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Somebody asks where you want to eat, and your mind goes straight to what everybody else will enjoy.
You know who dislikes spicy food. You remember who complained about the parking. By the time you have considered the whole group, your own preference has become difficult to hear.
Then someone says, “You never know what you want.”
Perhaps you have not had much practice being allowed to want it.
Start with something small enough to enjoy
You do not need a grand reinvention. Put on music while you cook and notice which song you replay. Choose a color because you like looking at it.
Small preferences count. They give you opportunities to make decisions without requiring those decisions to justify an entire new identity. Or approval.
Let yourself change your mind
You can try gardening and discover that you prefer visiting gardens. You can buy a book, dislike it, and stop reading.
Learning what you enjoy includes discovering what you do not enjoy. Neither outcome means you failed.
Keep some pleasure free from performance
A hobby does not have to become income, content, or proof that you are healing well. You can make an uneven bowl in a pottery class and still have had a lovely afternoon.
There may be a whole world of preferences waiting for you beneath the habit of accommodating everyone else.
You are allowed to meet yourself slowly.
