The Healing Isnât in the Headlines. Itâs in the Listening
There is a rhythm that the media loves:Shock. Outrage. Silence.A Survivor comes forward.The story catches fire.It lands in headlines, hashtags, and tr [...]
Della Reese, Medical Racism, and Why Black Patients Fight to Be Heard
Della Reese was not unknown.
She was not invisible to the public.
She was already famous. Already gifted. Already se [...]
Some Truths Weâre Not Supposed to Say Out Loud- But We Will
We see you.Not with malice.Not with envy.But with ancient knowing.
We know when something in the milk ain't cleanWe know when a movement carries rot [...]
“Why Do Her Posts Always Seem to Reassure Men, Not Women?â
First of all, before I say anything else, for your own survival, believe her. You are growing awareness of who benefits from these declarations.
When [...]
Why Doesnât She Leave? Because Leaving Costs Money
Why doesnât she leave? Because leaving costs money.She needs first and last monthâs rent just to secure a place, plus moving expensesâa truck, de [...]
When a Woman Is Talking About Risk Are We Busy Handing Out Character References?: 11 Signs
updated from April 21, 2026
Her Fear Is Not Yours to Edit
The women and children whom society listens to the least suffer the most intense, [...]
đ¨ Silence Isnât Neutral. Itâs Permission.
Letâs talk about the men who say:
âI donât get involved in drama.ââThatâs between them.ââNot all men are like that.ââIâd never do that, but Iâm not [...]
Self-Abandonment: How Survivors Can Come Home to Themselves
Self-abandonment is one of the most overlooked consequences of surviving abuse, harassment, or assault.Itâs what happens when you learnâoften in order [...]
Stephanie Lyn: How to Distance Yourself
I like this video because it speaks to a very real danger. Emotionally abusive people are a threat to health and safety and sometimes distance is the [...]
Until This Country Reckons with How It Treats Black People, It Will Never Heal Its Violence
Until this country reckons with how it treats Black peopleâhow its systems treat Black peopleâhow it still treats Black women carrying chronic illness [...]
What The Women of Brewster Place Teaches Us About Access, Isolation, and the Right to Move Freely
Red flags aren't just about individual people's behavior. They are about systemic neglect, officials and leaders ignoring the community's needs, syste [...]
Costumes of Control: How Some Male Murderers Used Disguise to Harm Women
Throughout history, some of the most dangerous predators have worn masksânot just metaphorical ones, but literal disguises used to deceive, confuse, [...]
It Wasnât Just His Girlfriends: A Pattern of Harm, a Society of Silence
Too often, when men like Sean âDiddyâ Combs are accused of violence, public conversation zeroes in on his romantic partnersâon their choices, [...]
Privacy Is Not Prejudice. Itâs Protection.
Somewhere along the way, somebody got bold enough to say it out loud:"That makes me uncomfortable."
She said it gently at first.A whisper in the lock [...]
They Know Exactly Who They Are
We like to believeâmany of usâthat if people only knew the truth about someoneâŚ
âŚthat theyâre abusive.âŚthat theyâre a predator.âŚthat they hurt wome [...]
RED FLAG:đŠ Quick Love Can Be a Cage
When Fast Turns to Fear: What Weâre Not Talking About Enough
They came on strong.Said all the right things.Made you feel seen, heard, adored.And be [...]
Men Have a Duty to Be Safe Around Women and Children
We need to say this more often, and we need to say it without apology: men have a duty to be safe around women and children.
Do not cross bou [...]
âIs It Toxic or Is It Abuse?â â When You’re Trying to Name Whatâs Happening
She sat in her parked car for 32 minutes before going inside.
She wasn't avoiding anyoneâhe wasn't even home.
She just⌠didnât want to walk into her [...]
This Is Why Victims Sue: It’s Not About Greed. It’s About Survival.
They say itâs a âcash grab.âThey roll their eyes.They whisper behind hands.They ask: Why didnât she just go to the police?
