A movement does not become more compassionate by asking the vulnerable to become invisible. True justice makes more room without removing the people w
A movement does not become more compassionate by asking the vulnerable to become invisible. True justice makes more room without removing the people who were already standing there.
Who decided Black women weren’t feminine?
Seriously. Who made that decision?
Who decided our strength meant masculinity? That working hard meant we were built for hardship? That surviving what was done to us proved we could survive anything?
And then, somehow, that story became an obligation.
If Black women are “strong,” we should carry more.
If we are “tough,” we should tolerate more.
If we are supposedly less delicate, then we should labor for everyone else while expecting very little tenderness in return.
But I have another question:
Why are Black women required to organize our lives around somebody else’s definition of our femininity?
If somebody decided we weren’t feminine enough, why are we still doing the labor to compensate for their judgment?
Why should we prove our womanhood through service to men?
Through exhaustion?
Through cooking, cleaning, caregiving, emotional management, sexual availability, security between men, loyalty, sacrifice, silence?
What if femininity was never something other people had the authority to grant us?
What if Black women stopped auditioning for a category we were deliberately excluded from anyway?
What if our own unique category that we were born into IS the ideal category for us?
Maybe the more interesting question isn’t whether Black women are feminine.
Maybe it is:
Who benefited from convincing us that our womanhood was something we had to earn?
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