What “Just Say No” Taught Us About False Solutions
There was a time when America believed a slogan could solve a crisis.
The Just Say No campaign told people:
Just say no to drugs.
Simple. Clear. Re [...]
The End of Tolerating Anti-Female B.S.
In order to end prejudice against people born female, we have to call it out using clear and precise language: Male Violence Male violence agai [...]
Why Does the Racist Masculinization of Women Obligate Us to Fight for Others—But Not the Other Way Around?
Remember when you were little and another kid hit you. Maybe you yelled back at the other kid. The adults would overhear the commotion and make both [...]
No One Hands Women Safety. We Claim It, Protect It, and Pass It Forward.
I'm sorry. People talk as if women’s safety is something governments eventually “figure out,” like a policy glitch that just needs an update. Hi [...]
This Isn’t “Just Drama.” This Is Coercive Sex Trafficking
There is a deep and dangerous misunderstanding about the case involving Sean Combs and what it means to traffic someone through coercion. So let’s m [...]
I Hit Him Back. The Survey Called It “Mutual Abuse.” Here’s Why That Logic Destroyed Me.
If you are a Black person, you know what it is like when the "both sides" playbook is used against you. You know what it is like to be pushed to be si [...]
When Women’s Murders Are Hijacked: How Race, Politics, and Silence Derail the Fight Against Male Violence
Too often, when a woman is murdered, the conversation shifts quickly away from her life, her safety, and the systemic failures that left her vulnera [...]
Stop Recasting Boundaries as Ignorance
With all my heart and soul I hate when men do this,
Too often, when women say “no”—especially in conversations about safety, space, and [...]
Who Protects the Women Whose Stories Don’t Trend
The work of women's safety, women's rights, women's liberation and women's healing is not a music and entertainment battle. When our movements turn [...]
✂️ Unlearning the Lie: When “Being a Good Person” Means Upholding Harm
Some of us were taught that being a “good person” meant keeping quiet.Smoothing things over.Soften the blow.Protect their reputation.Look the other wa [...]
When They Don’t See You as a Person, They Don’t Protect You as One
The objectification of Black people doesn’t stay on screen.It follows us into courtrooms, hospitals, shelters, and survivor services—places where safe [...]
Silencing Is Always the First Strike
Survivors of violence—whether in war zones or in personal life—often face silencing first.
Before the bruise,before the strike,before the world sees [...]
They Got So Much Things To Say Right Now (But here’s what Survivors actually need to hear.)
When a domestic violence Survivor speaks out, everyone suddenly has something to say. “She should’ve left.”“Why didn’t she tell anyone?”“What did [...]
Kenyan Women Refuse to Be Silenced: The Fight for Safety, Dignity, and Justice
There is a roaring fire rising across Kenya—lit by the courage of women who are tired of living in silence, tired of grieving alone, and tired of sy [...]
12 Things Men Say “I’m Not Worried About” — While Treating Women’s Concerns as Silly
Men love to say it with a shrug, a smirk, sometimes even a laugh: “I’m not worried about that.”
The arrogance in that statement is thick enough to [...]
She Never Saw It Coming: The Danger of Assuming a Man Will Take Care of You for a Lifetime
No woman envisions herself needing the services of a domestic violence or rape advocate. No woman walks into a marriage or long-term relationship expe [...]
Why Body Safety for Black Women Must Include Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Reproductive Justice: Honoring Adriana Smith
When we talk about Adriana Smith, especially online, we must remember: people around the world are entering this conversation from vastly different [...]
The Crucial Role of Responsible Media Reporting on Violence Against Women
Violence against women is an endemic issue that plagues societies worldwide, perpetuating gender inequalities and undermining women's rights. Whi [...]
Motherhood in the Shadow of Violence
Motherhood has often been romanticized in myths and sentiment, yet the brutal reality remains: for many women, pregnancy and early motherhood are hig [...]
