You must choose a side. There are things we don’t say often enough—because saying them out loud means we can’t unhear them. Here’s one of them:
You must choose a side.
There are things we don’t say often enough—because saying them out loud means we can’t unhear them.
Here’s one of them:
Most men who sexually abuse children have a lifelong sickness.
Photo by Brendan Church/Unsplash.com
They don’t stop. They study. They stalk. They adapt.
They violate a child, then wait for the storm to pass.
They tell just enough truth to be forgiven.
They cry, pray, love bomb, or claim childhood trauma (which may be true but what are they doing to heal from it?)—whatever keeps the heat off.
And if they’re believed?
They start over.
Different child. Different method. Same outcome.
📌 Why Don’t More People Say This?
Because it makes us uncomfortable.
Because many of us were raised in cultures where family secrecy was survival.
Because faith communities teach forgiveness before they teach safety.
Because oppressed communities are used to holding space for brokenness—but not calling it out.
Because it’s hard to believe that someone we know would do such a thing.
But listen:
This is not about judgment.
This is about protection.
🧠 When You Excuse the Predator, You Harm the Survivor.
Too many Survivors were told to:
“Let it go, that was years ago.”
“Forgive and move on.”
“He was just going through something.”
“Don’t ruin his life.”
But what about the life he ruined?
What about the little girl who couldn’t speak for years?
The grown woman who still wakes up in sweat?
The mother who doesn’t let her child out of her sight because of what he did?
What about her?
💔 A Molester Doesn’t Need Another Chance.
A first chance to trust.
A first chance to be believed.
A first chance to be protected—before the damage is done.
A first chance to grow up untouched.
Some people don’t get that because we gave a predator the benefit of the doubt.
Again.
And again.
And again.
✊🏾 You Must Choose a Side.
You can’t protect Survivors and protect predators.
You can’t say “I believe in healing” while covering for someone who destroys lives.
You can’t say “I love the kids” while letting someone with a known history of abuse near them.
Either you create a future where abuse is rare and unthinkable…
Or you uphold a system where abuse is protected and Survivors are silenced.
This may be hard.
But not as hard as waking up every day with memories that never got justice.
Not as hard as sitting in a courtroom while the world defends the man who hurt you.
Not as hard as being a Survivor in a family or church that wants to forget.
Not as hard as healing alone.
You say you care.
You say you want to break the cycle.
This is what it takes.
Stop playing neutral.
Stop protecting reputations over reality.
Stop waiting until there’s another victim.
