The Unseen Burden: Black Eldest Daughters and the Weight of Expectations
In many Black families, eldest daughters are celebrated as leaders, protectors, and role models. But behind that honor often lies a heavy, unspoken [...]
Catholic Abuse Crisis Isn’t Over: The Urgent Need to Keep Listening to Victims
For decades, Survivors of child sexual abuse within the Catholic Church have bravely stepped forward—risking everything to tell the truth. Their testi [...]
I Will Survive: How Survivor Gloria Gaynor Keeps Inspiring Decades After the Release of Grammy Winning Song
originally published 2/8/ 2016At First I Was Afraid... When we have been wounded we must heal. To do that, I think we all use a combination of&n [...]
What FGM and “Gender-Critical” Child Medicalization Have in Common
In the work of protecting children, hard truths often sit at the intersection of culture, medicine, and power. And in that intersection, those of us w [...]
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Scouts Honor: The Secret Files of Boy Scouts of America is on Netflix
This is another MUST-SEE!From this storytelling perspective we can see: Avoidance & discouragement of parental notificati [...]
The Resistance of Celia: The Enslaved Black Girl Who Fought Back
updated for 2025
Celia’s name should be spoken not just as a victim, but as a woman who resisted, who fought for her dignity when no one else would.
[...]
The Truth About Catfishing: It’s Not Harmless. It’s Harm.
Catfishing isn’t just a little lie or a “lonely person trying to connect.” It’s deception wrapped in manipulation.
People build entire false identiti [...]
The Manipulative Power of Changing Language
Her: I need a protective order.
Judge: Did he actually say that he would kill you?
Her: Well....no but he said,
"That's okay I will take [...]
Manhood Won’t Shatter If We Tell the Truth
There are men who prey on men. Go ahead and get the gasp out of the way.
Because this seems to be a truth everybody sees but is afraid to say out lou [...]
Why Do Men Kill Women?
“When the truth is too loud to ignore, the world calls it discomfort. We call it survival.”
Why do men kill women?
Too often, it’s not because o [...]
20 Common Misconceptions About When and Why Survivors “Should Be Over the Pain”
Our nervous system doesn't comprehend "forgive & forget."
We can try to not think about trauma that happened to us-- but then we end up feelin [...]
Minimizing Chronic Pain Can Be Dangerous and Deadly (impactful Tiktok video story)
Pain hurts in a way that words fail.Pain doesn’t announce itself politely.It arrives like weather—uninvited, undeniable, and immune to reason. [...]
Organizations Endorsing Sexualizing Children: World Health Organization
We no longer have time to be shocked, surprised, and astonished. Once reliable organizations that could be depended upon are blatantly and [...]
🔥 When They Take It All Back: Why Some Survivors Recant
Updated for WeSurviveAbuse.com, 2025
Let’s return to this uncomfortable truth: when victims of sexual violence recant, it is often not because th [...]
✋🏽 When Accountability Feels Like an Attack to Him
[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Some men don’t fear the harm they cause.They fear the moment a woman finally says,“You will not harm me anymore.”
This is perpe [...]
Black Women: Unshakable, Unstoppable, Undeniable
When people build entire campaigns against you, they recognize your power even if YOU do not.
Black womanhood has never been up for debate. It has ne [...]
✨ When Male Gentleness Is Assumed: Expanding Our Ears, Expanding Our Understanding
updated from December 11 2025
Myth: Straight men are the only danger to women.
**Shayla told me about the male relative she grew up with who was a d [...]
You May Think He Was Misunderstood—But What He Did Was Evil
And the damage may last for lifetimes.
We live in a world where the predator’s pain often gets more airtime than the Survivor’s truth.
He had a roug [...]
The One Question Every Parent of a Girl Must Ask Themselves
Memory Lane (2000's) “No!” “Nobody kisses me! Except my mother, my Grammy, my Aunt Kisha, my LaLa, my Nanny, my Dada, my Gma,” (and the list went [...]
When the Harm Comes from Another Child: Why We Must Take Intra-Child Sexual Abuse Seriously
Updated from Oct 2016.....
Sexual violence at the hands of children is just as destructive as any violation by an adult.It’s hard being th [...]
