When Black Women Say No: The Punishment Is Public
"If I can’t have her love, I’ll go to war against her peace"
Some men don’t just move on when Black women say no.They retaliate.
They don’t just g [...]
If You Don’t Name It, You Can’t Protect It
*Note: This horrifying and tragic Dominican Republic story came to my attention because of white adult human females who identify as feminists. From t [...]
✂️ Unlearning the Lie: When “Being a Good Person” Means Upholding Harm
Some of us were taught that being a “good person” meant keeping quiet.Smoothing things over.Soften the blow.Protect their reputation.Look the other wa [...]
When Someone Refuses to Leave You Alone: Understanding Forced Access
When Someone Refuses to Respect Distance
It's one thing to talk about the need for and importance of boundaries. We need to talk more about w [...]
The Neuroscience of Political Tribalism | Why You Can’t Think Straight
You saw it too. I was watching clips from Jesse Jackson's homegoing service. Then all of a sudden, people who openly despised this man and ALL that [...]
When Love Feels Like Walking on Eggshells: FAQs About Coercive Control
FAQs About Coercive Control
Is coercive control the same as emotional abuse?
They overlap, but coercive control is often broader. It [...]
📍 Across Borders, Beneath Systems: The Global Face of Sex-Based Oppression
Sex-based oppression is not confined to a single culture, continent, or community. It is a global reality—a multi-layered system of inequality roote [...]
Mahogany: Beyond Fashion, a Lesson in Power and Abuse 💔
Mahogany is often celebrated for its style—but the film also quietly shows obsession, control, and emotional abuse.
But beneath that glossy surface [...]
When Chaos Becomes Normal: Relearning the Language of Calm and Boundaries
Some of us grew up learning to breathe in the middle of storms.
We learned to sleep through shouting, to laugh through danger, to keep functioning th [...]
If Any of Your Relationships Run on Silence and Lies, It’s Time to Reclaim Your Voice
I need to speak to you plain today.
There comes a time in healing when you must take a long, hard look around you and ask:Who benefits from my sile [...]
🚨 Pregnancy Shouldn’t Be a Death Sentence
Let’s tell the truth—pregnancy should never be a death sentence.
But in the United States, the leading cause of death for pregnant and postpartum w [...]
When the Gate Swings Open: The Floodgate Effect and the Harm That Follows
Some harms don’t happen in isolation.
They happen because someone was let in who shouldn’t have been.And then, no one shut the door behind them.
In [...]
12 Quiet Ways Self-Abandonment Shows Up
(And How to Come Home to Yourself)
Self-abandonment isn’t always loud. It often slips in quietly, disguised as being “easygoing,” “low maintenance,” [...]
🛑 Tokenism Is Not Liberation: Why Hate Groups Tokenize Black Women
Some groups want our rhythm, our language, our beauty—but not our justice.
They say they care about Black women.
They post our photos.Quote our hero [...]
It’s Not the Phrase. It’s the Harm.
Some folks are upset nowabout the phrase:“I don’t owe you.”
Around here, we are retiring the phrase.
But not because people do not like it,
but be [...]
A Woman-Centered Truth About FGM We Cannot Abandon (w/list of resource organizations)
FGM victims’ fury as academics compare practice to cosmetic surgery Any honest critique of global efforts to address female genital mutil [...]
Jim Crow Was About Stripping Boundaries-Not Setting Them
Someone is telling on themselves....... In Jim Crow America, Black people—especially Black women and girls—were forbidden from having boundarie [...]
Our Rights Are Not Disposable
Women's rights are not up for elimination.Not now. Not ever.
Our rights are not conditional based on someone else's discomfort.They are not meant to [...]
Costumes of Control: How Some Male Murderers Used Disguise to Harm Women
Throughout history, some of the most dangerous predators have worn masks—not just metaphorical ones, but literal disguises used to deceive, confuse, [...]
Grief That Echoes: Honoring the Women Amiri Baraka Lost to Violence
There are wounds that don’t stop bleeding just because the headlines fade.There are names that deserve to be spoken with reverence—not onl [...]
The Unseen Cage: What Coercive Control Really Looks Like
Because not all abuse leaves bruises—but it can still steal your freedom.
Some cages are invisible.No bars.No bruises.Just a tighteni [...]
Why Are Women Told to Stay Calm About Things That Should Horrify Everyone?
When women, girls, and children talk about boundaries, it’s not hate speaking. It’s concern. It’s exhaustion. It’s survival language. Too often, th [...]
🎯 Pattern Denial: The Sinister Art of Pretending Not to Know
Some truths are not too complex to understand—they're just too inconvenient to admit.
Even toddlers can identify patterns. I once babysat a precious [...]
13 Things Black Men Could Be Using Their Mics to Talk About
updated from November 25, 2025 Staying informed is an act of power. Because once you see how the system works, you stop begging for fairness and [...]
When “Sisterhood” is a Setup: The Weaponization of Love Bombing to Enforce Male Violence
Watching this got me thinking....... Because at her lowest, a woman who seemed kind. Who seemed to be kind. Led her into a path of prostitution. Then [...]
