When Setting Boundaries Feels Wrong (But It’s Actually You Healing)
"We don't warn one another how hard this part is."
Sometimes setting a boundary feels less like self-care and more like you’re about to get in troubl [...]
She Never Saw It Coming: The Danger of Assuming a Man Will Take Care of You for a Lifetime
No woman envisions herself needing the services of a domestic violence or rape advocate. No woman walks into a marriage or long-term relationship expe [...]
The Gate That Didn’t Trust Anyone (podcast episode)
The Gate That Didn't Trust AnyoneAt first glance, it's just an old wooden gate.It squeaks when it opens. It always swings shut. It stands quietly [...]
Courtney Stodden’s Lifetime Movie Exposes the Public Grooming of a Child Bride—and the Cruelty of Celebrity Culture
I wasn't deeply familiar with this young woman prior to watching the Lifetime movie. I'm a bit out of her target age range. But being a teenager and t [...]
Privacy Is Not Prejudice. It’s Protection.
Somewhere along the way, somebody got bold enough to say it out loud:"That makes me uncomfortable."
She said it gently at first.A whisper in the lock [...]
“Not This Person” Is Old Reputation Management — And We’ve Fought This Before
Domestic violence advocates have been here before.
For decades, advocates fought a very specific lie.Not loudly at first.But relentless [...]
🔥 The Price of Loyalty to the Lie
Some silence isn’t ignorance. It’s allegiance.
There are women who didn’t know.There are women who didn’t see.There are women who were misled, manipu [...]
Because I Don’t Want To: The Power of Women’s Final Answer
updated from April 19, 2025
There is a battle still being fought—quietly, daily, in the hearts, homes, and conversations of women across the [...]
The Overlooked Truth: Asexuality, Boundaries, and Survivor Safety
Conversations about safety, consent, and boundaries are vital, yet there is a community that often gets overlooked: asexual individuals. Asexuality [...]
What Happens When the Woman We Call Strong Tells Us She Was Hurt?
Listening tells you so much about where we really are as a society. A WNBA player spoke about her experience with sexual violence. The comments were n [...]
When Power Aligns Against a Black Woman: Why Megan’s Case Still Matters for Every Survivor
There are times in this work where you have to resist the urge to cuss everybody clean out. Just tell people the truth with no filter.
That's why I [...]
Ida B. Wells Was One of America’s Earliest Anti-Sexual-Violence Advocates. It’s Time We Said So.
One of the reasons I started this blog in the early 2000s was because of something I kept seeing after serving in many different roles within the move [...]
How People Prompt or Lure Women to Prove Their Worth
"Why doesn't she leave? Why did she go back?"
We don't spend a lot of time examining what makes women doubt themselves. I look forward to the [...]
Pornography Didn’t Start the Fire: A Clear Look at History, Power, and Violence
With war, comes murder and rape
Pornography is often blamed as the reason violence—especially violence against women—has escalated.
That sounds clea [...]
Leaving Isn’t the End of Abuse: Why Teens Need Protection When They Break Free
Something many people don’t understand
The most dangerous time for a victim is often when they are trying to leave.
This is true for adult [...]
Why Women Say ‘Text Me When You Get Home’: The Everyday Safety Steps Men Rarely Think About (video)
Our continued thoughts and condolences to the family and loved ones of Nia Wilson. May she rest in peace and power.
When women say “Text me when you [...]
Red Flags: Why Am I Feeling Unseen Here? Clues Survivors Notice First.
To be clear: People are not going to always feel seen. This is a huge planet. We are specifically talking about spaces, and conversations around viole [...]
🕯️ No Screening? No Safety.
“There is no screening process for the males who are allowed into women’s spaces. That silence is the policy.”
🌾 1. The Hidden RealityAcross gyms [...]
Healing Changed Me—And Some People Only Loved the Version of Me Who Didn’t Know Her Worth
A post for the Survivor who’s outgrowing relationships built on their silence, sacrifice, and self-erasure
There’s a version of you they liked bett [...]
The Four Pillars of Oppression: Misogyny, Gynophobia, Sexism, and Patriarchy
Women do not suffer oppression by accident. The systems that harm us—misogyny, gynophobia, sexism, and patriarchy—are built into society, shaping the [...]
WE Survive Abuse Book Club: The Quiet Zone
The Quiet Zone authored by Petal Kimberly SamuelThere is a kind of quiet that feels like freedom.The house after everyone has gone to sleep. S [...]
They Love What We Give, Not Who We Are: The Quiet Erasure of Women’s Inner Lives
When we say, “He objectified her,” we make it sound like mere casual disrespect.What really happens is extermination of recognition.She is [...]
This Is Not Confusion. It Is Memory: Black Women, Language, and the Right to Self-Definition.
updated from June 2025
This history is not symbolic. It is specific, embodied, and carried forward through language.
For many Black American [...]
When Niceness Becomes a Trap: Why Women Deserve the Bottom Line, Not Confusion
Women are often encouraged to be kind, accommodating, flexible, and understanding — even when our safety is at stake. We are told to “be nice.” We are [...]
When Our Words Teach Them What’s “Normal” About Violence
If we’re spending more time excusing violence—saying we “understand” or “forgive” men who hurt women—than we are affirming what love and safety look l [...]
They Don’t Deserve to Witness the Healed You if They Mocked the Broken You
Can we romanticizing reconciliation with people who ridiculed your pain?
If they laughed when you were gasping for air—If they rolled their eyes wh [...]
You Can’t Unsee What You Survived
They thought if they said sorry enough times,you’d forget how many times they weren’t.
They thought that time would blur the memories,tha [...]
What Happens When Women Fully Stop Performing Labor For the Male Gaze?
Words That Tried to Tame WomenFor generations, women have been shamed into labor — emotional, physical, spiritual — through language that sounds o [...]
When You Change a Safety Boundary, Tell Women What Replaced It: 10 Questions We Have Every Right to Ask
Another man has been arrested after an alleged sexual assault inside a women's locker room.I could spend this entire article discussing that parti [...]
Why Are Women Still Expected to Risk Our Safety Just to Exercise?
Like so many Survivors of childhood sexual violence — and other forms of abuse — I live with chronic pain. Some days, it’s excruciating. But nearly [...]
Please Stop Signaling Support to Grown Men Accused of Harming Children
Start Showing Up for the People Who Need It Most
When someone is arrested for harming a child,we do not need adults jumping online or into rooms to s [...]
Trauma Does Not Always Look Like Trauma
We tend to imagine trauma as someone crying when they remember something terrible.Sometimes it looks nothing like that.Sometimes trauma looks [...]