But we know better.
Weâve [...]
When Women Excuse Violence, Everyone Pays: The High Cost of Ignoring Abuse
In politics, too many women of privilege in America give violent men a pass.
They vote for them.
They praise them.
They scold other women for not l [...]
Weaponized Witnessing: When They Watch You Fall, But Never Help You Rise
Thereâs a kind of watching that doesnât come from love.A kind of watching that waits for you to stumbleânot to catch you,but to collect the footage. [...]
The Unseen Cage: How Systems Use Coercive Control
When the hands that claim to help you are the ones tightening the grip.
Not all abuse comes from partners.Sometimes, it comes from systemsâthe cour [...]
Every Solution Was Rejected Because Access Was the Goal: Understanding Forced Access, Coercion, and Why So Many Women Feel Pressured to Explain Themselves
A woman asks for safety.
Everyone else asks for evidence.
đż Sometimes a woman is not asking for much.
She is asking for rest.Sh [...]
The Unseen Cage: What Coercive Control Really Looks Like
Because not all abuse leaves bruisesâbut it can still steal your freedom.
Some cages are invisible.No bars.No bruises.Just a tighteni [...]
𧨠The Dangerous Oversight in Some “Alternative Justice” Conversations
In the push for restorative or alternative justice, one painful reality is too often left behind:
đđž Victims have a right to safety.
Not imagined [...]
Where âBidirectional Abuseâ Comes From and Why It Can Mislead People About Black Women
I was astonished that in a season where we had a string of Black femicides and people were asserting "bidirectional violence" on dead women that they [...]
When Childhood Triggers Resurface: Healing Before It Becomes Harm
You Do Not Have to Pass on Pain
If you find yourself feeling anger rise around childrenâif you feel the urge to control, dominate, or humiliateâit is [...]
The Pain They Tell You to Swallow: On Disrespect, Dehumanization, and the Lie of Strength
They say, âNowâs not the time.âThey say, âItâs not that serious.âThey say, âBe the bigger person.âThey say, âOther people have it worse.â
And just li [...]
When He Wonât Pay the Bills: The Financial Abuse People Miss
Financial abuse doesnât always look like taking money. Sometimes it looks like refusing to carry your partâknowing the damage will fall on her and you [...]
Hate Makes the Mind Small: Freedom Lives in Openness
Hateful people say, "So you all are just these magical people walking around knowing everything hunh."
Sometimes...... we do not have the w [...]
đŤ Some of the Most Empowering Movements Still Require Women’s Submission
updated from June 9, 2025
Control doesnât always disappear. Sometimes it evolves its language and waits for you to mistake it for freedom.
Letâs t [...]
Don’t Look Away: How Polite Fiction Becomes a Predatorâs Shield
There is language that has been troubling my soul.As a Womanist historian, I know that misinformation is not just an error; it is a weapon use [...]
You Donât Have to Stay Where Youâre Not Safe
Some of us are trying to bloom in gardens that were never planted for us.
We show up with our hands fullâbandages, truth-telling, receipts, prayers, [...]
Playing Victim or Using Wisdom to Protect Yourself? Why Wise Women Recognize the Pattern of Abuse Before Others
She told a friend once:âThe first time he raised his voice again, I knew.âHer friend asked, âHow could you know? Maybe he was just upset.â
[...]
When HR Doesnât Protect You: What Survivors Deserve to Know
Human Resources (HR) is often unreliable for sexual harassment victimsâespecially in systems where protecting the organization takes priority over pro [...]
đ You Canât Build Something Sacred on Disrespect
Letâs speak truthâbecause Survivors on healthy authentic healing journeys know this better than anyone:
You cannot build healthy relationships with p [...]
Why Truth Is What Finally Sets Survivors Free After Abuse
Truth is still in the business of setting people free.People often misunderstand what happens when a woman calls a domestic violence hotline [...]
