Who’s Really Saying “Stop Harming Her”?

You want women to fight for men when those same men will not even say, “Stop doing that.”

Too often, when violence is committed against a woman, men’s responses follow a predictable script: blame her, shame her, guilt her. Pick apart her choices. Question her behavior. Search for the flaw in her instead of the harm in him.

Now — ask yourself:
How many times have you actually seen a man stand up to another man and say, “Stop harming her”?

When the man is related to the woman — a father, brother, cousin — this number rises. But if he doesn’t know her? That number stays in the basement.

Meanwhile, women — yes, women — are shaming, blaming, and guilting other women into:

• Feeling sorry for abusive men.

• Letting men trespass on the boundaries of women and children.

• Pleading for mercy for them while the damage is still fresh.

This is how cycles of violence survive:

• Silence from men who could intervene.

• Pressure from women to protect the abuser’s reputation over the victim’s safety.

Until we break both patterns — until “Stop harming her” becomes an unshakable reflex — we are leaving women and children unprotected. And no amount of speeches about “respecting women” will mean a thing.

Affirmations: I Do Not Stand Alone

• I am worthy of protection, even if no one speaks up.

• My boundaries are valid — even when others ignore them.

• I will not let the silence of others silence me.

• I believe myself, even when others try to blame or shame me.

• I will not plead for mercy for the person who harmed me.

• My safety is my first loyalty.

• I choose to stand with women and children over protecting abusers.

• I will not be pressured into excusing violence.

• I do not need permission to say, “Stop.”

• My voice has power — and I will use it.

• I release the expectation that those who can protect me will choose to.

• I refuse to carry the weight of another’s abuse in my spirit.

• I will not protect someone’s reputation at the cost of my own life.

• I will not feel guilty for protecting myself or my children.