Technology didn’t invent abuse—it just made it harder to escape. She didn’t hand him a knife.She handed him a password.She didn’t give him permission
Technology didn’t invent abuse—it just made it harder to escape.
She didn’t hand him a knife.
She handed him a password.
She didn’t give him permission to track her every move.
She just wanted him to feel secure.
He said, “If you’ve got nothing to hide, why not share your location?”
What she didn’t realize—until it was too late—was that she was no longer just living with a controlling partner.
She was living with a surveillance system.
📱 Tech is Not Neutral in the Hands of a Controller.
We talk about coercive control like it’s something you can hear through the walls.
But in 2025, it’s also hiding in the code.
GPS tracking through family locator apps, car software, or smartwatch syncing
Smart home devices that monitor her movements, lock her out, or record private conversations
Social media manipulation—commenting publicly to discredit her, blocking supportive friends, or threatening to leak private images
Digital banking control—remote access to spending, banking notifications, and financial account freezes
Phone and cloud stalking—abusers logging into her email, calendar, and texts in real time
Even women who leave can’t always leave the network.
If he still knows her passwords, her habits, her phone model, her friend list—he can still reach her.
🧠 This Is Not Paranoia. This Is the New Face of Coercive Control.
Some call it “being protective.”
Some even call it love.
But let’s tell the truth:
Tracking someone without their full, freely-given consent is not love. It’s surveillance.
Women have always been stalked by people who say they love them.
But now?
Now they’re being stalked by data, too.
The abuser isn’t just watching her.
He’s using her phone, her car, her thermostat, her followers, her calendar, and her digital reflection in the algorithm to control her every step.
🛑 “If You Leave, I’ll Post Everything.”
That’s not a threat from a teenager anymore.
That’s real blackmail.
Nude photos obtained during trust.
Videos made under coercion.
Personal messages taken out of context.
Screenshots from vulnerable moments.
Posts that “expose” her as unstable, unfaithful, or unfit.
It doesn’t have to be true.
It just has to hurt.
And the algorithm?
It doesn’t care who’s right.
It cares who’s loud.
👁️🗨️ We Must Relearn What Safety Means.
In the digital age, freedom isn’t just physical. It’s technological.
A woman may finally walk away with no bruises.
But if he still has her data, her devices, or her digital footprint?
He still has power.
We must stop pretending this is about “privacy.”
This is about safety. Autonomy. Digital boundaries.
And every system—from courts to counseling to crisis centers—needs to catch up.
💡 For Survivors and Supporters:
Never assume her devices are safe.
Help her create a digital safety plan, not just a physical one.
Teach teens about consent AND digital protection.
Support laws that recognize tech-based stalking as a real crime.
Believe women when they say “I feel watched.”
Because they often are.
Survivors are not just trying to escape a person anymore.
They are trying to escape a whole network.
