✨ When Male Gentleness Is Assumed: Expanding Our Ears, Expanding Our Understanding
updated from December 11 2025
Myth: Straight men are the only danger to women.
**Shayla told me about the male relative she grew up with who was a d [...]
7 Devastating Truths About the Atrocities Facing Women and Girls in Sudan (and Why the World Must Not Look Away)
Women and girls in Sudan are facing unspeakable violence—sexual violence used as a weapon of war, mass displacement, and ethnic cleansing. These are n [...]
“Why Are Women Still Told to Have Faith in Men Who ‘Rebrand’ Themselves?”
“If his change requires your suffering to prove it, it isn’t change — it’s another performance.”
— WeSurviveAbuse.com
Somehow, we allowed ourselve [...]
Part 2: Why I Resist Diluted Language
But self-knowledgeBut self-knowledgeThe reason I refuse diluted language is because I have watched institutions dilute women's experiences f [...]
“She Was No Angel” — But What If She Was Hurting?
People say it like a verdict.
“She was no angel.”
But I’ve sat across from women others were quick to throw away. Once they started speaking and t [...]
Courtney Stodden’s Lifetime Movie Exposes the Public Grooming of a Child Bride—and the Cruelty of Celebrity Culture
I wasn't deeply familiar with this young woman prior to watching the Lifetime movie. I'm a bit out of her target age range. But being a teenager and t [...]
Respect Without Surrender: When Rights Don’t Mean Access
The Foundation of True Respect
Respect is not ownership.And justice does not mean surrender.
We live in a world that often confuses access with equa [...]
When They Say ‘All Women,’ Listen Closely to Who Is Missing with Reflecting Questions
Because clarity is how women find themselves againwhen the world keeps speaking fluently in half-truths.
There is a kind of languag [...]
Until This Country Reckons with How It Treats Black People, It Will Never Heal Its Violence
Until this country reckons with how it treats Black people—how its systems treat Black people—how it still treats Black women carrying chronic illness [...]
🔥 The Price of Loyalty to the Lie
Some silence isn’t ignorance. It’s allegiance.
There are women who didn’t know.There are women who didn’t see.There are women who were misled, manipu [...]
Why We Teach Girls to Approach Women First
Because safety isn’t about luck — it’s about strategy. In July 2017, a 14-year-old girl was raped twice in one night.The first attack happened [...]
Her Name Was Nicole Beverly
And she should still be here, holding her son.
Nicole Beverly was a Black mother of four living in Detroit. She was soft-spoken, nurturing, and trust [...]
🚫 STOP ASKING US TO GET USED TO BEING HARMED
People don’t listen to women and children.
Not when we whisper.Not when we scream.Not even when we show up with a mountain of evidence, hospital re [...]
The Manipulative Power of Changing Language
Her: I need a protective order.
Judge: Did he actually say that he would kill you?
Her: Well....no but he said,
"That's okay I will take [...]
🕯️ For Those Who Never Reported: We See You
There are so many reasons Survivors don’t report.And not one of them makes your story less true.
Some of you were children, trying to survive another [...]
Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 1
I watched "Cosby: The Women Speak."
Actually, I recorded it.
This way, if I was triggered, I could watch it another time [...]
🔊 The Right to Speak: What a Difference a Voice Makes
Updated for 2025 Silence
“You have the right to remain silent.”
I first heard that phrase in my 8th grade Civics class during the lesson on Miran [...]
Women, Justice, and Mercy: A Call for Compassion in Incarceration
In the United States, a presidential executive order is ordering males out of women's federal prisons. Some people who were completely deaf [...]
Why Women’s Rights Vary by State—and Men’s Don’t: A Breakdown of Legal Inequality in America
Do you see all this debate over "women's spaces" and NONE over men's spaces?
There’s a line from a 1976 film that still echoes today: “I [...]
A Brief Timeline: Marital Rape Laws in the West
A tremendous amount of work went into giving spouses legal recourse if they are assaulted by their spouse. Prior to this work, you couldn't even bring [...]
