As challenging as it is to imagine, the holidays are dangerous times for people in toxic relationships. As advocates, you always know that the holiday
As challenging as it is to imagine, the holidays are dangerous times for people in toxic relationships. As advocates, you always know that the holidays will be your busiest times when a large number of police reports will flood in.
(And, imagine the number of folks who don’t contact the police.) If you know someone in a toxic relationship please check on them and make sure they have a plan to stay safe.
Creating a safety plan is crucial for women and men who find themselves on holiday vacation with a violent relationship partner.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
1. Prioritize Safety: Remember to trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe or fear for your well-being, take action immediately.
2. Seek Emotional Support: Reach out to a trusted friend or family member who can provide emotional support and guidance throughout the vacation. Inform them about your situation and keep them updated regularly.
3. Research Your Destination: Familiarize yourself with the layout and resources of your vacation destination. Note important information, including the local emergency phone numbers, nearby police stations, hospitals, and women’s shelters.
4. Keep Important Documents: Make copies of essential documents like your passport, identification, health insurance cards, and credit cards. Store them separately from the originals or share them with someone you trust, such as your emergency contact.
5. Secure Accommodations: If possible, research nearby hotels or guesthouses that you can relocate to if the situation becomes hostile.
6. Emergency Exit Strategy: Identify potential safe exits from your current lodging, such as a door or window. Plan an escape route and know how to access it quickly if necessary.
7. Secure Communication: Set up a private and secure communication method. This could be using a secret code or discreetly notifying your emergency contact, signaling for help, or using apps specifically designed for emergency assistance.
8. Safety in Public Places: Keep a low profile while in public areas. Avoid disclosing personal information or discussing relationship issues openly. If you need to make an emergency call or seek help, look for locations that are well-lit and populated with people.
9. Emergency Contacts: Create a list of emergency contacts, including local authorities, your emergency contact person, and the nearest embassy or consulate. Keep this list with you at all times, including on your phone, on paper, or both.
10. In Case of Violence: If you find yourself in a physically dangerous situation, call the local emergency services immediately (check the local emergency number in advance). If possible, find a safe location with others around you until help arrives.
11. Trust Hotel Staff: If you’re staying at a hotel, inform the front desk discreetly about your situation, so they are aware of your circumstances and may lend assistance if needed.
12. Personal Security: Carry a personal safety alarm, whistle, or other discreet devices that can help attract attention and deter potential attackers in case of an emergency.
13. Have an Escape Bag: Prepare a small bag with essential items packed in advance, including clothes, personal hygiene products, medications, phone charger, and some cash. Keep it hidden where you can easily access it if you need to leave quickly.
14. Maintain Healthy Boundaries: Refrain from engaging in arguments or confrontations that can escalate the situation. Avoid discussing sensitive topics or sensitive matters that may trigger violence.
15. Trust Your Gut: If anything feels wrong or unsafe, trust your instincts and take immediate action. Remove yourself from the situation, seek help, and reach out to local authorities or employees at your accommodations. Try to avoid letting embarrassment or “making a scene” deter you from seeking assistance.
16. Check For Devices: Check for hidden recording devices around you in the car, room, your bags, etc… or even newly added ones on your phone, laptop, etc.
Remember, this safety plan should be adaptable to your specific circumstances. Utilizing the resources available and seeking professional advice from local organizations or helplines can provide valuable guidance and support during this difficult time.
Also, trustworthy friends and family members really do want to help. Please use them. Not everyone may know what you need at first. You may have to help them with that a little bit. But not knowing what to do doesn’t mean not wanting to help you.
Please stay safe.
COMMENTS