She missed the signs that her "friend" was setting her up for what was to come that night because she admired her. She missed that "friend" was more o
She missed the signs that her “friend” was setting her up for what was to come that night because she admired her. She missed that “friend” was more of an ally to men who take what they think that they are entitle to than ever could be to her. -Tonya GJ Prince/veteran advocate for abused and violated women.
It can be heartbreaking to watch women we hold in high regard stand beside men who have a pattern of crossing boundaries and causing harm.
We look up to them, we learn from them, sometimes we even build our own strength on the foundation of their words. And then one day, we see them dismiss, excuse, or defend violence.
This is a moment that demands our attention. Not to cancel, not to gossip—but to be honest about what it means when loyalty is placed above safety. When influence is used to soften the truth about harm.
Every time a woman excuses a man’s violence, she teaches the rest of us something too:
She shows us where her priorities fall. She IS living what is true to her.
She reveals how far she’s willing to bend her own boundaries.
Admiration should never blind us to patterns of harm. Respecting someone’s achievements does not require overlooking their choices to stand with violent men.
As women, we deserve to surround ourselves with people who honor safety, accountability, and healing—not those who lend their credibility to repeat offenders, insulters, harmers, and disregarders of female feelings.
The question is simple: If her defense of him costs another woman her safety, do I want to keep her in my circle?
Will I continue to look up to her?
Have I outgrown her? Maybe the relationship has changed? Maybe I can keep some lessons? (all of this fine-sometimes we live in seasons)
Let us dare to choose our company wisely, even when it costs us comfort, admiration, or tradition. May we commit to building circles that honor safety, truth, and accountability. The next generation of women and girls is watching us; let them see us choose each other over the false protection of violent men.
