Which Women Do You Really Stand For? The Question Feminists Keep Dodging (updated)

For those unfamiliar: Most Black women did not call for “unity.” We understood then, as we do now, that not all women are willing to give up the protection of what they value most.

I am indeed part of the movement to end violence against women and children and a GenXer, so it has been a long time.  

What stood out to me instantly was the rush on Black women in the movement to quickly side with everyone else on certain high-profile local, national, and international controversial causes-especially those where race was a factor. 

Meanwhile, when we took the time to gather facts, analyze, and think critically, suspicion fell on us. Just speaking for myself, that wasn’t going to work. My background—education, curiosity, and maybe that Black Southern upbringing—just didn’t allow me to move without questions. My grandmother used to call me a “question box,” and she was right, of course. Grandmothers, be knowing. 

Unity was beautiful and generated wind for flight through the journey, but it was never expected.

But, It is always disappointing to see how out of alignment others are with the values they claim to stand for. Because truthfully speaking: if a organization founder went around declaring that white women were mentally inferior, not one of them would be applauding his “open dialogue” or “willingness to have conversations.“

If that’s the standard, then perhaps consider extending the same grace extended to rappers and singers who’ve said misogynistic things. At least they had the artistry to put it to rhythm and make it memorable. At least we can dance, come together around the world through music, and workout to the songs right?  

Classic old skool hip-hop artists came out of the gate having conversations people were terrified lost their minds.

Books were written that opened dialogue. Movies opened dialogued.

Then, movies, books, and music weren’t funded that opened dialogue because they were told they were “esoteric” or “wouldn’t find an audience”….but that’s for another day.

Last week we went up one side and down the other when Snoop said he was scared to take his grandson to the movies now.

If any man of any identity had said anything in the vicinity of the statement of: “women do not have ‘brain processing power’ to be taken seriously” and are stealing men’s jobs”. That statement alone would be swiftly deemed “misogynistic.” There would be anger and fury everywhere. The entire world over. Men would be seeking refuge in one another’s spaces.  

But good thing it was only said about Black women because that way people can call it a “difference of opinion”  or “political disagreement”. Some women can pretend that their faith, geographic location, or some other made up reason gives them a pass for abandoning Black women as if they don’t habitually do it anyway. 

So no—I’m not surprised. Just disappointed. Once again. All we ever ask is that people leave us to our peace, healing, prayer time, and family time, and I’ll be doggone if we can’t even have that. 

At the very least, I do wish that some of these alleged “feminists” would be clear about which group of women they are committed to, instead of stringing everyone along. Women are the busiest people on earth. Most of us have no time to waste. 

To be sure, when it comes to Black women there will always be silence from the same groups of women who chastise other women for  allegedly “celebrating another school shooting death in America.” Listen to the crickets now that the alleged shooter has been caught. 

Meanwhile school shootings, mass shootings, family annihilations, neighborhood shootings are something  many of the rest of us have been mourning since long Columbine. And we didn’t even need the mating call of racial hatred to do it. 

Important Definitions

Celebration is the outward expression of inward joy, recognition, or reverence.

Reverence means deep respect, honor, and awe toward someone or something.

Silence is not just the lack of words—it is a condition, a choice, or a force that shapes how truth and power move.

Empathy is a gift, not a debt. It flows best and most authentically in spaces where respect, dignity, and humanity are honored.

Coercion: practice of causing another party to act in an involuntary manner by use of threats, intimidation, or force. 

Dictionary.com

1. the act of coercing; use of force or intimidation to obtain compliance.
2. force or the power to use force in gaining compliance, as by a government or police force.