✍🏽 By Tonya GJ Prince | WeSurviveAbuse.com There’s a quiet knowing among many Survivors:We don’t need to be gutted open again to prove that we made i
✍🏽 By Tonya GJ Prince | WeSurviveAbuse.com
There’s a quiet knowing among many Survivors:
We don’t need to be gutted open again to prove that we made it.
These days, it feels like there’s an endless stream of stories, documentaries, memoirs, podcasts—each more graphic than the last. Pain on full display. Abuse spelled out in vivid, haunting detail. And while awareness is important, let’s be honest…
Not all storytelling is healing.
Some of it centers insight, growth, and courage.
But some of it centers pain, voyeurism, exhibitionism, and unresolved harm.
And as Survivors, we have every right to know the difference—and to choose accordingly.
I have personally, quietly, walked away from more than one Survivor event that I assisted in planning. For instance, sometimes the fellow members of the planning committee may think that an X-rated description of someone’s worst day -an assault-wrapped in song or spoken word is “powerful”. I do not share that opinion.
There are Survivors and non-Survivors in the audience who …….(I just stopped typing) …..can’t get that out of my head. Can’t get what was said out of my head. THIS on top of the avalanche of harmful memories I’ve been handling in my own life. For my own survival.
I continued going to meetings but after that, something deep within me had parted ways with that group. I really was walking through the motions on autopilot.
At some point, I chose to listen to her. I chose to honor her. I chose her. I chose me. Gradually my connection slowed to an end.
Your boundaries are valid.
Whether you’re sitting in a theater, flipping through pages, or just scrolling through your screen—you get to decide what enters your spirit.
You do not owe anyone your silence.
You do not owe anyone your attention.
You do not owe anyone your triggers.
You don’t need a trigger warning to walk away.
You don’t need to finish that film, that book, or that post.
Just because it’s called a “Survivor story” doesn’t mean it honors you.
Because true healing doesn’t leave you splintered.
True healing knows your nervous system. It respects your journey.
It gives you tools, not trauma.
We are not here to consume suffering as a form of strength.
That’s not justice. That’s not growth. That’s not healing.
It’s okay to want stories that rebuild, not rebreak.
It’s okay to want storytelling that uplifts your soul and your dignity.
It’s okay to want to feel powerful, not picked apart.
Let this be your reminder:
You don’t need graphic pain to know we survive.
You are the proof. Your life, your strength, your boundaries—they are holy.
You can turn the page. You can turn the channel. You can walk away.
And still—you will be walking in power.
