People keep acting like a man’s sexual identity is a character reference. They say things like: “He likes women.”“He has a girlfriend.
People keep acting like a man’s sexual identity is a character reference.
They say things like:
“He likes women.”
“He has a girlfriend.”
“He wouldn’t do that.”
As if attraction is a moral credential.
But when you use who he claims to want to dismiss what he actually did, that’s not logic — that’s rape-apologist language.
When someone says:
“He likes women.”
“He prefers women.”
“He’s straight — he wouldn’t do that.”
They think they’re defending innocence.
What they are actually doing is:
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Dismissing the victim
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Refusing to examine behavior
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Replacing evidence with assumption
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Treating identity as proof of innocence
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Turning sexuality into a shield
That’s not neutrality.
Because the moment you use what a man says he likes to deny what he did, you are:
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prioritizing his reputation over someone else’s trauma
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protecting fantasy over fact
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treating sexual identity as a character alibi
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demanding that the victim rewrite their truth to fit his narrative
It is the same logic as:
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“He comes from a good family”
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“He has a girlfriend”
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“He’s never done anything like this before”
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“That’s not his type”
All of these statements share the same DNA:
They insist that who he claims to be is more real than what he actually did.
That is textbook rape-apologist reasoning.
So when people say:
“He likes women.”
What they’re really saying is:
“I am more committed to his identity than your reality.”
And that is the exact moment the victim becomes invisible.
A man’s stated preference does not erase his actions.
Plenty of predators have partners. Plenty of abusers have families. Plenty of men who harmed boys or men still called themselves “straight.” Words are cheap. Behavior is evidence.
He harmed who he harmed.
Not who he advertised himself to want.
If the truth threatens a man’s identity, the problem isn’t the truth — it’s the identity he built on lies.
Manhood doesn’t collapse when we tell the truth.
Only myths do.