Unlearning Loyalty to Those Who Ask You to Lie
“Power borrowed from fear never lasts"
There comes a time when your soul grows too heavy to carry the weight of someone else's lies.
At first, i [...]
12 Quiet Ways Self-Abandonment Shows Up
(And How to Come Home to Yourself)
Self-abandonment isn’t always loud. It often slips in quietly, disguised as being “easygoing,” “low maintenance,” [...]
What FGM and “Gender-Critical” Child Medicalization Have in Common
In the work of protecting children, hard truths often sit at the intersection of culture, medicine, and power. And in that intersection, those of us w [...]
Twelve Steps to Danger: How Alcoholics Anonymous Can Be a Playground for Violence-Prone Members (from ProPublica)
Karla Brada Mendez thought that she was getting a second chance on life when she started going to AA meetings. But instead she met Eric Allen Earle, a [...]
International Holocaust Remembrance Day: Violence Against Women in the Holocaust
I'm not always certain what the "right thing" to say on important days like these.
Painful days. Excruciatingly painful days that ripple [...]
“She Wasn’t Told He Killed Before: The Tragic Workplace Murder of Kerri Harris and the Warning Signs We Can’t Ignore”
Women are significantly more likely to be victims of stalking.
Approximately 1 in 3 women have experienced stalking at some point in thei [...]
When a Woman Is Talking About Risk Are We Busy Handing Out Character References?
The women and children who society listens to the least, suffer the most intense, torturous, and excruciating harm.
There is a pattern that k [...]
Our Safety Isn’t a Punchline: Standing Strong Against Ridicule
Women’s safety isn’t a joke. Ain't a damn thing "funny" about it. Yet, whenever we gather the courage to openly discuss our unique safety chall [...]
Familiarity Doesn’t Make Stranger Abuse Irrelevant
There’s a manipulation tactic that keeps slipping into our public conversations—one that says: “Most people are abused by someone they know… so [...]
From Koketia King to Lisa Marie Riley: The Danger Didn’t End. It Just Changed Addresses.
In 2010, Florida boxer Yathomas Riley was arrested after his then-girlfriend, Koketia King, was shot in the head inside his Miami apartment.Riley clai [...]
Only 2% “Owned” Slaves?” The Dangerous Game of Subtracting Context
We’ve all heard it: “Only 2% of white people "owned" slaves.”It’s a talking point tossed around to downplay history. But here’s the truth: it’s not th [...]
When It’s Not Pride: 11 Ways Violence Against Black Women Hides Behind “Black Pride”
We lift up Black pride as sacred—a celebration of survival, brilliance, resilience, and the sacredness of our people. But pride without protection? [...]
🧨 Selective Empathy: Who Gets Compassion—and Who Gets Condemned
⚖️ "But His Parents Divorced..."
As an advocate for victims of violence, abuse, and rape; I’ve sat in enough courtrooms to know this:When a white def [...]
It’s Not About What You Told Her. It’s About What She Can Teach You.
So many rush to say: “I told her.”“She didn’t listen.”“She should’ve known better.” But this isn’t the moment to center your predictions—It’ [...]
A Society That Centers Harmful Males Will Never Have Trust—And It Doesn’t Deserve It
Trust is not a gift.Trust is built.Earned.Sustained through action, protection, and accountability.
But what happens when a society builds its laws [...]
Red Flags in Relationships: Recognizing Silent Signals of Control
updated from January 12 2025 Here is when I knew.
I was riding in the car with my date. Our first date.
He picked me up.
He brought me a si [...]
Women Are Not a Feeling. We Are Not Yours to Define.
There is a dangerous lie being whispered and shouted in this world:That a woman is a feeling.That our existence—our lives, our flesh, our blood, our [...]
Complacency Around Violence and Abuse: A longtime foe against women and children
At some point, complacency feels like betrayal. It is exhausting and deeply painful to be a witness to complacency around violence and abuse. C [...]
