Some of us were taught that being a “good person” meant keeping quiet.Smoothing things over.Soften the blow.Protect their reputation.Look the other
Some of us were taught that being a “good person” meant keeping quiet.
Smoothing things over.
Soften the blow.
Protect their reputation.
Look the other way.
Pretend you didn’t hear what you heard.
Didn’t see what you saw.
We were taught that being a “good person” means:
Upholding the lies of those who harm others
Softening the language around abuse, betrayal, boundary violations, and harm
Turning pain into politeness
Telling victims to “shhh”—because their truth is too inconvenient
It was called maturity.
It was called class.
It was called “taking the high road.”
But it was never justice.
It was never goodness.
🔥 Let’s tell the truth:
Many of us were taught to be more loyal to the abuser than the abused.
We were trained to center the harm-doer’s reputation, their family, their image.
To admire them. To empathize with them.
To protect them.
And when the person they harmed cried out—
we were taught to mock them.
To silence them.
To say things like:
“It’s not that bad.”
“They didn’t mean it.”
“You just want attention.”
“You’re always so dramatic.”
“Why are you trying to ruin their life?”
And so the victim becomes the villain.
The harm-doer becomes the wounded soul we’re expected to save.
The silence becomes the shield.
And we call it virtue.
💰 This isn’t just about class either.
This conditioning exists across financial lines.
But in upper financial and social circles?
The rules are often more rigid, more silent, more “polite.” (A call for compassion for victims in these circles)
It’s not uncommon for those with more privilege to perfect the art of subtle cruelty.
Dismiss the victim.
Dismiss the poor.
Dismiss the “messy.”
Keep it polished. Keep it pretty. Keep it false.
💥 But here’s what that training does to us:
It dulls our sense of justice.
It separates us from our compassion.
It turns us into lifelong defenders of wrong—and lifelong silencers of truth.
It turns Survivors into targets and truth-tellers into outcasts.
And many of us—desperate to be seen as “good people”—never question it.
✊🏾 But today, we do.
Being a “good person” does not mean shielding people from accountability.
It does not mean mocking Survivors into silence.
It does not mean aligning yourself with cruelty for the sake of comfort.
True goodness is courageous.
It tells the truth.
Even when it’s hard.
Even when it’s unpopular.
Even when it costs you status or comfort or fake peace.
🌀 Affirmation
I don’t need to be a “good person” by someone else’s definition. I am a just person. A truth-telling person. A person who stands with the wounded, not the ones who caused the wound.
📍 [wesurviveabuse.com] | [survivoraffirmations.com] | [rosaschildren.com]
Share if you feel safe and ready—your voice might be the lifeline someone else needs. And if you do share, remember to cite the messenger. Words carry legacy.