Every Woman Has the Right to Say ‘No Thanks
Since the dawn of time, women have been pushed, scolded, and lectured into bending their boundaries, reshaping their desires, and swallowing discomfor [...]
How to Fight Social Narcissism: What Racism and Relationship Narcissism Have in Common
Some patterns are so familiar that our bodies recognize them before our mouths can explain them. A room gets quiet. A person says, “That never happene [...]
Grooming by Environment: When the System Softens the Ground for Abuse
When most people hear the word grooming, they imagine a single predator targeting a person—saying the right things, isolating them, offering gifts, br [...]
“Not This Person” Is Old Reputation Management — And We’ve Fought This Before
Domestic violence advocates have been here before.
For decades, advocates fought a very specific lie.Not loudly at first.But relentless [...]
Healing When Your Abuser Is Still Welcome at the Table
The betrayal no one wants to talk about—but every Survivor remembers. There’s a kind of betrayal that lives in the silence.In the sideways glan [...]
When Stalking Isn’t Just “Annoying” — It’s a Real Threat to Girls and Women
INVESTIGATIVE: One stalking victim's mother speaks after man kills woman, sets himself on fire
Stalking is often dismissed as “harassment” or brushed [...]
The Healing Isn’t in the Headlines. It’s in the Listening
There is a rhythm that the media loves:Shock. Outrage. Silence.A Survivor comes forward.The story catches fire.It lands in headlines, hashtags, and tr [...]
Women Are Not Required to Be Available
No one could have predicted how this year would end. It bent sharply. Again and again.
Just when people thought they understood the terrain, t [...]
Why Declaring Women’s Right to Privacy and Safety Means Rejecting Male Entitlement
When we declare that women and girls have the right to privacy, dignity, and safety, we are also declaring something deeper: 🚫 What It Means [...]
You Never Know Who’s Listening
You don’t know which of the people around you are living in abusive situations.But they see you.They watch you.They hear you.
They are listening—no [...]
When Communities Celebrate Predators: The Cost of Uplifting R. Kelly in Black Spaces
Stop making abuse a softer crime just because the beat is familiar.
Let me just get this sentence out so I can be done:
Must we use every Bl [...]
What Really Protects Women: Moving Beyond Racial Myths and Toward Real Safety
For generations, women have been taught to fear the wrong things.We were warned about dark alleys, strangers, and the “unknown man” who might leap out [...]
❌ If You Can’t Speak Your Truth Without Losing Love, You’re Not in a Relationship—You’re Under Rule
There are relationships that look like love on the outside.They may even feel like love—sometimes.
But if your ability to tell the truth threatens [...]
When Propaganda is Used Against Abuse Survivors
Propaganda isn’t just for politics or war; it’s a powerful tool that gets used to control narratives about abuse survivors, shape public perception, a [...]
Don’t Be Fooled: Giving Away Your Rights Isn’t Liberation
They told you it was clever.Told you it was edgy.Told you it was revolutionary.
But let’s talk about what it really is when you hand over your righ [...]
Green Flag: Safe Adult Males Stay Out of Female Spaces and Advocate for It
Miss us entirely with all of your hurdles for women to clear demonstrating that we can "be kind" in a world does nothing to make this world safer for [...]
Some Truths We’re Not Supposed to Say Out Loud- But We Will
We see you.Not with malice.Not with envy.But with ancient knowing.
We know when something in the milk ain't cleanWe know when a movement carries rot [...]
Smart People Can Be Fooled: Why Propaganda Loves an Educated Mind
One of the most dangerous myths in the world is the belief that only “ignorant” people fall for propaganda. That is not true. Smart people can b [...]
✨ Survivor Affirmations for the Women Who’ve Held Their Tongue Far Too Long
Let’s be honest.
The people who critique dark-skinned Black women’s beauty?Often have deep gaps in their own appearance, character, and spirit that [...]
🛑 Stop Saying “Men Wouldn’t Go That Far to Abuse Women
Please stop telling Survivors that "men wouldn’t go through the trouble of dressing up as women just to abuse women."
We’ve heard it too many times [...]
They Got So Much Things To Say Right Now (But here’s what Survivors actually need to hear.)
When a domestic violence Survivor speaks out, everyone suddenly has something to say. “She should’ve left.”“Why didn’t she tell anyone?”“What did [...]
10 Signs You’re Being Dehumanized—Even by People Who Say They Support You
This is a crucial question—because recognizing when you are being dehumanized is often the first step in reclaiming dignity, power, and bounda [...]
She Wasn’t Weak. He Was Dishonest.
We need to talk about the way society punishes women for being manipulated.
She trusted someone.She believed his words.She gave him the benefit of th [...]
RED FLAG:🚩 Quick Love Can Be a Cage
When Fast Turns to Fear: What We’re Not Talking About Enough
They came on strong.Said all the right things.Made you feel seen, heard, adored.And be [...]
🔥 The Price of Loyalty to the Lie
Some silence isn’t ignorance. It’s allegiance.