You Deserve Safety—Even When You’re Just Trying to Keep Going
Some of us were never told that we deserved to feel safe.We were told to keep going.To be strong.To not make a scene.To forgive.To forget. [...]
Her Name Is Mary Turner. Her Story Still Speaks.
We can’t have an honest conversation about why our grandmothers—and their mothers before them—often prescribed silence in the face of pain without ack [...]
Calling Women “Hateful” for Wanting Safety Is Abuse Dressed in Decorum
Let’s name this for what it is:
When politicians, media figures, or public influencers call women “hateful” for expressing concerns about our safet [...]
Betrayal Blindness: The Cost of Ignoring Harm
Betrayal is not always loud. It does not always come with a clear sign or a dramatic confrontation. Sometimes, it comes wrapped in silence, in [...]
In California, Will a Male Mass Shooter Serve His Life Sentence in a Male or Women’s Prison? (upated)
This family is never going to leave my soul I see. I keep cleaning off my PC, but never their family picture. The one with Benny in a suit surrounded [...]
Don’t Say You’re in Our Corner—Fight Like It
“What we’re fighting for is not a privilege. It is a right.” – Fannie Lou Hamer
Don’t say you’re in my corner—fight like it.Don’t post slogans and [...]
‘Playing Victim’: How Racism Silences Black Voices and Blocks True Healing in America
Wherever there is harm—whether domestic violence, sexual violence, stalking, or racism—there is often the same pattern: minimization, denial, and reve [...]
13 Powerful Truths About Womanism: A Pathway to Liberation, Healing, and Community
When people ask why I embrace Womanism, I say this: It tells the whole truth. It acknowledges what many of us already know in our bones—our survival [...]
She Knows What He’s Capable Of—Do You?
Why doesn't she leave?
Because domestic abuse is not a disagreement. It’s a terror campaign.
Because domestic abuse isn’t a disagreement.It’s a ca [...]
Aesthetic Gatekeeping: You Are Not Here for Their Approval Ratings
Let’s talk about one of the oldest games in the patriarchy playbook—and baby, it’s still being played in 4K, HD, and every group chat:Aesthetic Gateke [...]
24 Facts About Genocide: How Women Across Generations and Nations Have Been Targeted in Genocide
When a group has been treated as property, their boundaries are never automatically recognized
—they have to be asserted, defended, and reasserted ac [...]
✊🏾 When Policing Women Is Mistaken for Protecting Women
“When a woman goes hungry, more than her body suffers — her dignity, her power, her future are all at risk. Food justice is more than feeding; it’s fr [...]
If the Silencing Isn’t for Women or Children… Then Who Is It For?
Silence is powerful.
It can be sacred. Healing. Necessary for rest, prayer, and wisdom.
But when silence is demanded—not chosen—when it’s forced upo [...]
This Is No Time for a Victory Lap: 35 Modern Dangers Women Are Still Being Pushed to Tolerate
Remember that race where the person winning started celebrating ....but forgot to officially cross the finish line and win the race? A [...]
How Changing Language Around Sex is Used to Undermine Women in Courtrooms
We live in an age of shifting language.A time when even the most basic truths—like what it means to be a woman—are being rewritten, not by science or [...]
We Can Tell What Team You’re On
If you're not an advocate for giving violent, manipulative, deceptive, abusive males more rights and protections—Then you need to say that.And sound l [...]
Gynophobia Is Not New—We’ve Just Been Taught to Ignore It
The word gynophobia—meaning fear or hatred of women—has existed for centuries. But while misogyny gets mainstream attention, gynophobia re [...]
The Gish Gallop: When Overload Becomes a Weapon Against Survivors
There’s a tactic that shows up in debates, politics, in online videos, and—far too often—in the lives of Survivors. It’s called the Gish Gallop.
The [...]
Weaponized Moralism: The Silence That Screams
They call it compassion.But only when it protects male access.
