There is a dangerous misconception that rape is simply about lust or uncontrolled sexual attraction. This is false. Rape is about power and control. I
There is a dangerous misconception that rape is simply about lust or uncontrolled sexual attraction. This is false. Rape is about power and control. It is about domination, humiliation, and the stripping away of another person’s autonomy.
Rape Is an Act of Violence
While it involves sexual acts, rape is not about attraction or passion. It is about power over another person’s body and will. The predator seeks to dominate, to instill fear, and to strip their victim of agency. This is why rape is often used as a weapon of war, as a tool of oppression, and as a means of enforcing hierarchies of power.
Predators Know What They Are Doing
Predators do not act out of confusion or lack of control. They choose their victims. They test boundaries. They manipulate, coerce, and strategize. They may disguise their intentions, but their goal is always about exerting power over another human being.
Why Words Matter: Male Predators Are Male
When we allow language to obscure the reality of male violence, we do a grave injustice to victims. Calling male predators she/her does not change who they are, but it does erase the reality that the vast majority of sexual violence is committed by males. It distorts statistics, weakens protections, and creates a false sense of safety.
- Victims are overwhelmingly female.
- Perpetrators are overwhelmingly male.
- This pattern holds across history, across cultures, across every data set we have.
Mislabeling a male predator as female erases the lived experience of victims, making it harder to fight for protections, to create effective policies, and to hold perpetrators accountable.
Why This Matters for Survivors
Survivors deserve the truth. They deserve a world that acknowledges the reality of male violence without distortion or confusion. When society obscures this reality, it undermines the ability to create safe spaces, hold abusers accountable, and demand justice.
Accountability, Not Accommodation
No one should be forced to call their rapist she/her. No one should be expected to pretend that male violence is anything other than what it is. Survivors do not owe politeness to predators. They do not owe language accommodations to the men who have harmed them.
Rape is not about sex. It is about power. And power thrives in distortion, confusion, and silence. Survivors deserve clarity, justice, and the right to name their reality without apology.
Predators Exploit Weakness in Systems
One of the most dangerous aspects of distorting language around male violence is that it gives predators an entry point into spaces designed to protect women and children. When laws, policies, or institutions refuse to acknowledge male violence as a gendered issue, predators find loopholes to insert themselves where they do not belong.
- They enter women’s shelters by claiming a female identity, forcing Survivors to share space with those who embody their deepest trauma.
- They enter female prisons, where women—many of whom are already victims of abuse—are placed at even greater risk.
- They enter support groups for Survivors, shifting the focus away from healing and safety toward accommodating the feelings of the perpetrator.
This is not a hypothetical. This is happening. And when we refuse to name it for what it is, we fail Survivors.
Survivors Deserve Boundaries
Survivors should never be coerced into accepting language that minimizes their trauma or erases the reality of male violence. No one has the right to dictate how a Survivor refers to the person who harmed them. Survivors have the right to say no—to policies, to social pressures, and to narratives that do not serve their healing.
The truth is simple: rape is about power and control. Male predators are male. Language matters. Survivors matter.
What Can We Do?
- Refuse to play along with distorted language. Truth matters more than politeness.
- Advocate for clear, reality-based protections for women and children. No policy should sacrifice female safety to avoid offending predators.
- Support Survivors in speaking their truth. No one should be silenced to protect the comfort of those who do harm.
- Educate others. The more we talk about this issue, the harder it becomes to ignore.
Survivors have already lost so much. They should not have to fight for the right to name their reality, too.