Best Books on Surviving Violence and Abuse, So Far: Black History Month Edition
What books have you read that you would have included in this edition? [...]
The Hidden Role of Women in Child Exploitation: Kenya’s “Madams”
SELF CARE ALERTThis one minute clip is difficult to watch. Please take care of yourself."They’re still children, so it’s easy to manipu [...]
Missing Black Girls: Still Invisible
How dare you make laws and policies that make our girls less safe!-Tonya GJ PrinceEvery single year, thousands of Black girls vanish from our comm [...]
The Economist: Why Nations that Fail Women FAIL
Please do not watch this pretend that the West is exempt or any political party is "different". It is 2025 and no group of males is doing well at list [...]
Stay Out of Her Healing, You Weren’t There.
This is not about whether you think she was right or wrong.This is not about your definition of accountability.This is not about your fantasy version [...]
Letter from an Angry Survivor of Sexual Violence about this Bill Cosby Tragedy
7/7/2015Tonight I am angry.
That isn't my default setting though. Usually, I smile so much that I have to consciously tell myself not to d [...]
UPDATE: How Good Parents Miss Child Sexual Abuse and 5 Questions to Change That
Update: I published this during the summer months (2015). It spread across quite a few websites and I got a great deal of positive feedback. [...]
Why We Must Stop Centering Discomfort Over Male-on-Male Sexual Violence
When a male accuses another male of sexual harassment or assault, what do we often hear first?“The worst part is people are going to call him ga [...]
Safe Father Figures: 5 Powerful Ways to Help Protect Children from Sexual Abuse
In a world where too many children face harm in silence, safe father figures—biological, step, chosen, or community-based—can be a powerful sh [...]
🛑 Summer Safety Alert: Predators Count on Your Distractions—Don’t Let Them
Yes, it’s summer again.
And while many of us are focused on camps, cookouts, rest, and routine changes—some people are focused on y [...]
Sad But True Little Known Facts About Women in Prison
It is only by the grace of God that every female Survivor of abuse is not in prison, suffering more abuse and violence at the hands of men. Again.
[...]
Women Deserve Privacy, Safety, and Respect—Especially in Campus Athletics
Across campuses, colleges have a duty: to protect all students.
That includes the right to privacy, safety, and dignity—especially for young women [...]
The Right to Say “NO” is Mine: Youth Edition (video)
Same Game, Different Day: Violating Women's and Children's Rights | WE Survive AbuseIsn't It Refreshing When a Man "Gets It"? | WE Survive AbuseSurviv [...]
🚨 When Power Imbalances Are Ignored—and Victims Get Hurt
In schools, faith communities, workplaces, and even families, efforts to keep the peace often ignore the power imbalance between abusers and Survivors [...]
No Gratitude, No Quilt: A Lesson from My Mama (and a Little Fried Chicken)
*Updated for 2025Several months ago, my mom asked me to pick up some hair accessories like the ones she saw me wearing. Naturally, I did.
B [...]
We Called It Rape Culture for a Reason. And That Reason Still Exists
There was a time when we named things clearly.
We called it rape culture.
Not to be provocative. Not to shock. Not to divide.
But to survive.
We u [...]
How People Lose Themselves: One Compromise at a Time
We don't do any of ourselves any favors when we believe that coercion, abuse, and loss of rights happen to "stupid or weak people".
People in abusive [...]
Lessons from Survivor Jenifer Lewis on Overcoming Shame (videos)
As incredibly talented as she is, Jenifer Lewis is also a teacher! She is a teacher to all who struggle with mental illness, racism, sexism, and ab [...]
How Some Teachers Are on the Frontlines of Fighting Child Sexual Abuse
Did you know that some victims of child sexual abuse prefer to confide in teachers rather than parents? Even those from "good" loving homes? No one [...]
Why Don’t We Talk About Black Men Who Survived Childhood Abuse?
There are stories we rarely let breathe.The stories of Black men who were once Black boys — hurt, silenced, told to “man up,” told t [...]
Friendly Fire: Why Are Women Funding Their Own Erasure?
Tell me who I have to be to gain some reciprocity.... Ms. Lauryn HillAs kids, we used to complain about the guy who pulled our braids. [...]
