Please stop telling Survivors that "men wouldn’t go through the trouble of dressing up as women just to abuse women." We’ve heard it too many times
Image credit: @5uffragette
Please stop telling Survivors that “men wouldn’t go through the trouble of dressing up as women just to abuse women.”
We’ve heard it too many times. We’ve heard it from people who mean well, and we’ve heard it from people trying to gaslight us.
But here’s the truth:
Men have gone through great lengths—carefully, deliberately, and repeatedly—to gain access to women and girls in order to abuse us.
They’ve gone to school.
They’ve earned degrees.
They’ve infiltrated sacred spaces.
They’ve put on collars, badges, and uniforms.
They’ve posed as helpers, healers, lovers, feminists, and allies.
They’ve gone as far as they needed to go—because abuse is not about desire. It’s about control. It’s about access. It’s about entitlement.
If you still believe that “a man wouldn’t go that far”…
Let this list be your wake-up call.
🕳️ 50 Roles Men Have Used to Gain Access to Women for Abuse
Priest
Pastor
Youth Minister
Police Officer
Teacher
Principal
Coach
Guidance Counselor
Foster Parent
Stepfather
Uncle
Father
Social Worker
School Bus Driver
Camp Counselor
Correctional Officer
GYN/OB
Nurse
Massage Therapist
Dentist
Personal Trainer
Photographer
Modeling Scout
Talent Agent
Film Director
Billionaire Philanthropist
University Professor
Department Chair
Roommate
Co-worker
Boss
Uber Driver
Food Delivery Person
Home Repairman
Security Guard
Shelter Volunteer
Nonprofit Leader
Domestic Violence Advocate (yes, even here)
Trans Rights Activist (some—not all, but yes, some)
Feminist Ally
Online “Safe Space” Moderator
OnlyFans/Adult Content Creator posing as a woman
Influencer or YouTuber
The point is this:
Predators go wherever the access is easiest.
They go wherever women’s boundaries are weakest.
They go wherever they can hide in plain sight.
And yes, some of them absolutely do dress up, perform, or present themselves in any way they need to if it means gaining unfiltered access to women and children’s spaces, bodies, and trust.
Survivors know this.
We’ve lived this.
And we will not be shamed, silenced, or dismissed for raising the alarm.
Because our safety comes first.
Not someone else’s costume.
Not someone else’s feelings.
Our safety. Period.
Breaking the Myth: “Men Don’t Need to Be Trans to Rape Women”
Creating Safe Spaces: Encouraging Open Discussions About Personal Security
Truth Heals: Why Forcing Survivors to Lie About Identity is Harmful
Gaslighting with a Grin: What Covert Bullying Really Looks Like
Let’s Not Confuse Two Different Struggles: Jim Crow and Sex-Based Boundaries Are Not the Same
Don’t Erase Us to Include Others: The Cost of Confusing Oppressions