5 Reasons Why the Silence Around Abuse Isn't Golden
They say "silence is golden". No, it isn't, it's tarnished and rusty on the edges. At least when it comes to abuse it is.Allow m [...]
.png "What To Remember When You Check on Your Stong Friend Who Was Assaulted")
What To Remember When You Check on Your Stong Friend Who Was Assaulted
It is incredibly difficult to share with someone that you know. "I was abused.""I was victimized.""I was attacked.""I was assaulted." [...]
The Cost of Agreeability: How We Uphold the Barriers We Think We Are Fighting
I've served the women who responded to violence and were facing harsher punishment than any man would have for the same crime. No one was willing to h [...]
I Wish You No Harm—But This Doesn’t Work for Me: The Truth About Women’s Boundaries
There is this strange, deeply embedded belief that in order for a woman or girl to be considered a "good person" she must sacrifice her safety for men [...]
✋🏽 When Accountability Feels Like an Attack to Him
[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Some men don’t fear the harm they cause.They fear the moment a woman finally says,“You will not harm me anymore.”
This is perpe [...]
Self-Abandonment: How Survivors Can Come Home to Themselves
Self-abandonment is one of the most overlooked consequences of surviving abuse, harassment, or assault.It’s what happens when you learn—often in order [...]
The Hidden Role of Women in Child Exploitation: Kenya’s “Madams”
SELF CARE ALERT This one minute clip is difficult to watch. Please take care of yourself. "They’re still children, so it’s easy to manipu [...]
Black Women: Unshakable, Unstoppable, Undeniable
When people build entire campaigns against you, they recognize your power even if YOU do not.
Black womanhood has never been up for debate. It has ne [...]
🧬 Hope’s Name Was No Coincidence: How One Woman’s Tragic Murder Changed Forensic History
[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Her name was Hope Denise Hall.And in life, she embodied it.In death, she redefined it. 🎙️ Who Was Hope?
Hope was a 22-year [...]
Don’t Ignore the History and Connection of Accountability Evasion in Violence, Abuse, and Racism (w/ podcast episode)
So we have reached the place where the n-word is actually Black American people's fault. And that is part of the cycle of harm. Evading accountability [...]
Safe Father Figures: 5 Powerful Ways to Help Protect Children from Sexual Abuse
In a world where too many children face harm in silence, safe father figures—biological, step, chosen, or community-based—can be a powerful sh [...]
How We Are Getting Played by Rapists & Abusers
Updated from 7/1/15The Pied PiperWhen I was a kid, there was a "children's story" that scared me to death.The Pied Piper was a story based o [...]
The Healing Isn’t in the Headlines. It’s in the Listening
There is a rhythm that the media loves:Shock. Outrage. Silence.A Survivor comes forward.The story catches fire.It lands in headlines, hashtags, and tr [...]
The Book I Avoided—Until I Couldn’t Anymore
By a Survivor Who Now Understands Why the Caged Bird Sings
I’ve always been a voracious reader.
Since as far back as I can remember, my mother [...]
No, Feminists Didn’t “Give Up a Happy Home.” We Fought to Escape a Cage
And the walls of that cage were built with silence, shame, and sanctioned suffering.
There’s a dangerous myth floating around like perfum [...]
Fire Test: When You Ask Women to Support Violence
You are sending forth aspiring leaders who have no history of standing against violence, no record of defending women or children,
no evidence [...]
🌿 Faith, Healing, and the Work of Safe People
People who support Survivors—from all walks of life—should know this:
many Survivors are people of faith. Not all. But many. Some draw stre [...]
“Why All Women Deserve to Be Heard When Speaking About Violence and Abuse—Not Just the Powerful”
For many men, all of life is a measuring contest.Who has more. Who is stronger. Who commands the most followers, the highest salary, the biggest pla [...]
The Faux Fight Against Child Sex Abuse
Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the ban [...]
Survivor Q & A: What Do You Mean by “Sacred Castes” in Violence & Abuse? (video)
updated 2025
Below are 10 signs of a “sacred caste”—a group, ideology, or identity that becomes exempt from criticism, even when doing harm [...]