This Is Not Just a Relationship. It’s a Campaign of Control.

Photo by Dan Meyers/Unsplash

Some people still think abuse is about losing tempers.
Or that it’s a relationship that just got too intense.
Or two people who need to learn how to communicate better.

But if you’ve ever lived it—
truly lived it—
you know better.

This is not just a relationship.

It’s a campaign.

Of control.
Of fear.
Of isolation.
Of erasing someone’s sense of self—until even their silence feels like survival.

Abuse doesn’t always look like bruises.
Sometimes, it looks like someone slowly dimming their light to avoid conflict.
Answering their phone on the first ring because they’re scared of what happens if they don’t.
Staying home more. Laughing less.
Saying “sorry” for things that aren’t theirs to own.

That’s not drama.
That’s not codependency.
That’s control.

What makes it even harder?
The people around them often miss it.

They say things like:

• “You guys looked so happy.”

• “He just seems protective.”

• “You’re lucky someone loves you that much.”

But what looks like love on the outside can feel like walking on glass every day on the inside.

It’s not always yelling.
It’s not always violence.
Sometimes, it’s the quiet campaign to shrink you down—to make sure you know who holds the power.

To the Survivor who’s reading this:
You’re not imagining it.
You’re not too sensitive.
You’re not overreacting.

You’re waking up.
You’re recognizing it.
And that is brave.

When someone chips away at your spirit,
when they teach you to question your own feelings,
when they isolate you from people who speak life into you—

That’s not love.
That’s not a bad day.
That’s a campaign.

And you deserve to live outside of it.

You deserve to live free.