🎭 The Enforcer in the Room: When Women Police Other Women for Abusers

“I will give you something to cry out about”

There is something few people want to talk about—
but every Survivor knows it.

In systems of abuse and exploitation,
there is almost always a woman assigned to keep the others in line.

In human trafficking, she’s called the “bottom.”
She is often the woman who has been there the longest. She wears the crown that hurts like hell.

The one who enforces the rules laid down by the pimp, the trafficker, the abuser.

The one who says, “Don’t cry.”
The one who says, “Get back out there.”
The one who says, “You owe him.”

And if necessary, the one who uses violence—emotional, psychological, or physical—to keep the others compliant.

And it doesn’t just happen in trafficking.
It happens in everyday society.
In activism. In families. In workplaces. Online.

When women speak up for boundaries, for safety, for truth—
there’s often another woman ready to tear her down.
Not because she wants freedom.
But because she’s become the enforcer for the very systems that harm women.

She shows up in digital spaces saying:

• “It costs nothing to be kind.”

• 

  “Why does it matter who’s in the women’s space?”

• “You’re just being difficult.”

• “Stop making a scene.”

• “I’m not concerned or afraid.”

• “You’re embarrassing the movement.”

• “I will override your voice. Men can come in and do whatever they want.”
• “I support rapists, child rapists, serial killers…and marry them too. IDC”

She will not call the abuse abuse.
She will not call the danger danger.
She will not sit with discomfort.
She will not ask, “Why are so many women afraid?”

Instead, she will shame, silence, and socially exile the ones who dare to say,
“This doesn’t feel right to me.”
“This is not okay with me.”

Some do it for proximity to power.
Some do it because they were never allowed to feel safe themselves.
Some do it because they think this is the only way to survive.
And some do it because they’ve confused compliance with compassion.

But we will not be quiet.

We will not ignore the pain of women being erased, exploited, or endangered—just because another woman is doing the silencing.

We know this tactic well:
When oppressors want to control women,
they appoint another woman to do the work for them.

But here’s the truth:
A woman who silences other women for telling truth is not helping us heal.
She is protecting the very systems that have destroyed generations of women and girls.
She may wear the mask of sisterhood.

She may quote kindness like a weapon. Like scripture itself.
But she is not safe. SHE is not SAFE.

To the women who are hurting, silenced, bullied, and shamed:
We see you. We believe you. We are not fooled.

To the women who play the role of the enforcer:
We don’t hate you.
We know some of you are also victims.
But if you are protecting abuse, silencing Survivors, or aiding those who cause harm—
you are standing in the way of our collective freedom.

This work is sacred.
This pain is real.
And this truth is not up for debate.

We Survive Abuse.
We will not go quiet.
Not again. Not ever.

🕊️

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