Loving Safely

The Truth: Many of Us Were Taught to Ignore What We Knew Deep Down If you’ve ever said:“I should’ve known.”“I felt something was off.”“I saw the red flags but stayed …

But What Happens When You Stop? The Sign:You minimize your gifts, your pain, your truth—because you’ve been told your full presence makes people uncomfortable.So you soften your words, dim your …

Self-abandonment is one of the most overlooked consequences of surviving abuse, harassment, or assault.It’s what happens when you learn—often in order to survive (poverty, abuse, violence, racism, sexism, misogyny, disability)—that …

(And How to Come Home to Yourself) Self-abandonment isn’t always loud. It often slips in quietly, disguised as being “easygoing,” “low maintenance,” or “strong.” For Survivors, self-abandonment can become a …

Some people don’t believe in your mission, your healing, or your values.They just learn to sound like they do—because it gets them something. Here’s what they’re really after: 1. To …

Avoid letting any man—no matter how soft his tone, poetic his struggle, or urgent his cause—trick you into laboring for him, defending him, uplifting himwhen he has shown he wouldn’t …

Stop weaponizing white men’s impunity to excuse Black men’s predation. Accountability for Black predators is not— and will never be—measured against how many white men got away with it.That is …

10 Future Faking Abuse Statements “I’m going to get help—just give me a little more time.”Used to delay accountability and stop the Survivor from leaving. “Let’s have a baby… that’ll …

Let’s talk about something a lot of Survivors don’t even know has a name—but once you see it, you can’t unsee it. It’s called future faking.And it’s one of the …

Let’s tell the truth:This world wants women to be at war with each other. Not over justice.Not over safety.But over aesthetics. It’s no accident that we’re pitted against one another: …