What “Just Say No” Taught Us About False Solutions
There was a time when America believed a slogan could solve a crisis.
The Just Say No campaign told people:
Just say no to drugs.
Simple. Clear. Re [...]
The Hideous Scars of Child Sexual Abuse: Self Doubt
Self-doubt.
I think that one reason that some people can't understand sexual violence is they don't understand just how complicated it really i [...]
Women Are Not Required to Be Available
No one could have predicted how this year would end. It bent sharply. Again and again.
Just when people thought they understood the terrain, t [...]
🧨 Selective Empathy: Who Gets Compassion—and Who Gets Condemned
⚖️ "But His Parents Divorced..."
As an advocate for victims of violence, abuse, and rape; I’ve sat in enough courtrooms to know this:When a white def [...]
You Don’t Have to Prove Your Worth: Reclaiming Women’s Right to Safety, Dignity, and Respect
Dominance:
Turning every women's space into
"his" too but in different font. Too often, women are pushed into defending our own dignity. [...]
The Hidden Bill: What Violence Against Women Really Costs
When we talk about violence, we rarely talk about what the financial costs. Not just the broken bones or the heartbreak — but the billions of dolla [...]
Sad But True Little Known Facts About Women in Prison
It is only by the grace of God that every female Survivor of abuse is not in prison, suffering more abuse and violence at the hands of men. [...]
Strength for the Journey: Resilience Through the Wisdom of Dr. Clenora Hudson-Weems
Not every name that carries wisdom is known in every household. Some voices travel quietly, like rivers underground, shaping the landscape even if w [...]
“They’ll Be Raped Anyway” Is Not a Strategy—It’s Cowardly a Surrender
Some people are not "foxhole" people. They surrender mid-battle.
You say,“Well, women will be raped anyway…”as if that justifies handing predators [...]
Affirmation: I Am My Own Unique Self-Special, Creative, and Wonderful
updated for 2025
✨ Affirmation: I Am My Own Unique Self
I am my own unique self—special, creative, and wonderful.No one in the entire universe i [...]
A Mother Daughter Team Teaching Lessons on Teen Dating Violence: Carolyn Mosely and Ortralla Mosely (Resting in Power)
updated from 2/5/25
I exchanged emails with this mother, Carolyn Mosley, many years ago.
I don't think I will ever forget she and her d [...]
🛑 When Children Are Punished for Feeling, They Learn to Go Along with Harm
There’s something we don’t talk about nearly enough:
When children are punished too often—especially for having feelings or telling the truth—they do [...]
Only 2% “Owned” Slaves?” The Dangerous Game of Subtracting Context
We’ve all heard it: “Only 2% of white people "owned" slaves.”It’s a talking point tossed around to downplay history. But here’s the truth: it’s not th [...]
The Real Exclusion Happens When We Refuse to Face the Truth: Male on Male Violence
It is not women who are being exclusionary when we protect our spaces.It is not women who are the barrier to real, lasting change.
When people refuse [...]
Bullies and Cowards: A Natural Alliance in the Abuse of Women and Vulnerable Adults
If there is one thing history, society, and personal experience have proven time and again, it’s that bullies and cowards are natural allies. They m [...]
“She Went Off”: Why Women Are Expected to Stay Calm While Being Violated
Every time a woman raises her voice about a violation, someone appears — online, in the comments, in the community — to say:
“She went off.”“She over [...]
10 Common Myths About Grooming (and the Truth Survivors Need to Know)
Grooming is one of the most misunderstood forms of abuse. Many people still believe dangerous myths that downplay the harm or shift blam [...]
💔 When She Protects Herself, He Cries Harm
[wesurviveabuse.com]
There are men—too many—who believe that a woman harms them simply by refusing to be harmed by them.
She sets a boundary.She tel [...]
Sexual Violence Against Black Males: No Video, No Witnesses, and It IS Killing Them
updated from original post on 12/15/2015So last night I Twitter watched one of my favorite shows. A true crime show. You c [...]
When Women Must Explain Their Boundaries, Society Has Already Failed Them.
updated from November 5, 2025
Do you see how not one male is explaining his right to boundaries, just women and girls? You see how rested they are? T [...]
