What the Church and People of Faith Can Do to Help Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence

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About sixteen years ago, I was sitting in service while Pastor Lance Watson preached a sermon on relationships. To be honest, I wasn’t paying much attention that morning. I wasn’t in a relationship, so I figured much of it didn’t apply to me.

But then—right in the middle of his message—he said something that lit up the entire church:

“No man has any right to put his hands on a woman.”

The congregation erupted. My heart leapt. Thank you, Lord.

I thought that was the end of it.

Look at God

At the time, I worked as a victim advocate, guiding Survivors of domestic violence through the court system. That very Monday, I met with four different women—each from my own church. Each was there to seek a protective order.

And what had moved them to take that courageous step? Pastor Watson’s sermon.

Four women, four lives touched, four paths redirected because a pastor spoke the truth out loud.

That’s the power faith leaders carry.

Be a Resource

If you want your church to make a difference for Survivors, here are a few steps:

• Provide printed resources. Keep brochures, fact sheets, and safety plans on-site. Most are free through local crisis centers and available online to print or order.

• Make it inclusive. Offer materials written for Women of Color, Spanish speakers, LGBTQ+ communities, youth, men, and other diverse groups.

• Welcome experts. Invite local domestic violence and rape crisis professionals to speak or hold workshops.

And please—when those professionals call your church, don’t turn them away.

Years ago, I called a women’s ministry to offer a free talk about sexual violence. The leader declined, saying, “Our ladies don’t need that. We teach discernment.”

Discernment is valuable. But education saves lives.

Be on the Right Side

I’m not asking churches to believe every accusation without thought. But I am asking this: stop rushing to defend the accused while shaming the accuser.

Too many faith communities rally behind abusers, molesters, and rapists—while Survivors are shunned, silenced, or pushed out.

We don’t do this with other crimes. We don’t embrace murderers and turn our backs on their victims. Why here?

Scripture is clear: God stands with the oppressed, not the opportunistic evildoer.

📖 Exodus 23:1-2
📖 Galatians 6:2

About Forgiveness

Please don’t pressure Survivors to forgive on your timeline. Forgiveness—if it comes at all—is deeply personal.

What was taken from us was valuable. It was valuable to us, and valuable to God. Healing takes time.

And forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. A Survivor may forgive and still choose not to welcome an abuser back into her life. That is her right.

Instead of policing Survivors’ spiritual work, shift the focus:

• Is the offender still hurting people?

• Are they truly repentant?

• Are they working to change?

That’s where the accountability belongs.

Lead By Example

Church leaders—your stories matter. If you have lived experience with abuse, sharing it (when you’re ready) can transform lives.

I once spoke at a church where the pastor stared at me so intently that I feared he disapproved. But when I finished, he rose to share his own story of watching his mother being assaulted. That childhood pain shaped his call to ministry.

That testimony moved the entire congregation. It showed them that abuse is not far away, not abstract—but real, personal, and redeemable through service.

Invest in Training

Every church staff member and volunteer who serves the public should have basic training on domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, and stalking.

Plenty of free webinars and trainings are available. With prevalence rates as high as they are, ignorance is not an option.

📖 Hosea 4:6 – “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.”

Open Your Doors

If your church has space, offer it to Survivors’ groups, training sessions, or healing seminars. Survivors need safe places to gather, learn, and grow.

Uplift Survivors

Survivors carry unique wisdom. We are often the best ones to walk alongside others in pain.

But we need your support—spiritual, emotional, and practical. Encourage us. Believe us. Invest in us.

Because here’s the truth: WE are amazing. And with the right support, our healing ripples out to heal entire communities.

🙏 Survivors don’t need pity. We need partners.
Faith communities, you can be those partners. Speak up. Learn more. Stand with us.