Would Trauma Lead to Weight Gain?

There are several interconnected reasons:

• Stress & Cortisol Overload: Chronic trauma triggers ongoing stress hormones, which can alter metabolism and promote fat storage.

• Emotional Eating: Food may become a source of comfort, especially when affection, stability, or love were denied.

• Safety Response: For many Survivors, weight feels like a shield—consciously or unconsciously. It can be a way to become “less visible” or to deter unwanted attention.

• Body as a Battleground: After trauma, some people struggle with body connection. They may disconnect from their needs, mistrust their hunger, or feel shame in caring for their body.

This is not gluttony. This is a trauma response.

🚫 About “Fatphobia” and Community Conversations

We need to talk gently here. Some conversations about body size are weaponized in harmful, shaming ways. Survivors already carry enough.

But in other spaces, simply naming the link between trauma and body size can get labeled as “fatphobia.”

That’s why we must approach this with truth, compassion, and nuance.

• Yes, people of all sizes deserve dignity, respect, and love.

• Yes, we must dismantle systems that shame and exclude people based on body size.

• AND we must also hold space for Survivors who are quietly struggling, hurting, and confused about how their abuse may be showing up in their body today.

No one is calling anyone’s body a problem. We are saying: Your story matters. Your healing matters. You are not lazy. You are surviving.

💬 Survivor-Affirming Truths

“I survived. And now, I am learning how to live. My body is part of that journey, not a barrier to it.”

“My weight is not a measure of my worth. My tenderness is not weakness. My hunger—whether for food, safety, or peace—is not shameful.”

“I release the shame that was never mine to carry. I return to my body with kindness, not punishment.”

“Even if no one else understands what I’ve carried, I do. And that is enough to begin healing.”

🧘🏾‍♀️ Healing Is Not a Size

We do not heal for the scale. We heal for ourselves.

• For the moments we want to breathe again without guilt.

• For the space we want to take up without apology.

• For the freedom to move, rest, eat, and live without fear.

Healing is not a diet. It’s not a weight loss plan. It’s a return to self—body, mind, and soul.

📥 Gentle Reflection Journal Prompt

• In what ways has my body tried to protect me?

• What messages did I receive growing up about food, hunger, or appearance?

• What would it mean to treat my body like a companion, instead of a battlefield?

📌 In Case No One Told You Today

You do not have to explain your body to anyone.

You do not have to apologize for surviving.

You are still sacred.

Note: If this message doesn’t resonate with you or your relationship with your body, feel free to release it. Truly—take only what nourishes you, and leave the rest.

Still, for many Survivors, this truth does resonate deeply.

There are countless Survivors who aren’t writing books, speaking on stages, or coaching online. Instead, they’ve been quietly and courageously doing the work—reconnecting with their bodies, healing what once felt broken, and tending to their own transformation.

And now? Many of them are using that lived wisdom to support others—guiding people who’ve faced all kinds of trauma to reclaim their bodies, their strength, and their sense of peace.

Healing looks different for everyone. There is no one path. Respect.