They Weren’t Just Controlling—They Were Consuming
Survivors often face: the coercion to disappear inside someone else’s reflection.
Some people weren’t looking for love.They were looking for someon [...]
Dear Survivors: Being Heard Was Never the Same as Being Believed
The silencing of survivors has never meant the absence of knowledge. It has meant control of the story.For generations, the loudest voices describ [...]
Your Body Knows the Truth: Letting Survivors Define Abuse and Violation
You are seen. You are heard.
Survivors are speaking in this moment.And when they speak, something important shifts.
Not toward labels.
Not toward d [...]
A Letter to the Young Me Who Didn’t Know She Was Magic Yet
You were never too much.You were never asking for too much.You were never dreaming too loud, loving too hard, feeling too deep.
I know people made yo [...]
If We Were Better We Would Be Prioritizing Silenced Children And Not Grown Men
This is how the rest of us end up in therapy for yearssss. Dealing with people who run to console, protect, and shield grown sturdy men and not hurtin [...]
Sexual Violence Against Black Males: No Video, No Witnesses, and It IS Killing Them
updated from original post on 12/15/2015So last night I Twitter watched one of my favorite shows. A true crime show. You c [...]
When Older Women Are Told to Give Until It Hurts
The internet will have you believe something very simple and very cruel, and in my view, is rooted in misogyny:If younger people cut you off, it m [...]
Tammi Terrell’s Story Reminds Us That Survival Is More Than Staying Alive
When people speak about Tammi Terrell, they often begin with how young she was when she died.
Twenty-four.
They talk about the brain [...]
The Eye of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor: A Black Man Takes the Mic
It is my honor to highlight the words of author Tremayne Moore as he courageously shares his story and offers advice for healing: Hi. My n [...]
🕯️ For Those Who Never Reported: We See You
There are so many reasons Survivors don’t report.And not one of them makes your story less true.
Some of you were children, trying to survive another [...]
“The Forgive and Overlook Habit”: Why the Crisis of Child Predators Isn’t Going Anywhere
The crisis of child predators isn’t going anywhere. Unless the adults change our harmful ways and change them right away.
Because the pressure has al [...]
The Faux Fight Against Child Sex Abuse
Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the ban [...]
The Book I Avoided—Until I Couldn’t Anymore
By a Survivor Who Now Understands Why the Caged Bird Sings
I’ve always been a voracious reader.
Since as far back as I can remember, my mother [...]
When the Mask Matters More Than the Truth, Survivors Are Pushed to Disappear
There is a reason people cling so tightly to labels when harm is exposed.
Often, it is not confusion.
It is fear.Fear of admitting they were mis [...]
⚠️ Trigger Warning: Child Sexual Abuse, Victim-Blaming
Updated for 2025Updated from 2016: I was watching one of my favorite shows—Greenleaf on OWN. If you’ve ever watched it, you know [...]
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Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 2
Original post 9/23/15 7. Every choice that you ever made (sexually) is scrutinized. They have questions.
Q: How many i [...]
6 Smart Tactics to Help Survivors Strengthen Confidence
People who have been abused often struggle with self-doubt. Yeah. You can put up a tough exterior for everyone else. Some days you can even [...]
Please Stop Signaling Support to Grown Men Accused of Harming Children
Start Showing Up for the People Who Need It Most
When someone is arrested for harming a child,we do not need adults jumping online or into rooms to s [...]
Hate Makes the Mind Small: Freedom Lives in Openness
Hateful people say, "So you all are just these magical people walking around knowing everything hunh."
Sometimes...... we do not have the w [...]
IF “We” Are Standing Against the Killing of Children, Women Would Like to See That Principle Everywhere
Sometimes men speak as though women are surprised when men take a strong moral position about the death of children, particularly in conversations abo [...]
When They Blame You for Asking, Then Blame You for Fixing It Yourself
The Trap in Toxic Relationships and Systems
"Fine. I will do it myself." Ancient Black women's proverb.
At first, she thought the pr [...]
8 Phrases of Comfort Parents Can Communicate to Children to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse
So every night my mother would come to tuck me in at night. Every night without fail. And every night without fail, this would happen [...]