You may know this tactic by another name. Maybe "stringing you along." It has been a major theme in classic novels like, The Great Gatsby and even
You may know this tactic by another name. Maybe “stringing you along.”
It has been a major theme in classic novels like, The Great Gatsby and even contemporary films like “He’s Just Not That Into You“.
Today we need to talk about breadcrumbingâa tactic that far too many people experience but donât always have the language to name.
đ So, What Is Breadcrumbing?
Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention, kindness, or affection to keep you emotionally attached⊠but never follows through with real love, respect, or commitment.
Itâs like theyâre tossing you crumbs to keep you hungry for a meal they have no intention of serving.
đĄ Real-Life Breadcrumbing Might Look Like:
They text you late at night but ignore you during the day.
They give you compliments when you’re ready to walk awayâthen disappear again.
They keep you hoping by saying things like, âWeâll see,â âIâm just confused,â or âI need time.â
Itâs emotional manipulationâand it is not love.
Not now. Not ever.
đ§ Why Does Breadcrumbing Hurt So Much?
Because it mimics connection. It triggers hope. It makes you second-guess your instincts.
And for Survivorsâespecially those who have been gaslighted, abandoned, or emotionally neglected beforeâit can feel familiar in the worst way.
You may even find yourself thinking:
âMaybe if Iâm more patientâŠâ
âMaybe theyâre just going through somethingâŠâ
âMaybe Iâm asking for too muchâŠâ
No. Youâre not.
Youâre asking for basic respect, consistency, and careâwhich you absolutely deserve.
đ© Breadcrumbing Is a Red Flag
People breadcrumb to:
Keep you emotionally tied to them without committing
Boost their own ego
Avoid accountability
Maintain power over your attention, time, or body
Itâs not confusion. Itâs a choiceâa form of control dressed up in sweet words and mixed signals.
đ„ What You Can Do About It
If you recognize breadcrumbing, remind yourself of this truth:
âI donât chase crumbs when I was born to feast.â
Create space for yourselfâemotionally, mentally, physically
Set boundaries. Unapologetically.
Reconnect with people who show up consistently and care honestly
Write out the lies youâve been toldâand replace them with truth
đ€ You Deserve More
You were not put on this Earth to wait around for someone to love you halfway.
At We Survive Abuse, we believe in calling things by their true names. Breadcrumbing is not complicated. Itâs not mysterious. And itâs not your fault.
Itâs manipulation.
Itâs a tactic.
And you never have to accept it.
đ§ No More Crumbs
A Playlist for Survivors Who Know They Deserve the Whole Meal
đŻ Phase 1: Recognize the Crumbs
Naming the confusion, the mixed signals, and the emotional games.
Almost Doesnât Count â Brandy
Canât Let Go â Mariah Carey
Love on the Brain â Rihanna
Back Stabbers â The OâJays
You Know Iâm No Good â Amy Winehouse
Iâm Goinâ Down â Mary J. Blige
Creep â TLC
If You Think Youâre Lonely Now â Bobby Womack
đ§Œ Phase 2: Release the Pattern
Breaking ties, reclaiming clarity, choosing self-respect over chaos.
Irreplaceable â BeyoncĂ©
Take a Bow â Rihanna
No More Drama â Mary J. Blige
I Will Survive â Gloria Gaynor
Ring My Bell â Anita Ward
Iâm Every Woman â Chaka Khan
Woman to Woman â Shirley Brown
He Wasnât Man Enough â Toni Braxton
Youâre Makinâ Me High â Toni Braxton
đ Phase 3: Rise & Reclaim
The comeback. The glow-up. Dancing in your power.
Got to Be Real â Cheryl Lynn
Ainât Nobody â Chaka Khan
Break My Soul â BeyoncĂ©
Love Hangover â Diana Ross
Golden â Jill Scott
Superwoman â Karyn White
No Scrubs â TLC
I Am Not My Hair â India.Arie (ft. Akon)
Never Knew Love Like This Before â Stephanie Mills
Young, Gifted and Black â Aretha Franklin
- Rock Steady– Aretha Franklin
âI have the right to stop waiting for someone who only shows up when it suits them.
I am not a backup plan.
I am the foundation.
I do not feast on crumbsâI create the table.â