There are women who didn’t know.There are women who didn’t see.There are women who were misled, manipu [...]
When White Women Say “Misogyny Is Older,” What’s Really Happening
That move is often about re-centering. When Black women name race and gender together, the response isn’t just disagreement—it’s [...]
People Don’t Fear Your Inner World. They Fear Being Controlled by It.
When I was in college earning my degree in Organizational Management and Development, we were asked to give a presentation about early milestones in o [...]
‘Playing Victim’: How Racism Silences Black Voices and Blocks True Healing in America
Wherever there is harm—whether domestic violence, sexual violence, stalking, or racism—there is often the same pattern: minimization, denial, and reve [...]
Instinct Is Not Ignorance. It’s Survival.
There’s something sacred about a warning call in the wild.
A rustle.A cry.A shift in the wind.The herd doesn’t debate.The birds don’t fact-check.The [...]
Don’t Look Away: How Polite Fiction Becomes a Predator’s Shield
There is language that has been troubling my soul. As a Womanist historian, I know that misinformation is not just an error; it is a weapon use [...]
When Love Becomes a Warning: The Forgotten Conversation About Parricide and Estrangement
There’s a growing trend across online spaces where people—especially younger adults—discuss estrangement from parents as if it’s a simple math equatio [...]
Where “Bidirectional Abuse” Comes From and Why It Can Mislead People About Black Women
I was astonished that in a season where we had a string of Black femicides and people were asserting "bidirectional violence" on dead women that they [...]
When Someone You Love Defends the People Who Harm Children
There are few heartbreaks more jarring than this:Realizing someone you admire is cheering for those who endanger children.
And it cuts deeper when [...]
12 Similarities Between Josephine Baker and Megan Thee Stallion
Make your own choices. Live your own life. But when women see patterns through other women's lives, our eyesight becomes so much [...]
20 Affirmations and A Note for Those Who Feel Troubled by What They’re Seeing.
Until we choose to have honest, difficult conversations about sexual violators and those who cause harm, they will continue to multiply.
Silence prot [...]
Dr. Tracey Marks: What is Delusional disorder? How Is It Different From Schizophrenia?
Some Survivors are people who have escaped being stalked relentlessly by someone with delusional disorder. Some people were in a relationship but othe [...]
They Can’t Always Find the Right Words. But They Still Deserve to Be Heard.
Sometimes Survivors speak in whispers.Sometimes in long pauses, in shaking hands, in misplaced laughter.Sometimes… not at all.
But let me tell you so [...]
What Is a Rape Apologist?
People catch on to the fact that victims get blamed and no one tells men to stop harming women and girls. Ever. -Tonya GJ Prince
A rape apologist i [...]
✨ When Male Gentleness Is Assumed: Expanding Our Ears, Expanding Our Understanding
updated from December 11 2025
Myth: Straight men are the only danger to women.
**Shayla told me about the male relative she grew up with who was a d [...]
✊🏾 When Policing Women Is Mistaken for Protecting Women
“When a woman goes hungry, more than her body suffers — her dignity, her power, her future are all at risk. Food justice is more than feeding; it’s fr [...]
🚩 Red Flag: When Someone Is Offended by Your Boundaries
Pay attention.
If someone—a person, a group, a movement, a “friend,” a partner—gets angry, offended, or manipulative because you’ve set a boundary…
[...]
Hate Makes the Mind Small: Freedom Lives in Openness
Hateful people say, "So you all are just these magical people walking around knowing everything hunh."
Sometimes...... we do not have the w [...]
💔 Understanding Marital Rape: Consent Still Matters
In too many parts of the world—and even in the minds of too many people—rape inside of marriage is still not fully recognized as a crime. But here’ [...]
Weaponized Empathy Is Not Solidarity. It’s Coercion.
Let’s be real. There is a difference between asking someone to care and asking someone to give themselves away.
What we are seeing—too often, and too [...]
The Disposability of the “Wrong” Women: A Call to Conscience (w/Affirmations)
There is a silence that wraps itself around certain women like a shroud—thick, suffocating, strategic.
It’s the silence reserved for women who are p [...]
10 Signs You’re Being Asked to Tolerate the Intolerable
adjusting.being understanding.keeping the peace.
repeat.
Your cheek muscles hurt from smiling so much to keep others "comfortable".
And then.....on [...]
You Are Not Overreacting: The Truth About Racism and Dismissal (w/Affirmations)
“Being asked to ignore degradation is not an invitation to be strong. It is an invitation to disappear. And you were never meant to disappear.”
For S [...]
Why Survivors of Abuse Can’t Afford to Choose Political Candidates Like Party Entertainment (And the 15 Things That Actually Matter)
Most women, even if they are in a soft season now, do not have the luxury of choosing leaders like a child chooses entertainment for a birthday party. [...]
Retro Report: The Domestic Violence Case That Turned Outrage Into Action
Generation X was not ready for this story but we needed it! Our Boomer parents were not ready either but they most definitely needed it. In fac [...]