We don't do any of ourselves any favors when we believe that coercion, abuse, and loss of rights happen to "stupid or weak people". People in abusive
We don’t do any of ourselves any favors when we believe that coercion, abuse, and loss of rights happen to “stupid or weak people”.
People in abusive relationships rarely wake up one morning and say:
“Today is the day I disappear.”
It doesn’t happen like that.
They lose themselves slowly — almost invisibly — one compromise at a time.
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I won’t bring it up — it’ll only cause a fight.
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Maybe I am too sensitive.
Piece by piece, the person starts shrinking.
Their voice gets quieter.
Their confidence slips.
Their boundaries dissolve.
And eventually, the question arrives:
That same pattern repeats on a larger scale — inside communities, governments, and whole societies.
Authoritarianism never shows up saying:
“Hello, I’m here to control your life.”
It says:
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This is temporary.
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This is necessary.
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This is for your safety.
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This is how good people behave.
And little by little, freedoms disappear:
a protest restricted here
a right removed there
a voice silenced quietly
a law rewritten beneath the radar
No single moment feels dramatic enough to fight over.
Until suddenly, it is too late.
Women’s rights are often taken the same way:
Not with one giant blow — but through dozens of “small” requests:
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Be polite.
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Stop making people uncomfortable.
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Don’t question authority.
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Don’t speak about what happened.
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Don’t demand too much.
One compromise here.
One silence there.
One boundary erased — “just this once.”
And then one day, women look around and realize:
the protections are gone
the choices are gone
the respect is gone
Not because women failed.
But because systems count on women being taught to adjust, absorb, apologize, and obey.
The warning — and the wisdom
When someone asks you to give up:
your voice
your safety
your privacy
your intuition
your right to question
“just this once”…
It is almost never just once.
Every healthy relationship, community, and society can tolerate:
questions
boundaries
disagreement
accountability
truth
Abusive ones cannot.
For Survivors reading this
You are allowed to notice when something feels wrong.
You are allowed to say no.
You are allowed to ask:
Losing yourself is not inevitable.
Reclaiming yourself is possible — one truthful decision at a time.