Nell Carter: A Voice That Refused to Break
When I was a child, Nell Carter was one of my favorite entertainers. She still is. I had to share her with millions of other people though. [...]
How We Are Getting Played by Rapists & Abusers
Updated from 7/1/15The Pied PiperWhen I was a kid, there was a "children's story" that scared me to death.The Pied Piper was a story based o [...]
Sisterhood Isn’t a Cage: Reject the Love Bombs That Protect Male Violence
Some women will drench you in compliments, promises, and affection —not to celebrate you,not to empower you,but to disarm you.
They come smiling, arm [...]
Her VOICE is Terrifying But Not His Violence?
Some men (and women) don’t define harm as what they’ve done.They define harm as a woman’s refusal to keep quiet about it.
In this upside-down worldvi [...]
Why Some People Fear the Truth About Domination
There’s a strange thing happening in our world today—especially online—where people want to argue about the words we use instead of faci [...]
Only 2% “Owned” Slaves?” The Dangerous Game of Subtracting Context
We’ve all heard it: “Only 2% of white people "owned" slaves.”It’s a talking point tossed around to downplay history. But here’s the truth: it’s not th [...]
Once You Know, You’re Responsible for the Truth
Coercive Sex Trafficking Isn’t Hidden. We’ve Just Been Taught Not to See It.
Coercive sex trafficking thrives in the cracks of our silence.
It sur [...]
I’m Terrified to Tell You that I’m a Rape Survivor Because
I’m Terrified to Tell You that I’m a Rape Survivor Because I’m Afraid You’re Going to Judge Me Negatively, Deny My Experience, and Care More About Not [...]
This Is Why Victims Sue: It’s Not About Greed. It’s About Survival.
They say it’s a “cash grab.”They roll their eyes.They whisper behind hands.They ask: Why didn’t she just go to the police?
But we know better.
We’ve [...]
Don’t Ignore the History and Connection of Accountability Evasion in Violence, Abuse, and Racism (w/ podcast episode)
So we have reached the place where the n-word is actually Black American people's fault. And that is part of the cycle of harm. Evading accountability [...]
Sarah Palin Was Right—This Time
I don’t know if she and I will ever agree again.But today, on this?We stand on the same side of the truth. I Am a Survivor.
I survived m [...]
Narrative Control: One More Way Survivors Get Silenced
There’s something you need to know about how survivors are treated after they speak out.
It doesn’t always look like disbelief.It doesn’t always look [...]
Safe Father Figures: 5 Powerful Ways to Help Protect Children from Sexual Abuse
In a world where too many children face harm in silence, safe father figures—biological, step, chosen, or community-based—can be a powerful sh [...]
Highlighting Stories Calling for An End to Violence Against Women and Children in 2023 Part 1
There has been debate around Black victims of domestic and sexual violence withdrawing support from writers and creators who choose to ridicule, [...]
Why Doesn’t She Leave? Because Leaving Costs Money
Why doesn’t she leave? Because leaving costs money. She needs first and last month’s rent just to secure a place, plus moving expenses—a truck, de [...]
🕯️ No Screening? No Safety.
“There is no screening process for the males who are allowed into women’s spaces. That silence is the policy.”
🌾 1. The Hidden Reality Across gyms [...]
RECANT: She Just Wanted Her Life Back
There is a lot going on in the world. But the pain of sexual violence, and the complicated aftermath that follows, never hits “pause.” It doesn’t wa [...]
The Culture That Questions Women Before It Stops Men
Femicide. We keep saying it. “We can’t bring her back, but justice was served.” We say it after the trial.
After the sentencing.
After [...]
Columbus Day: As Long as You Know What You Are Celebrating
A letter from Michele de Cuneo, Columbus’ shipmate during his second voyage, talks about how the “Lord Admiral” (AKA Columbus) ki [...]
💔 When She Protects Herself, He Cries Harm
[wesurviveabuse.com]
There are men—too many—who believe that a woman harms them simply by refusing to be harmed by them.
