Her VOICE is Terrifying But Not His Violence?
Some men (and women) don’t define harm as what they’ve done.They define harm as a woman’s refusal to keep quiet about it.
In this upside-down worldvi [...]
Your Self-Righteousness Will Not End Domestic Violence
So you were “right.”You “saw the signs.”You “told her he wasn’t good.”You “would’ve left sooner.”You “would never let that happen to you.”
But here’s [...]
🛑 We don’t negotiate safety
⚖️ Some Things Are Black and White
Yes means safety.No means protection.
Clear, certain, unapologetic boundaries are not cruelty.They are care—espec [...]
Woman You Are Already Enough: A Reminder from Fannie Lou Hamer
In a world where women — especially minoritized women, poor women, disabled women, elder women, and other marginalized women all over the globe — ha [...]
When “Nothing Will Happen” Isn’t a Safety Plan: Asking About Real Safeguards
“If your confidence turns out to be misplaced, what protections exist for the people expected to absorb the consequences?”When certainty replaces [...]
Courtney Stodden’s Lifetime Movie Exposes the Public Grooming of a Child Bride—and the Cruelty of Celebrity Culture
I wasn't deeply familiar with this young woman prior to watching the Lifetime movie. I'm a bit out of her target age range. But being a teenager and t [...]
Reshona Landfair: Jane Doe in R. Kelly’s sex tape reclaims name and shares her story
Adults. Adults can either create safety or harm. We play a hand in upholding abusers and harmers of children. A larger part than we want to admit. [...]
Austin Wolfe Sentencing: What It Means for Survivors, Justice, and the Black Gay Community (w/audio)
The news of Austin Wolfe’s sentencing has landed heavily. Once a visible figure in the adult entertainment industry, he now faces the consequences o [...]
Leadership Failure: How Leaders Are Failing Women Who Ask for Safety
When Women Say, “I Don’t Feel Safe”
That’s not a threat.It’s an invitation to build something better.
But when leaders double down on silencing in [...]
Calling Women “Hateful” for Wanting Safety Is Abuse Dressed in Decorum
Let’s name this for what it is:
When politicians, media figures, or public influencers call women “hateful” for expressing concerns about our safet [...]
When Identity Becomes a Shield: Who We Protect When We Pretend Everyone Is Treated Equal
The Lie We Tell to Stay Comfortable
People say:“Rape is rape, it doesn’t matter who did it.”But that has never been true in practice.[...]
If the Harm Is Precise, Our Words Must Be Precise
I see you. You see me. We see one another.
There are groups who are targeted because of who they are — yet the moment they try to name that truth, pe [...]
When “Woman Is a Feeling” Becomes Another Way to Erase Us
When People Say “Woman Is a Feeling,” Something Important Disappears
We know that we were not born to give men feelings. We were made for so much mor [...]
Rosa Ingram’s Unyielding Courage: How Her Family’s Struggle for Justice Changed History
A Mother. A Defense. A Jim Crow Injustice.
The story of Rosa Ingram and her two teenage sons, Haywood and George, is one of the most heartb [...]
✋🏽 When Accountability Feels Like an Attack to Him
[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Some men don’t fear the harm they cause.They fear the moment a woman finally says,“You will not harm me anymore.”
This is perpe [...]
#IAmJada: She Spoke Fire Back Into Her Name
They called it scandal.
But it was sacrifice.
A young girl’s truth laid bare
on the altar of a watching world.They tried to make her shame [...]
HE Chose Violence
Blaming women is the usual default setting but if a man is violent, let’s put the blame where it belongs.
Because too many conversations around abus [...]
When One Gets Through, Others Follow: The Open Door Metaphor in Abuse
There’s a pattern in abuse that doesn’t get talked about enough. Not in training rooms. Not in courtrooms. Not even in some support groups. But Surv [...]
✊🏾 Women Deserve Safety Without Apology
It is not hateful to name a reality:The same laws that allow trans-identified males to enter women’s spaces also open the door for any man—including [...]
The Algorithms Are Watching Him, Too: When Coercive Control Targets Men and Boys
Shame is a prison. Silence is the lock. Technology is the new weapon.
There’s a myth that keeps far too many men trapped:“If you’re a man, it’s not a [...]
You Can Be Inclusive Without Abandoning Girls, Women, or Survivors
Inclusion should never come at the cost of someone else’s safety.
But lately, women and Survivors are being told to prove our goodness by staying sil [...]
Aesthetic Gatekeeping: You Are Not Here for Their Approval Ratings
Let’s talk about one of the oldest games in the patriarchy playbook—and baby, it’s still being played in 4K, HD, and every group chat:Aesthetic Gateke [...]
The Real Exclusion Happens When We Refuse to Face the Truth: Male on Male Violence
It is not women who are being exclusionary when we protect our spaces.It is not women who are the barrier to real, lasting change.
When people refuse [...]
The Unseen Cage: What Coercive Control Really Looks Like
Because not all abuse leaves bruises—but it can still steal your freedom.
Some cages are invisible.No bars.No bruises.Just a tightening around your [...]
🚨 Pregnancy Shouldn’t Be a Death Sentence
Let’s tell the truth—pregnancy should never be a death sentence.
But in the United States, the leading cause of death for pregnant and postpartum w [...]
How Abusers and Systems Use “You Have It Good” to Normalize Deprivation
Gratitude is something I practice as a core part of my healing.
But all good things can be misused.
This is not a call for gratitude.
This is contr [...]
The “Helper” Mandate is Hurting Us
It whispers to Black people—especially Black women —that we are here to help.To soothe.To teach.To forgive.To make the world softer for others, even w [...]
Collusion Without Conversation: The Code of Abuse
They’ve never met.
Different backgrounds.Different languages.Different cultures.Different religions.Some in suits, some in uniforms, some behind pulp [...]
Why Do Men Kill Women?
“When the truth is too loud to ignore, the world calls it discomfort. We call it survival.”
Why do men kill women?
Too often, it’s not because o [...]
🎯 Pattern Denial: The Sinister Art of Pretending Not to Know
Some truths are not too complex to understand—they're just too inconvenient to admit.
Even toddlers can identify patterns. I once babysat a precious [...]
Stop the Ahistorical Comparison: Jim Crow Was Violent, Girls’ Sports Does Not Have To Be
This is so cruel.
There’s a new talking point going around:That not allowing boys to compete against girls in sports is somehow the same as Jim Crow [...]
🎶 Playlist: Songs That Speak the Truth — Domestic Violence & Survival
Sometimes music is the only thing brave enough to say what we’ve been through.
This playlist brings together 11 songs across R&B, soul, pop, and [...]