When women cry out for justice, safety, healing, and the right to exist without fear, the response is too often not action—but distraction. Instead
When women cry out for justice, safety, healing, and the right to exist without fear, the response is too often not action—but distraction.
Instead of addressing the harm, society interrogates the woman:
What does she look like?
How does she say it? Did she ask nicely? Did she say pretty please? Did she show some thigh?
Wait. Is she willing to put everyone else on her back and carry them too? Even if they never do it for her?
Is she beautiful, desirable, thin, or soft enough to be worth protecting?
These are the ancient tactics of delay and dismissal.
We reject them all.
❌ 1. How “Feminine” We Look
Whether a woman looks “soft,” “curvy,” or “delicate” has nothing to do with whether she deserves safety.
Safety is not reserved for those who look the part of someone else’s fantasy.
Femaleness is a biological reality —not a costume.
Safety doesn’t come with approval. It comes with being human—and female.
❌ 2. Hair Length, Texture, or Volume
Women with short hair, afro hair, braids, bald heads, or natural curls do not owe anyone a particular aesthetic in exchange for protection. Black women and girls are still policed for wearing our hair naturally.
From scalp to strand, no woman should have to manipulate her identity to receive protection.
Hair is not a safety requirement. Being female is.
❌ 3. Her Skin Tone
Colorism has long influenced who society views as innocent, respectable, or in need of saving.
But light-skinned, dark-skinned, acne-scarred, freckled—it makes no difference.
No girl should be left unprotected because she isn’t “marketable” to a specific group of people.
❌ 4. Her Weight or Body Type
Fat girls are bullied. Fat women are denied medical care. Thin women are disbelieved.
All of it is violence rooted in misogyny.
Safety should not be reserved for women who fit into someone else’s beauty algorithm.
❌ 5. Her Tone of Voice
Women who whisper are ignored. Women who scream are punished.
Whether calm, blunt, poetic, or pleading—we will not be tone-policed while trying to survive.
❌ 6. How Attractive She Is to Men
We will not base a woman’s access to justice on whether or not men find her attractive.
Many women are hurt by the very people who once desired them.
Desirability is not the doorway to dignity.
❌ 7. Her Relationship Status
Single women, divorced women, childfree women, teen mothers—all deserve protection.
Having a man’s last name doesn’t make a woman more human.
❌ 8. Whether She “Fits In” or Follows Social Norms
Girls who speak out, ask questions, or defy groupthink are often targeted.
But we weren’t made to blend in.
We were made to survive—and protect others who can’t speak yet.
❌ 9. Respectability Politics
It doesn’t matter if she’s in a church dress, a hoodie, or hospital gown.
Women have been raped in uniforms, in high heels, in head wraps, and in sweatpants.
There is no outfit that protects you from abuse, assault, violence and misogyny.
❌ 10. Whether She’s “Easy to Listen To”
We’ve been trained to make our messages more palatable. To apologize for causing discomfort.
But you know what?
We’re done softening the truth so others can digest it.
đźš« Safety Is Not a Performance
You do not need to be:
“Pretty enough”
“Light enough”
“Quiet enough”
“Forgiving enough”
“Agreeable enough”
to be free from harm.
The only thing that should matter when discussing safety, justice, and well-being is:
👉🏾 She is female.
And that fact, on its own, has never been enough for this world to listen.
But it’s more than enough for us to fight, defend, and demand change.
We are not a backdrop for male-centered politics.
We are not footnotes in someone else’s identity journey.
We are girls and women who bleed, birth, break, and build.
And our safety is not up for negotiation.
đź’Ą Final Word:
Women do not have to perform beauty, compliance, or gentleness to be worthy of protection.
We are speaking of:
Safety.
Health.
Dignity.
Justice.
Life and death.
We don’t have time for distractions. We don’t have space for derailments.
We will not negotiate our survival based on anyone’s approval.
🪷
Share if you feel safe and ready—your voice might be the lifeline someone else needs.
And if you do share, remember to cite the messenger. Words carry legacy.
[rosaschildren.com] | [wesurviveabuse.com] | [survivoraffirmations.com]