She sets a boundary.She tel [...]
We Warned You: The Deadly Price Black Women Pay for Social Justice Experiments by The Way She Came
One thing I have learned about life on this planet, people just act like it goes against everything that they believe to listen to Black women.
Th [...]
Prevent it-Trauma is Traumatizing.
This poster could not be more correct. You do not do this work without encountering people who do not recover. Some are in prison. Some are in b [...]
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Fair is Fair: What The Legend of Billie Jean Teaches Us About the Inversion of Reality”
Imagine you’re watching a movie where a sneaky character does something mean to a classmate, like stealing their lunch. But as soon as a teacher walks [...]
The Disparity Between Property Protection and Women’s Safety
People ask strange questions about sexual violence that they wouldn't think to ask about other crimes like robbery or physical violence.Consider [...]
I Will Survive: How Survivor Gloria Gaynor Keeps Inspiring Decades After the Release of Grammy Winning Song
originally published 2/8/ 2016At First I Was Afraid... When we have been wounded we must heal. To do that, I think we all use a combination of&n [...]
Only 2% “Owned” Slaves?”: Slavery and Slaveholding in the United States Facts (Part 3)
Why “The Last Recorded Lynching” IS NOT the Same As “The Last Lynching” Slavery and Slaveholding in the United States, 1860 Introduction
On [...]
Who’s Really Saying “Stop Harming Her”?
You want women to fight for men when those same men will not even say, “Stop doing that.”
Too often, when violence is committed against a woman, men [...]
Why Listening to Women’s Pain Feels Hard—And Why It Matters More Than We Admit
I was confused by my own exhaustion.
I had spent years doing what some people think is the hardest part of advocacy.
Helping women find shel [...]
The Cost of Agreeability: How We Uphold the Barriers We Think We Are Fighting
I've served the women who responded to violence and were facing harsher punishment than any man would have for the same crime. No one was willing to h [...]
Self-Abandonment: How Survivors Can Come Home to Themselves
Self-abandonment is one of the most overlooked consequences of surviving abuse, harassment, or assault.It’s what happens when you learn—often in order [...]
🔥 Druella Jones (Aunt Jonas), Alabama, 1915: The Woman Who Lit A Fire Freedom Remembers
She lit a fire that freedom remembers.
We don’t talk enough about her.
Druella Jones, born into slavery under Thomas Ferrell in Alabama, did not w [...]
Black Women Have Always Spoken Truth to Power — and We Still Will
In the end anti-black, anti-female, and all forms of discrimination are
equivalent to the same thing: anti-humanism.
Shirley Chisholm
F [...]
The Healing Isn’t in the Headlines. It’s in the Listening
There is a rhythm that the media loves:Shock. Outrage. Silence.A Survivor comes forward.The story catches fire.It lands in headlines, hashtags, and tr [...]
When Black Women Are Targeted for Questioning What Others Pretend Not to See
There was another time I learned just how selective feminism and women's work can be. After 30 plus years of service, there are too many.
That time [...]
“I Told Her” Is About You—Not the Victim
Let’s talk about it.
When a woman is harmed—physically, emotionally, spiritually—one of the most common things we hear is: “I told her.”“I war [...]
.png "8 Common Characteristics of People Who Support and Enable Abusive People (Infographic)")
8 Common Characteristics of People Who Support and Enable Abusive People (Infographic)
Some people find truth-telling to be abhorrent and offensive. -TGJPLINK elink.io | See Original [...]
The Door Closes When You Choose Their Violence Over My Truth
(Including the violence you want me to stop talking about.)
There’s a particular kind of betrayal that Black, Indigenous, and other racially marginal [...]
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What To Remember When You Check on Your Stong Friend Who Was Assaulted
It is incredibly difficult to share with someone that you know. "I was abused.""I was victimized.""I was attacked.""I was assaulted." [...]