The Patriarchy’s Secret Weakness | Why Withdrawal Works (video by Therese)
"Misogyny doesnt show up as hate, it shows up as expectations" Patriarchy is not just a system of laws. It is a ghost we keep alive by feeding it. [...]
Why Are Women Told to Stay Calm About Things That Should Horrify Everyone?
When women, girls, and children talk about boundaries, it’s not hate speaking. It’s concern. It’s exhaustion. It’s survival language. Too often, th [...]
Safety Plan: National Alert
A Survivor of domestic violence contacted me today and asked that I remind other victims who may still be living at home with the person who is abusiv [...]
Some of Us Can’t Pretend Institutions Are Harmless
It’s a strange kind of exhaustion—working beside women who understand abuse in private relationships, yet act confused when the same dyn [...]
Self-Abandonment: How Survivors Can Come Home to Themselves
Self-abandonment is one of the most overlooked consequences of surviving abuse, harassment, or assault.It’s what happens when you learn—often in order [...]
✅ Moral Gaslighting: When Women Asking for Safety Are Treated Like the Problem
What is moral gaslighting?
Moral gaslighting happens when women speak up for their own safety, and instead of being heard, they are shamed, discredit [...]
She Spoke Truthfully -And Nothing Has Been the Same Since (Update on Nurse Jennifer Melle)
When did we all agree to make professional female carers and providers the new global target?
Which political leaders are speaking for women's profe [...]
❓FAQ: What’s Going On With Untested Rape Kits?
Q: What is a rape kit?
A rape kit (also called a sexual assault forensic evidence kit) is used to collect DNA and physical evidence from a [...]
🎯 What We Will Not Be Prioritizing When Women Demand Safety, Health & Well-Being
When women cry out for justice, safety, healing, and the right to exist without fear, the response is too often not action—but distraction.
Instead [...]
7 Signs You’re Not “Being the Bigger Person”—You’re Being Eroded
You think you’re doing the right thing.Being nice.Being kind.Being patient.Taking the high road....just like you were taught.
But when you're deali [...]
Don’t Look Away: How Polite Fiction Becomes a Predator’s Shield
There is language that has been troubling my soul. As a Womanist historian, I know that misinformation is not just an error; it is a weapon use [...]
🎬 We’re Not Just Watching the Story—We’re Being Told Who We’re Allowed to Be
At We Survive Abuse, we talk a lot about truth, survival, and the power of reclaiming your story. But what if I told you that even the stories we wa [...]
💔 When She Protects Herself, He Cries Harm
[wesurviveabuse.com]
There are men—too many—who believe that a woman harms them simply by refusing to be harmed by them.
She sets a boundary.She tel [...]
🤲🏽 What Is Self-Trust? (And Why Is It So Hard After Abuse?)
Self-trust is the sacred belief that your own voice is worth listening to.It’s the quiet knowing inside that says: “I believe myself. I can rely [...]
✂️ Unlearning the Lie: When “Being a Good Person” Means Upholding Harm
Some of us were taught that being a “good person” meant keeping quiet.Smoothing things over.Soften the blow.Protect their reputation.Look the other wa [...]
When the Gate Swings Open: The Floodgate Effect and the Harm That Follows
Some harms don’t happen in isolation.
They happen because someone was let in who shouldn’t have been.And then, no one shut the door behind them.
In [...]
There Is No Bad Day to Tell the Truth
To every Survivor who has ever hesitated, second-guessed, or swallowed the truth to protect someone else's comfort:You are not late.You are not wrong. [...]
Who Gets Believed Without Footnotes?
People closest to power.
Belief, in our world, is not evenly distributed. It flows along familiar lines—toward those whose voices already sound “righ [...]
The Hidden Bill: What Violence Against Women Really Costs
When we talk about violence, we rarely talk about what the financial costs. Not just the broken bones or the heartbreak — but the billions of dolla [...]
When Women Excuse Violence, Everyone Pays: The High Cost of Ignoring Abuse
In politics, too many women of privilege in America give violent men a pass.
They vote for them.
They praise them.
They scold other women for not l [...]
Stop Calling It “Race Baiting”: Black Maternal Death Is a Life-or-Death Reality (podcast episode)
Black women speaking about maternal death are not “race baiting.” This is a call-out of minimization, deflection, and tone policing when mothe [...]
Retro Report: The Domestic Violence Case That Turned Outrage Into Action
Generation X was not ready for this story but we needed it! Our Boomer parents were not ready either but they most definitely needed it. In fac [...]
Leaving Isn’t the End of Abuse: Why Teens Need Protection When They Break Free
Something many people don’t understand
The most dangerous time for a victim is often when they are trying to leave.
This is true for adult [...]
🌿 What Is Healing?
I'm a plant Mom again. I didn't realize I was sensitive about it until I sent one of my relatives pictures of my plants. She didn't say anythin [...]
Critical Thinking for More Clarity and Safety
When it comes to violence and abuse, critical thinking is vitally important. How would we know the difference between what is true and wha [...]
Unlock Your Inner Power: Recognize Gaslighting Insults and Empower Yourself
Originally posted March 27, 2024
Affirmation:
I am the catalyst for change,
the voice that speaks truth to power.
Gaslightin [...]
Your Safety Is More Important Than Politeness.
When you leave a relationship, your top priority is not etiquette.It’s not closure.It’s not being polite.And it’s certainly not obeying the so-calle [...]
The Overlooked Truth: Asexuality, Boundaries, and Survivor Safety
Conversations about safety, consent, and boundaries are vital, yet there is a community that often gets overlooked: asexual individuals. Asexuality [...]
When Niceness Becomes a Trap: Why Women Deserve the Bottom Line, Not Confusion
Women are often encouraged to be kind, accommodating, flexible, and understanding — even when our safety is at stake. We are told to “be nice.” We are [...]
Preserve the Woman. Protect the Fire.
When you finally realize that someone’s harmful behavior has more to do with their internal war than anything about you…
You begin to breathe differe [...]
What Really Protects Women: Moving Beyond Racial Myths and Toward Real Safety
For generations, women have been taught to fear the wrong things.We were warned about dark alleys, strangers, and the “unknown man” who might leap out [...]
When Writing Becomes Duty
We don't talk enough about women who have written their way through pain and abuse.
Across history, when power concentrates in ways that silence peop [...]