Surviving Abuse Daily: Vintage Sexist Ads
updated from June 24, 2022
A Grounding Perspective
Looking back visually can feel startling because images bypass intellectual defenses. They speak [...]
â Signs Black Women Describe When Theyâre Being Treated Poorly During Pregnancy
These stories in the news around Black maternal health always hit home for me. I have publicly shared my pregnancy ordeal and how horrible racism is [...]
The Performance of Ignorance: How Men Pretend Sexual Violence Is News.
There is a peculiar kind of amnesia that grips men whenever the subject turns to sexual violenceâan amnesia so convenient, so well-practiced, it deser [...]
How to Support Lesbian Friends in Abusive Relationships
As an advocate, you become familiar with the careful way that a woman tells you her story. She's testing your waters. Are you safe? Are you judgment [...]
Inclusion Should Never Cost Girls Their Safety
April is child abuse awareness month.
When politicians twist the language of âinclusionâ to force girls to surrender their safe spaces, they are no [...]
10 Reasons Why âNot This Personâ Fails Women Every Time
People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction,
and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of
innocence long after th [...]
Why Leaders Who Excuse Abuse Canât Build SafetyâThey Recreate Harm
When someone dismisses violence, mocks Survivors, or excuses abuse, theyâre not neutral.
Theyâre signaling the kind of safety they intend to buildâon [...]
The Delay Is the Damage: How Abusers Use Time to Their Advantage
from WESurviveAbuse.comThe truth about violence and abuse rarely rushes out of the shadows.It creeps.It stutters.It fights its way through sha [...]
The World Loves Powerful Men. Even When Theyâre Violent.
Letâs tell the truth today.
The world loves powerful men. Even when theyâre violent.Especially when theyâre violent.
It doesnât matter if heâs a c [...]
They Mock You, Then Expect You to ServeâThe Trap Ends Now
May you never again fall into the trap of using your labor for an individual or group who calls your worth into question by...
Mocking your b [...]
And Why Don’t Black Women Call the Police? (Graphic video posted by Ben Crump)
âThe Constitution they wrote was designed to protect the rights of white, male citizens. As there were no black Founding Fathers, there were no foun [...]
When Someone You Love Defends the People Who Harm Children
There are few heartbreaks more jarring than this:Realizing someone you admire is cheering for those who endanger children.
And it cuts deeper when [...]
A Mother Daughter Team Teaching Lessons on Teen Dating Violence: Carolyn Mosely and Ortralla Mosely (Resting in Power)
updated from 2/5/25
I exchanged emails with this mother, Carolyn Mosley, many years ago.
I don't think I will ever forget she and her d [...]
No, Feminists Didnât “Give Up a Happy Home.” We Fought to Escape a Cage
And the walls of that cage were built with silence, shame, and sanctioned suffering.
Thereâs a dangerous myth floating around like perfum [...]
âBut Is It Abuse?â â The Quiet Ways Harm Hides in Plain Sight
Every day, people ask themselves:"Is this abuse?"
Because sometimes the harm doesnât leave bruises.It doesnât scream.It doesnât break doors or raise [...]
Halle Berry Did Something Rare for These Days â She Spoke Directly for Women
When Halle Berry stood up and challenged Governor Gavin Newsom, she wasnât dabbling in a new lane, chasing headlines, or borrowing talking points. She [...]
Reputation Is Not Character: What the BTK Case Teaches Us About Recognizing Real Danger
How to spot the warning signs abusers hide behind â and why "he seemed so normal" is never the whole storyWhy This Case Still Matters
Dennis [...]
đŁ In Just One Second: 12 Ways People Tell You Theyâre Pro-Abuser
(And Maybe Capable of Abuse Themselves)
Sometimes it doesnât take a full conversation.Sometimes it takes just one sentence, one smirk, one moment o [...]
They Got So Much Things To Say Right Now (But hereâs what Survivors actually need to hear.)
