𧨠Myth-Busting the âRacial Harmonyâ Era: What We Werenât Supposed to Say
Many believe the 1980s to early 2000s were a time of racial harmony in America, especially within the women's movement to end violence. But for Black, [...]
Highlighting Stories Calling for An End to Violence Against Women and Children in 2023 Part 1
There has been debate around Black victims of domestic and sexual violence withdrawing support from writers and creators who choose to ridicule, [...]
This Is Why Victims Sue: It’s Not About Greed. It’s About Survival.
They say itâs a âcash grab.âThey roll their eyes.They whisper behind hands.They ask: Why didnât she just go to the police?
But we know better.
Weâve [...]
What the Church and People of Faith Can Do to Help Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence
 Updated 8 21 2025Â
original March 2016About sixteen years ago, I was sitting in service while Pastor Lance Watson preach [...]
12 Most Alarming Revelations Ann Rule Shared About Knowing Ted Bundy
Ann Rule is one of my faves. I liked her long before I started hearing about her connection to Ted Bundy. Her insight into the tragic stories she told [...]
Why Some People Fear the Truth About Domination
Thereâs a strange thing happening in our world todayâespecially onlineâwhere people want to argue about the words we use instead of faci [...]
The Faux Fight Against Child Sex Abuse
Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the ban [...]
Say It With Your Chest: Black Victims Deserve JusticeâNo Exceptions
Stop weaponizing white menâs impunity to excuse Black menâs predation.Accountability for Black predators is notâ and will never beâmeasured ag [...]
Only 2% “Owned” Slaves?â The Dangerous Game of Subtracting Context
Weâve all heard it: âOnly 2% of white people "owned" slaves.âItâs a talking point tossed around to downplay history. But hereâs the truth: itâs not th [...]
âWhy All Women Deserve to Be Heard When Speaking About Violence and AbuseâNot Just the Powerfulâ
For many men, all of life is a measuring contest.Who has more. Who is stronger. Who commands the most followers, the highest salary, the biggest pla [...]
Why Survivors of Abuse Can’t Afford to Choose Political Candidates Like Party Entertainment (And the 15 Things That Actually Matter)
Most women, even if they are in a soft season now, do not have the luxury of choosing leaders like a child chooses entertainment for a birthday party. [...]
đż Faith, Healing, and the Work of Safe People
People who support Survivorsâfrom all walks of lifeâshould know this:
many Survivors are people of faith.Not all. But many.Some draw stre [...]
Part 2: Why I Resist Diluted Language
But self-knowledgeBut self-knowledgeThe reason I refuse diluted language is because I have watched institutions dilute women's experiences f [...]
Even in Progressive Spaces, Systems Still Fail Survivors
In many justice-minded communities, we say the right things:
đŠ Believe Survivors.đŠ Abolish harmful systems.đŠ Center the most marginalized.đŠ Practic [...]
I Will Survive: How Survivor Gloria Gaynor Keeps Inspiring Decades After the Release of Grammy Winning Song
originally published 2/8/ 2016At First I Was Afraid... When we have been wounded we must heal. To do that, I think we all use a combination of&n [...]
What Really Protects Women: Moving Beyond Racial Myths and Toward Real Safety
For generations, women have been taught to fear the wrong things.We were warned about dark alleys, strangers, and the âunknown manâ who might leap out [...]
âCan an AI Aunt Teach Humanity the Compassion It Forgot?â
In South Africa, a woman built an AI âAuntâ â a digital guide designed to support women facing violence. Itâs a beautiful innovation born from heartbr [...]
Mail Order Domestic Violence
(revised from original post 7/1/15)After the RiceLila married Jack.
Things were fairy tale for a long time.
And then the abuse started.
[...]
Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Expanding the Conversation to Cohabitation Spaces
October reminds us to shine light on the realities of domestic violence. Too often, our discussions focus narrowly on what happens behind the closed [...]
If You Donât Name It, You Canât Protect It
*Note: This horrifying and tragic Dominican Republic story came to my attention because of white adult human females who identify as feminists. From t [...]
