“But That’s Your Family…” There’s a sacred pain that often goes unnamed.The kind of pain that comes from realizing that someone you are related to
“But That’s Your Family…”
There’s a sacred pain that often goes unnamed.
The kind of pain that comes from realizing that someone you are related to has broken your heart—not through misunderstanding or distance, but through violation, disrespect, betrayal, neglect, or sustained harm.
And when you finally choose to stop loving them in the way you once did, here comes the chorus:
“That’s your blood.”
“That’s your family.”
As if the title alone should absolve the harm.
As if your suffering was supposed to make room for their comfort.
As if love, to be noble, must be unconditional—even when it breaks you.
A Sacred Truth
Let’s speak a truth we know deep in our bones:
Being related to someone does not give them the right to destroy your peace, your spirit, or your sense of self.
We are allowed to unlove people we are related to.
Unloving doesn’t always mean hatred.
Sometimes it means letting go of the fantasy of who they could have been.
Sometimes it means accepting that they are not safe for you, and may never be.
Sometimes it means quietly grieving what should’ve been, while refusing to keep the cycle going.
Choosing Yourself Is Not Cruel
We are not cruel for drawing sacred boundaries.
We are not cold for choosing to love ourselves more.
We are not broken for needing distance from people who have proven they cannot honor our humanity.
Unloving family is not failure.
It is often the first true act of self-parenting.
Of choosing peace over performance.
Of saying: “This legacy of pain ends with me.”
To the Survivor of Family Hurt
So to the woman who is healing from mother wounds…
To the one whose father never saw her value…
To the sibling who turned cold and cruel when you spoke your truth…
To the cousin who laughed at your pain, the uncle who crossed a line, the aunt who looked the other way…
We believe you.
We honor you.
We walk beside you.
You were never wrong for loving.
And you are not wrong now for letting go.
✨ Affirmations for the One Unloving Family to Heal
I am allowed to protect my peace—even from people I once called home.
I release the guilt that was never mine to carry.
I honor the love I gave and the wisdom that now leads me away.
I am not alone. Many have survived this before me.
I choose myself, my safety, and my sanity—over silence, guilt, and performance.
I was born to end cycles, not repeat them.
Love should never come wrapped in harm.
My healing is not betrayal. It is survival.
I trust the truth I’ve lived, even when others refuse to see it.
I give myself permission to walk away, even from what the world calls “family.”
You Are Sacred
You are not wrong.
You are rebuilding your own definition of love.
And that, dear Survivor, is powerful beyond measure.
