Loving Safely

  Let’s talk about one of the most sinister tactics in the game:Sex-Based Social Control. On the surface, it may look like beauty standards, preferences, or cultural norms. But when …

Until this country reckons with how it treats Black people—how its systems treat Black people—how it still treats Black women carrying chronic illness passed down through bloodlines poisoned by mistreatment …

When we talk about Adriana Smith, especially online, we must remember: people around the world are entering this conversation from vastly different realities. In some countries, healthcare isn’t tied to …

People are always telling us about the habits of powerful people. Well, one thing that powerful people do is maintain strict boundaries. The average person can’t access them. We are …

When someone in your life always chooses to have hurt feelings, especially over things that aren’t intended to be hurtful, it can feel like walking through a minefield barefoot. You’re …

Some of us were taught that being a “good person” meant keeping quiet.Smoothing things over.Soften the blow.Protect their reputation.Look the other way.Pretend you didn’t hear what you heard.Didn’t see what …

It Can Be a Ramp-Up to Violence. Especially Against the Vulnerable. Too often, male agitation is brushed off.He’s “just stressed.”He’s “had a rough day.”“He didn’t mean it like that.” But …

At first, you felt flattered.He spoke highly of you. Said you were different. Said you were “better” than the women of his own race. Smarter. Softer. More loyal. More attractive. …

Move With a Flow That Honors You (inspired by your closing words—soft, powerful, rooted in survival and self-worth) We don’t always know what to call it when love starts to …

“We don’t warn one another how hard this part is.” Sometimes setting a boundary feels less like self-care and more like you’re about to get in trouble. You feel it …