🛑 Stop Saying “Men Wouldn’t Go That Far to Abuse Women

Image credit: @5uffragette

Please stop telling Survivors that “men wouldn’t go through the trouble of dressing up as women just to abuse women.”

We’ve heard it too many times. We’ve heard it from people who mean well, and we’ve heard it from people trying to gaslight us.

But here’s the truth:
Men have gone through great lengths—carefully, deliberately, and repeatedly—to gain access to women and girls in order to abuse us.

They’ve gone to school.
They’ve earned degrees.
They’ve infiltrated sacred spaces.
They’ve put on collars, badges, and uniforms.
They’ve posed as helpers, healers, lovers, feminists, and allies.

They’ve gone as far as they needed to go—because abuse is not about desire. It’s about control. It’s about access. It’s about entitlement.

If you still believe that “a man wouldn’t go that far”…
Let this list be your wake-up call.

🕳️ 50 Roles Men Have Used to Gain Access to Women for Abuse

1. Priest

2. Pastor

3. Youth Minister

4. Police Officer

5. Teacher

6. Principal

7. Coach

8. Guidance Counselor

9. Foster Parent

10. Stepfather

11. Uncle

12. Father

13. Boyfriend

14. Social Worker

15. Therapist

16. School Bus Driver

17. Camp Counselor

18. Correctional Officer

19. GYN/OB

20. Surgeon

21. Nurse

22. Massage Therapist

23. Dentist

24. Personal Trainer

25. Photographer

26. Modeling Scout

27. Talent Agent

28. Film Director

29. Music Producer

30. Celebrity

31. Billionaire Philanthropist

32. University Professor

33. Department Chair

34. Roommate

35. Co-worker

36. Boss

37. Uber Driver

38. Food Delivery Person

39. Home Repairman

40. Janitor

41. Security Guard

42. Shelter Volunteer

43. Nonprofit Leader

44. Domestic Violence Advocate (yes, even here)

45. Trans Rights Activist (some—not all, but yes, some)

46. Feminist Ally

47. Online “Safe Space” Moderator

48. OnlyFans/Adult Content Creator posing as a woman

49. Influencer or YouTuber

50. Stranger pretending to be someone else online (catfish)

The point is this:

Predators go wherever the access is easiest.
They go wherever women’s boundaries are weakest.
They go wherever they can hide in plain sight.

And yes, some of them absolutely do dress up, perform, or present themselves in any way they need to if it means gaining unfiltered access to women and children’s spaces, bodies, and trust.

Survivors know this.
We’ve lived this.

And we will not be shamed, silenced, or dismissed for raising the alarm.

Because our safety comes first.
Not someone else’s costume.
Not someone else’s feelings.
Our safety. Period.

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