Betrayal Blindness: When Your Brain Protects You… by Lying to You
Let’s talk about something real.
Have you ever looked back at a situation and thought—"Wait… that wasn’t okay. That was messed up"?
Maybe it was a p [...]
When One Gets Through, Others Follow: The Open Door Metaphor in Abuse
There’s a pattern in abuse that doesn’t get talked about enough. Not in training rooms. Not in courtrooms. Not even in some support groups. But Surv [...]
They Know What They’re Doing: Why Abusers Target Neurodivergent People—Especially in Love
Let’s talk about something that far too often stays in the shadows:
Abusers know what they’re doing.And many of them actively seek out people they [...]
Stay Woke: When a Warning is Turned to a Punchline
Watching language warning about life or death flatten into a "trend".... is frustrating. “‘Stay woke’ began as a warning, not a trend. Thi [...]
Misogynist Gaslighting: The Reversal That Keeps Women Unsafe
Misogynist gaslighting is not just individual.It's systemic, strategic, and silencing.
Here’s how it works—over and over again: 1. Women Set Bound [...]
When Political Parties “Care” — But Only in One Corner of Our Lives
Political parties love to remind women and minorities: We care about you.But too often, their care is narrow. Conditional. Safe for their talking poin [...]
Dear Survivors: Being Heard Was Never the Same as Being Believed
The silencing of survivors has never meant the absence of knowledge. It has meant control of the story. For generations, the loudest voices describ [...]
The Kentler Project: When the German State Gave Children to Pedophiles
Yes, it is tragically true.
From the late 1960s through the 1990s, West Germany—specifically the government in West Berlin—knowingly placed vulnerabl [...]
Why Saying ‘Not This Person’ Endangers Children More Than It Protects Truth
Enough! Enough rushing to protect your favorite men. Isn't that how we got here?
There is a new trend here in the West and I hope it does not catch o [...]
Why You May Want to Unfollow People Who Willfully Turn a Blind Eye to Power Imbalance
As Big Brother Legend on X.com says, "I unfollow (Black) people who don't understand this." At this point in my life, I choose to disaffiliate with [...]
The Double Standard Isn’t Cosmetic—It’s Controlling Us.
Plastic surgery was never just about beauty. It was always about control.
Women have long been judged for what we do—or don’t do—to our bodies [...]
Truth-Telling Is Not “Race Talk.” It’s Course Correction.
Saying “Black woman” is not race discourse.It’s not divisive.It’s not inflammatory.It’s accuracy in the field of violence and abuse — a fi [...]
🔥 “Why Does My Safety Offend You?” — When Women Ask for Boundaries and Other Women Dare to Try to Shut Us Down
“Only human beings can look directly at something, have all the information they need to make an accurate prediction, perhaps even momentarily make th [...]
10 Clear Signs He Doesn’t Respect You (And How Survivors Can Break Free From the Programming That Keeps Us Silent)
Respect isn’t what he says in public. It’s how he moves when no one is watching, and how he treats your truth, your boundaries, and your dignity. Here [...]
We Don’t Police Each Other—We Challenge Power
Power.That’s the word they fear most when it rises in a Black woman’s mouth.
Our liberation will never be foundin tearing down each other’s choices.N [...]
🕯️ For Those Who Never Reported: We See You
There are so many reasons Survivors don’t report.And not one of them makes your story less true.
Some of you were children, trying to survive another [...]
Imagine If We Told Men to “Be Kind” as Often as We Tell Women
You can absolutely tell who is male and who is female. Men have been raging at NataleeBFitness all week long. Ever since she announced that her new [...]
Coercive Sex Trafficking: What People Don’t Understand
That line is more fragile than people think.
Too many people in the U.S. still picture sex trafficking as some shadowy van pulling up to snatch a g [...]
Myth: “Women Are Safe as Long as There Are Good Men Around”
Reality: Women Are Only as Safe as the Boundaries and Protections We Demand
One of the most misleading and harmful ideas about women’s safety is the [...]
They Weren’t Just Controlling—They Were Consuming
Survivors often face: the coercion to disappear inside someone else’s reflection.
Some people weren’t looking for love.They were looking for someon [...]