They call it justice.But only when women are asked to surrender boundaries.
They call [...]
In Safety-Centered Spaces—Let’s Tell the Truth About Invasion
When it comes to women and girls, invasion looks like:
Forcing male presence into spaces where women go to breathe, to heal, to be safe wit [...]
Deanna’s Law: 12 Systemic Failures That Changed 911 Response
The tragedy of Deanna Cook is a painful, textbook study in how a broken safety net can fail a woman who did everything right. The [...]
Why Women Say ‘Text Me When You Get Home’: The Everyday Safety Steps Men Rarely Think About (video)
Our continued thoughts and condolences to the family and loved ones of Nia Wilson. May she rest in peace and power.
When women say “Text me when you [...]
Imagine How Women Escaping Domestic Violence Feel
Mom, 34, Allegedly Killed by the Father of Her Children During a Custody Swap After the Kids' Christmas Visit
When my home state got a new govern [...]
.png "For Women and Children, Indefinitely Going Along to Get Along is One of the Most Dangerous Strategies in the World")
For Women and Children, Indefinitely Going Along to Get Along is One of the Most Dangerous Strategies in the World
Many of us have had to "go along to get along" for a little while,but pushing for it indefinitely and just "hoping for safety"is d [...]
Leaving Isn’t Just Courage. It’s Conditions.
They tell women:
“If it was bad enough, you would have left.” That sounds like truth. You don't have to be fooled, though. It isn’t. Leaving is [...]
Predators Are Not Always Charismatic—Don’t Be Fooled by the Stereotype
Many people have a picture in their minds of what a predator looks like: charming, confident, manipulative, always in control. But let’s be clear—pred [...]
10 Reasons to Be Outraged about Harvey Marcelin: How the System Protected a Killer Instead of Women
When a man kills three women over his lifetime, the system did not just fail once. It failed over and over. It was designed this way. Not all [...]
Your Self-Righteousness Will Not End Domestic Violence
So you were “right.”You “saw the signs.”You “told her he wasn’t good.”You “would’ve left sooner.”You “would never let that happen to you.”
But here’s [...]
🏛️ What Rural Women Need from Policymakers
My professional advocacy work in domestic and sexual violence began in racially and economically diverse rural areas.
Rural women experiencing dom [...]
Do Not Throw “Studies” in Our Face
Women know this story all too well:
We raise alarms. We say, this is unsafe, this will hurt us, this will hurt our children. And what do we hear back [...]
Hello: 10 Issues Black Women Have Been Sounding the Alarm About for Decades
Across social media and public conversations, there is a pattern many Black women recognize immediately. When a crisis emerges somewhere in the wor [...]
“Why Do We Treat Male ‘Change’ Like a Sacred Revelation Instead of a Responsibility?”
A man "changes". Why do we women receive this as our "marching orders"? Do men do this? NO. They treat our changes and transformations as our pe [...]
How We Villainize Black Women Who Disagree with Males, Violence, & Abuse: C. Delores Tucker
How We Villainize Black Women Who Disagree with Males C Delores Tucker
updated from March 21 2022 Th [...]
According to Homicide Data, the Most Dangerous State in the US for Black Women is…..
MissouriCelia: How an Enslaved Girl Continues to Inform Black Women's Work to End Violence Against Women | WE Survive AbuseYour Ignorance Around Black [...]
Red Flags: Why Am I Feeling Unseen Here? Clues Survivors Notice First.
To be clear: People are not going to always feel seen. This is a huge planet. We are specifically talking about spaces, and conversations around viole [...]
Exploring the Link Between Enmeshment and Male Violence: Breaking Unhealthy Cycles
"You see one, you see the other."It is so hard to intervene because, by the time people outside of the relationship notice that a co [...]
I uncovered the DARK TRUTH about my grandparents… | The Moth
Growing up, Angela loved spending time with her grandfather who became a widower at a young age. But when he passes, Angela learns the truth about her [...]