For years, people asked, “Why doesn’t she just leave?”That question is evaporating—not because we finally understand domestic violence, but be
Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko
For years, people asked, “Why doesn’t she just leave?”
That question is evaporating—not because we finally understand domestic violence, but because something far more sobering is happening:
Where can she possibly afford to go?
We are living through a housing crisis that is reshaping safety itself. The high cost of living—rent, mortgages, deposits, utilities—has quietly become one of the deadliest factors in domestic conflict. It is not your imagination. It is harder to leave.
Leaving used to be a choice. Now, for many, it feels like a luxury.
Women—especially mothers, grandmothers, and caregivers—are staying in dangerous relationships because the alternative is homelessness, instability, or moving into overcrowded homes where tensions rise. We are losing women, children, and entire families at once. Even police officers are dying in the chaos that erupts when people cannot separate safely.
When people can’t afford to part ways, relationships become combustible.
That includes:
- Couples who see violence on the horizon but have no exit route
- Adult children forced back into volatile family homes
- Divorcing spouses trapped under one roof
- Volatile young adults who cannot launch safely
- Caregivers and elders living with people who feel entitled to their space, money, or labor
When the doorway out is blocked by economics, tempers escalate. Boundaries disappear. Desperation grows. The pressure turns human beings into time bombs.
This is not only about domestic violence. It’s about housing as a safety issue.
What You Can Do
Every time you hear about a woman, man, or family who couldn’t leave because they couldn’t afford to—you can act.
Write a note. Send an email. Leave a message. Tell your local lawmakers:
“People are dying because housing is unaffordable. We need safe, accessible options for separation and relocation.”
It doesn’t have to become a political war. This is not Democrat v Republican. It’s a matter of human survival. Leaders cannot fix what they refuse to see.
Communities can bring this critical issue up:
- In newsletters
- In church bulletins
- In PTA circles
- In support groups
- In neighborhood associations
- In letters signed by dozens of everyday citizens
Housing is not just an economic issue. It is a public safety lifeline. When homes are unattainable and rent exceeds average income, the danger doesn’t just rise—it multiplies.
This is how we keep people alive.
Not by telling them to leave.
But by making sure they have somewhere safe to go.