Imagine you’re watching a movie where a sneaky character does something mean to a classmate, like stealing their lunch. But as soon as a teacher walks
Imagine you’re watching a movie where a sneaky character does something mean to a classmate, like stealing their lunch. But as soon as a teacher walks in, the sneaky character starts crying and points at the other kid, saying, “They just tried to hit me!”
That is The Inversion of Reality. It’s like a “Big Flip” where the person doing the hurting acts like they are the one being hurt.
Here is how it works in three simple steps:
1. The Secret Truth
Behind closed doors, the abuser (the person being mean) is the one in charge. They use their power to hurt the victim. In this stage, the truth is clear: one person is being a bully, and the other person is getting hurt.
2. The Big Flip (Inversion)
When other people are around—like friends, family, or teachers—the abuser “flips” the story. They act very sad, scared, or even “super nice,” while they tell everyone that the victim is actually the mean one. They might say things like:
“They are always picking on me.”
“I’m just trying to help, but they are so unstable.”
3. The Confusion
Because the abuser is so good at acting, people on the outside get confused.
They start to believe the “flip” instead of the truth.
The victim feels like they are going invisible because no one believes them.
Why do they do it?
They do it to stay safe from trouble. If everyone thinks the victim is the “bad guy,” then the abuser never has to take responsibility for what they did. It’s a way to “hustle the truth” so they can keep having power over the other person.
The Lesson: Just because someone is the loudest person complaining doesn’t mean they are the one who was hurt. Sometimes, the person staying quiet or looking upset is the one who actually needs help.
Ok, so the 1980s were filled with these types of themes in films. Corny but …effective. I’m pretty sure you can guess why they do not make as many of these type of films anymore.
That is exactly the plot of the 1985 cult classic “The Legend of Billie Jean,” where Pat Benatar’s “Invincible“ serves as the anthem for the struggle we are describing.
In that movie, the “Inversion of Reality” is the entire engine of the story. Here is how it lines up with what we’ve been talking about:
The “Big Flip” in Billie Jean
The Secret Truth: Billie Jean and her brother (Helen Slater and Christian Slater) are the victims. Local bullies trash her brother’s scooter, and when she asks the father (Mr. Pyatt) to pay for the repairs, he tries to sexually assault her. Her brother accidentally shoots him in the shoulder while trying to save her.
The Inversion: Instead of admitting he tried to hurt a young girl, Mr. Pyatt lies to the police and the media. He frames Billie Jean as a “dangerous, drug-crazed outlaw.” He uses his power and money to make himself look like the “poor victim” of a teenage gang.
The Result: The whole state starts hunting Billie Jean. She is forced to cut her hair (LOL…not even a box of hair color. No Kool-Aid, nothing. Kool-Aid was ten cents a pack. See this is why I almost missed it.) ……and go on the run because the abuser’s lie became the public’s truth.
“Fair is Fair” (I genuinely thought this line was corny as hell back then but now, I see it a bit differently.) (The trailers did not do this movie any justice. I missed out. Finally saw it in my mom’s room where the cable was. It was decent)
Billie Jean’s famous catchphrase, “Fair is fair,” was her attempt to break the inversion. She wasn’t trying to be a rebel or a criminal; she was simply demanding that the “Big Flip” be un-flipped so people could see the truth. I was annoyed by the repetition, then you grow up and realize how much you have to keep repeating basic facts to grown adults for 20 years just to get a tiny bit of …..normalcy. I see it now.
The song “Invincible” captures that feeling of a survivor who refuses to let the abuser’s lie define them
“We can’t afford to be innocent / Stand up and face the enemy / It’s a do or die situation / We will be invincible.” (Top hit in the 1980’s and Pat Benatar exemplified rebellion and fighting against “the system”.)
It’s a perfect example of how an abuser uses their “cover” (being a respected businessman like Mr. Pyatt) to scapegoat a victim and make them look like the oppressor.
Here are some affirmations inspired by the “Fair is Fair” energy of The Legend of Billie Jean and the grit of the song “Invincible,” tailored for those navigating the “Big Flip” of inversion.
Reclaiming the Narrative
“Fair is fair. I refuse to accept a narrative that was built to hide someone else’s harm.”
“I am not the villain in a story I didn’t write. I release the weight of their projections.”
“My truth is not up for debate, and I don’t need their permission to know what happened to me.”
“I am the author of my own identity. No smear campaign can rewrite who I am at my core.”
- “I have the heart of a survivor and the soul of a warrior. I am ‘do or die’ for my own peace.”
“Like gold through fire, the truth always survives the heat. I am still here, and I am still me.”
“I don’t need a crowd to believe me for my truth to be real. I am my own most powerful witness.”