You don’t know which of the people around you are living in abusive situations.But they see you.They watch you.They hear you. They are listening—no
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You don’t know which of the people around you are living in abusive situations.
But they see you.
They watch you.
They hear you.
They are listening—not just to what you say, but how you say it.
They are quietly taking note.
When they hear you blame victims…
When they see you mock or shame Survivors…
When you say things like, “Well, I would’ve left…” or “That’s her fault for going back…”
They don’t see a safe person.
They don’t see someone they can trust with the most terrifying truth of their life.
And I don’t say this as theory.
I say this as someone who has helped Survivors safety plan for over 30 years.
Out of necessity, Survivors are observant and strategic.
They carry the weight of decisions most people couldn’t imagine.
They are information gatherers. They are familiar with danger.
And when it’s time to seek help, they look for someone who feels safe.
You don’t have to be perfect. But you do need to be intentional.
If you don’t know how to be a safe person, please take the time to learn.
Because one day, someone may be watching you with hope in their eyes, wondering if you’re the one they can finally turn to.
Let’s be worthy of that trust.
Let’s speak with care.
Let’s be people who choose compassion over cruelty.
Wisdom over judgment.
Healing over harm.