5 Ways Women Are the Shock Absorbers of Patriarchy
Women are expected to absorb disrespect quietly, so systems can keep running smoothly.
When men harm, women are often told to forgive, fix, [...]
Reshona Landfair: Jane Doe in R. Kelly’s sex tape reclaims name and shares her story
Adults. Adults can either create safety or harm. We play a hand in upholding abusers and harmers of children. A larger part than we want to admit. [...]
Sexual Violence Against Black Males: No Video, No Witnesses, and It IS Killing Them
updated from original post on 12/15/2015So last night I Twitter watched one of my favorite shows. A true crime show. You c [...]
✊🏾 Since When Did a Man Saying He’s Changed Become a Gospel Truth?
She called me because I was serving as her victim advocate:His family is mad at me and now I'm so confused."He is trying to change but sometim [...]
We Are Not the World’s Dumping Ground: The Sacred Art of Refusing Misplaced Blame
Black women, how much of the world’s weight have you carried today?
How many wounds have you stitched up that weren’t yours? How many fires have yo [...]
The Voices We Don’t Hear Are Still Speaking
In our fast-moving world, where everything from news to justice seems to depend on who has the loudest microphone, I want us to remember something sac [...]
“The Jennifer Melle Case: When Women’s Safety Loses to Male Protection — Even for a Convicted Child Predator”
Nurse Jennifer Melle was doing what few people would want to do: providing care — intimate, necessary, and skillful care — to a male prisoner convicte [...]
Survivor Affirmation: I Honor My Journey and Reclaim My Energy
Anytime you put your time, energy, and heart into something you take a risk. It may not turn out as you had hoped. That part always hurts.Still [...]
Consent Is Not an Afterthought. It Is the First Requirement
from WeSurviveAbuse.com
Let’s make this plain:Consent is not a footnote.It is not a favor.It is not a vibe, a guess, or something you assume [...]
Black Women Have Been Warning You: Fascism Has Always Seen Us as the First to Silence
Black women don’t need a textbook to recognize fascism on this planet.We’ve felt it creeping under the door, showing up in church bulletins, classroom [...]
Before You Can Recognize Safety, Maybe You Need to Know What Safety Feels Like
We spend a lot of time teaching women how to recognize danger. Learn the red flags. Watch for controlling behavior. Notice manipulation. Pay attention [...]
American Violet and the Fight to Remain the Expert on Your Own Life
Control rarely begins with chains. It often begins with convincing people that their own eyes, ears, memory, and judgment cannot be tr [...]
Celebrity Trials, Silencing, and the Spectacle of Misogyny
Let’s talk about what we should be learning from these celebrity court cases—about abuse, about loyalty, and about truth.
Time and again, we see wo [...]
The Fable of the Flame that Would Not Bow: The Importance of Help Seeking Language in Troubled Times
Discouragement is part of the battle. It always has been. But defeatist language can become dangerous when it stops people from seeking help, making p [...]
🔥 We See the Lie. And We Will Not Be Silent.
It is not hateful to say this out loud:
The same laws that allow males to identify into women’s spaces—without any proof, process, or protection—ar [...]
Your ‘No’ Isn’t Treated the Same Everywhere
A long time ago, I dated a guy who facilitated recovery groups because he was a recovering addict. He was a respected professional who develop [...]
10 Common Myths About Grooming (and the Truth Survivors Need to Know)
Grooming is one of the most misunderstood forms of abuse. Many people still believe dangerous myths that downplay the harm or shift blam [...]
What Is Strength (For a Survivor)?
They told us strength meant being hard.Tough. Silent. Unshakable.They told us it meant never falling apart.Never crying.Never walking away.Never sayin [...]
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It is Important to Ask Yourself: Who taught you to downplay the importance of your safety?
Too many of us were conditioned to silence our instincts, ignore our boundaries, and minimize our fears. But that conditioning didn’t come from love—i [...]
🚧 9 Signs You’re Dealing with a Stonewaller
And Why That’s Not Your Fault[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Stonewalling is one of the most soul-draining tactics used in abusive relationships. It’s when so [...]
Sometimes the Lessons From Your Lived Experiences Intimidate Others
This "teacher braiding" conversation speaks to a much larger issue.
The inability to hv conversations
around 'boundaries' without
gutter-low acc [...]
Boundaries Are Sacred: Honoring the Line Between Survival and Self-Betrayal
Boundaries aren’t walls.They’re doors you open for love — and shut to harm.
For too long, women, especially Black women, have been praised for how mu [...]
You Never Know Who’s Listening
You don’t know which of the people around you are living in abusive situations.But they see you.They watch you.They hear you.
They are listening—no [...]
.png "Society’s Failure to Protect Women & Girls in the Locker Room")
Society’s Failure to Protect Women & Girls in the Locker Room
For those of us who have been ringing alarms in recent years....keep speakingFor those who have remained silent, please start speaking and stop ignori [...]
💔 Understanding Marital Rape: Consent Still Matters
In too many parts of the world—and even in the minds of too many people—rape inside of marriage is still not fully recognized as a crime.But here’ [...]
“I Told Her” Is About You—Not the Victim
Let’s talk about it.
When a woman is harmed—physically, emotionally, spiritually—one of the most common things we hear is:“I told her.”“I war [...]
Domestic Violence Is Rising While Survivor Services Are Disappearing: What the Latest Data Reveals
I don’t know if you saw this, but while overall violent crime is reportedly on the decline, domestic violence in the U.S. has actually risen by ab [...]
You Don’t Have to Keep Fighting. You’re Allowed to Heal.
There comes a time when the world will keep handing you more work to do.More injustice to confront.More family pain to resolve.More people to carry. [...]
Creating a Safety Plan: Essential Steps for Protecting Yourself from Stalking and Harassment
When faced with stalking, harassment, or any form of abuse, having a safety plan is a vital step toward reclaiming control and ensuring your well-be [...]
Umoja: Belief as a Source of Strength, Not Control
Umoja is a
Kiswahili word
that means "unity"
Your beliefs—whether they come from religion, personal values, or life experiences—are you [...]
When Struggling People Are Called “Capitalists”: The Manipulation Behind a Cruel and Convenient Lie
The Manipulation Behind a Cruel and Convenient Lie
There is a quiet cruelty in accusing poor and marginalized people of being “capitalists.”
It soun [...]