When a domestic violence Survivor speaks out, everyone suddenly has something to say.âShe shouldâve left.ââWhy didnât she tell anyone?ââWhat did [...]
10 Signs Youâre Being Asked to Tolerate the Intolerable
adjusting.being understanding.keeping the peace.
repeat.
Your cheek muscles hurt from smiling so much to keep others "comfortable".
And then.....on [...]
Red Flag Alert: Unhinged Game Fans
Man Fatally Shoots Wife And Critically Injures Stepdaughter After Fight Over âMonday Night Footballâ: Sheriff
updated from 4/5/24
You [...]
𧹠You Donât Have to Build the House to Set the Fire:
The Truth About Harm Within Oppressive Systems
Some people argue:âI didnât build the system. So I canât be responsible for the harm it causes.â
Be [...]
13 Things Black Men Could Be Using Their Mics to Talk About
updated from November 25, 2025Staying informed is an act of power.Because once you see how the system works, you stop begging for fairness and [...]
The Double Standard: Why Black Women Carry Everyone Else’s Accountability
Some people judge Black women as if influence comes with a lifetime warranty on another person's integrity...
This is not a defense of Oprah specific [...]
20 Affirmations and A Note for Those Who Feel Troubled by What Theyâre Seeing.
Until we choose to have honest, difficult conversations about sexual violators and those who cause harm, they will continue to multiply.
Silence prot [...]
Prevent it-Trauma is Traumatizing.
This poster could not be more correct. You do not do this work without encountering people who do not recover.Some are in prison.Some are in b [...]
When Someone Refuses to Leave You Alone: Understanding Forced Access
When Someone Refuses to Respect Distance
It's one thing to talk about the need for and importance of boundaries. We need to talk more about w [...]
Don’t Ignore the History and Connection of Accountability Evasion in Violence, Abuse, and Racism (w/ podcast episode)
So we have reached the place where the n-word is actually Black American people's fault. And that is part of the cycle of harm. Evading accountability [...]
The Myth of Neutrality: Why Identity Blindness Fails Survivors Every Time
Thereâs a phrase people love to say when conversations get uncomfortable:
âI donât see gender, race, sexuality, or identity. I treat everyone the sam [...]
10 Signs Someone Is Using Shame to Control You
Shame is one of the oldest tools of control.It does not simply tell you that you made a mistake. It whispers that you are the mistake.Healthy [...]
You Donât Find Your People By What They PostâYou Find Them By What They Protect
"I donât want to hear you say, 'Honey, Iâm behind you.' Well, move, I donât want you back there because you could be 200 miles behind. I want you to [...]
Remaining Calm in the Face of Abuse: A Survival Tactic We Can All Learn From
We have never given domestic and sexual assault victims the credit that they deserve. -Tonya GJ Prince
Too often, people assume that victims of domes [...]
đŠ Red Flag: When Someone Is Offended by Your Boundaries
Pay attention.
If someoneâa person, a group, a movement, a âfriend,â a partnerâgets angry, offended, or manipulative because youâve set a boundaryâŚ
[...]
Calling Women âHatefulâ for Wanting Safety Is Abuse Dressed in Decorum
Letâs name this for what it is:
When politicians, media figures, or public influencers call women âhatefulâ for expressing concerns about our safet [...]
Forced Sterilization Never Ended â It Just Learned How to Hide (women’s present day stories through videos)
The thing about 'female exams' is that we have to make our bodies available to doctors, but we have no idea what they may be doing to our bodies.Â
&n [...]
Red Flags: Why Do Some People Refuse to Challenge Systems of Harm â and What Does that Reveal About Them?
Womenâs safety movements grew from necessity â from the silences of law, the blind spots of culture, and the cruelty of normalized harm. Every woman l [...]
Jim Crow and the Erasure of Black Womanhood
Jim Crow and the Erasure of Black Womanhood
In the era of Jim Crow, Black women were denied full personhood. Their bodies were brutalized.
Their cr [...]