There is a Difference Between: “I Want This and I Do Not Want This”
updated from July 31 2016Â
Consensual sex and sexual violence are not the same.
They are not close.They are not interchangeable.They do not belong [...]
Celebrity Trials, Silencing, and the Spectacle of Misogyny
Letâs talk about what we should be learning from these celebrity court casesâabout abuse, about loyalty, and about truth.
Time and again, we see wo [...]
Seeking Justice: Empowering Survivors through Civil Cases
Cassie, an American singer, recently made headlines when news broke out that she was suing her longtime music mentor and boyfriend, Sean "Diddy" Combs [...]
I Wish You No HarmâBut This Doesnât Work for Me: The Truth About Womenâs Boundaries
There is this strange, deeply embedded belief that in order for a woman or girl to be considered a "good person" she must sacrifice her safety for men [...]
“Why Didn’t She Fight Back?”
 I like how Apple Tree Yard explains it. The character seems to be speaking a language that he understands. Clearly.[...]
The Resistance of Celia: The Enslaved Black Girl Who Fought Back
updated for 2025
Celiaâs name should be spoken not just as a victim, but as a woman who resisted, who fought for her dignity when no one else would.
[...]
Why Moral Clarity Still Matters: Remembering the Victims of Jeffrey Dahmer
Connecting with political allies is harder than people admitâespecially when your foundation is not hate, not outrage for sport, but a c [...]
The Pressure to âBe Niceâ While Male Violence Goes Excused
If ever you have any question about which people in the room are women:It will be the ones in the room pushed to "be nice" or "be kind"
The [...]
How Some Teachers Are on the Frontlines of Fighting Child Sexual Abuse
Did you know that some victims of child sexual abuse prefer to confide in teachers rather than parents? Even those from "good" loving homes? No one [...]
Courtney Stoddenâs Lifetime Movie Exposes the Public Grooming of a Child Brideâand the Cruelty of Celebrity Culture
I wasn't deeply familiar with this young woman prior to watching the Lifetime movie. I'm a bit out of her target age range. But being a teenager and t [...]
Jingle Bells Too: When People Pretend the Story Ended at âSlavery Endedâ
This isn't about a song but like most art, it offers life lessons.Jingle Bellsâ was written in 1857 by James Lord Pierpont, a white composer who w [...]
When Belonging Breaks: Surviving in Truth When Cultures Defends Abusers
I get when some groups defend some aspects of abusers. I've slipped (more than once) and done it too. I'm a human.I still have a duty to push bac [...]
They Got So Much Things To Say Right Now (But hereâs what Survivors actually need to hear.)
When a domestic violence Survivor speaks out, everyone suddenly has something to say.âShe shouldâve left.ââWhy didnât she tell anyone?ââWhat did [...]
Women Built These Spaces: 20 Historical Reasons Single-Sex Spaces Exist
Women have historically organized around power differently. Again and again, women have sought power to create refuge rather than conquest, safety rat [...]
The 5 Motivations of a Victim Shamer
A call-in to those ready to grow past it.
We donât arrive in this world knowing how to shame Survivors.It is something we are taught.It is something [...]
Why Leaders Who Excuse Abuse Canât Build SafetyâThey Recreate Harm
When someone dismisses violence, mocks Survivors, or excuses abuse, theyâre not neutral.
Theyâre signaling the kind of safety they intend to buildâon [...]
𧨠Myth: “Abuse Survivors Are Just Broken People Who Pick Bad Partners”
Truth: No, they are not.[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
This oneâs personal. This oneâs painful. And this one gets repeated far too oftenâin whispers, on podc [...]
She Didn’t Need Better Boundaries. She Needed Him to Respect Them.
One of the best docuseries that I have seen about "forced interaction" resulting in prolonged stalking is the Hulu docuseries Stalking [...]
.png "To Catch Rapists You Have to Listen to Victims")
The Numbers Do Not Lie, So Stop Asking Women to Accept Less Safety (UPDATE)
Organizations around the world have been distracted. Consumed with chastising women and pushing us to "be kind". Silencing us. De-platforming [...]