His Truth Does Not Need a Permission Slip â Even When It Makes People Squirm
This post is dedicated to James Ransone, who died by suicide two weeks after this was written.
James spoke openly about being violated by a tutor in [...]
.png "Child Centering vs Personal Interest Centering: Only One of These Keeps Kids Safe (video)")
Child Centering vs Personal Interest Centering: Only One of These Keeps Kids Safe (video)
What happened to those girls in Loudon County was always preventable. Remember folks yelling: "This never happens." For the sake of th [...]
How What We Don't Know About Suicide is Killing People
According to the CDC: In 2013 (the most recent year for which full data are available), 41,149 suicides were reported, making suicide the [...]
The Lost Secret of Child Sexual Abuse: I Love a Survivor, My Pain Has a Voice Too
ImagineImagine your loved one was a victim of child sexual violence. You wanted to help. You wanted to take action. You wanted family, c [...]
The Benefit of Anger for Survivors: A Fire That Heals
For too long, Survivors have been told to suppress their anger. âBe the bigger person.â âLet it go.â âForgive and move on.â Society is comfortable w [...]
What FGM and âGender-Criticalâ Child Medicalization Have in Common
In the work of protecting children, hard truths often sit at the intersection of culture, medicine, and power. And in that intersection, those of us w [...]
5 Reasons Why the Silence Around Abuse Isn't Golden
They say "silence is golden". No, it isn't, it's tarnished and rusty on the edges. At least when it comes to abuse it is.Allow m [...]
The Unseen Burden: Black Eldest Daughters and the Weight of Expectations
In many Black families, eldest daughters are celebrated as leaders, protectors, and role models. But behind that honor often lies a heavy, unspoken [...]
Only 2% “Owned” Slaves?â The Dangerous Game of Subtracting Context
Weâve all heard it: âOnly 2% of white people "owned" slaves.âItâs a talking point tossed around to downplay history. But hereâs the truth: itâs not th [...]
What's In a Name: A Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse names Her Rapist
Did I tell yâall about that time that they printed a speech I delivered in public in the paper? Well, that isnât even the most interestin [...]
When Older Women Are Told to Give Until It Hurts
The internet will have you believe something very simple and very cruel, and in my view, is rooted in misogyny: If younger people cut you off, it m [...]
We Called It Rape Culture for a Reason. And That Reason Still Exists
There was a time when we named things clearly.
We called it rape culture.
Not to be provocative. Not to shock. Not to divide.
But to survive.
We u [...]
The Real Locker Room Talk: Men Donât Need CheerleadersâThey Need Witnesses
Letâs stop dancing around what everybody can feel but few want to say: Men are not suffering because women wonât let them cry.They are sufferin [...]
Revisting the Silencing of Silenced Women and Girls: R Kelly
 When the groundbreaking documentary Surviving RKelly (produced by Dream Hampton) came out, people were amazed.
Â
How did this go on [...]
The Judds: When Healing Isnât Pretty
When I watched Love Can Build a Bridge on Lifetime, I wasnât expecting the emotions and the new insights.
The documentary told the story of The Jud [...]
The Manipulative Power of Changing Language
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Her: I need a protective order.
Judge: Did he actually say that he would kill you?
Her:Â Well....no but he said,
"That's okay I will take [...]
Keeping Girls Safe in a Dangerous World (ebook) 2025 UPDATE
In a world where girls face unique dangers and challenges, Keeping Girls Safe in a Dangerous World is a guide for parents, caregivers, and [...]
The Faux Fight Against Child Sex Abuse
Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the ban [...]
How We Are Getting Played by Rapists & Abusers
Updated from 7/1/15The Pied PiperWhen I was a kid, there was a "children's story" that scared me to death.The Pied Piper was a story based o [...]
Stay Out of Her Healing, You Werenât There.
This is not about whether you think she was right or wrong.This is not about your definition of accountability.This is not about your fantasy version [...]
Pregnancy, Panic, and the Past: Supporting Survivors Through the Miracle of Birth
*Updated for 2025
When a close relativeâletâs call her Morganâannounced her pregnancy, our entire family was ecstatic.
I wanted to hear ever [...]
![Why âNot a [Insert Person]â Is Dangerous for Survivors](https://wesurviveabuse.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/main-qimg-542d12514cab2ff36b83668c32a48264.jpg "Why âNot a [Insert Person]â Is Dangerous for Survivors")
Why âNot a [Insert Person]â Is Dangerous for Survivors
Letâs tell the truth:Adults have power. Children donât.
Even the most vulnerable adult usually has more access to voice, resources, legal systems, an [...]
How to Get the Truth Around Obstacles of Myths, Lies, & Distraction: Infographics
Let Me Tell ItI once worked as the sexual assault Outreach Advocate for the state of Virginia. Here is what I learned. What one thing [...]
Sexual Violence Against Black Males: No Video, No Witnesses, and It IS Killing Them
updated from original post on 12/15/2015So last night I Twitter watched one of my favorite shows. A true crime show. You c [...]
To the Misguided, Misdirected, Mislead, and Misinformed, about Child Sexual Abuse
Back in 2016 this post was inspired when a very famous celebrity publicly blamed how young girls dress for males in schools being sexually tempt [...]
đŻ Pattern Denial: The Sinister Art of Pretending Not to Know
Some truths are not too complex to understandâthey're just too inconvenient to admit.
Even toddlers can identify patterns. I once babysat a precious [...]
Is Your Child Advocacy Child-Centered or Adult-Centered?
Child advocacy means supporting and promoting the rights and well-being of children. When advocating for children, it's essential to ensure [...]
Inclusion Should Never Cost Girls Their Safety
April is child abuse awareness month.
When politicians twist the language of âinclusionâ to force girls to surrender their safe spaces, they are no [...]
When the Mask Matters More Than the Truth, Survivors Are Asked to Disappear
There is a reason people cling so tightly to labels when harm is exposed.
Often, it is not confusion.
It is fear. Fear of admitting they were mis [...]
The Real Exclusion Happens When We Refuse to Face the Truth: Male on Male Violence
It is not women who are being exclusionary when we protect our spaces.It is not women who are the barrier to real, lasting change.
When people refuse [...]
đ©ž Theyâve Always Watched the Womb: A History of Obsession, Control & Harm w/video featuring Michelle Browder, Mothers of Gynecology
đ©ž Theyâve Always Watched the Womb: A History of Obsession, Control & Harm
From the plantation to the present day, menâparticularly those in power [...]
âđŸ When Policing Women Is Mistaken for Protecting Women
âWhen a woman goes hungry, more than her body suffers â her dignity, her power, her future are all at risk. Food justice is more than feeding; itâs fr [...]
Unveiling the Sneaky Strategies of Child Predators: Protect Your Child with these Expert Insights
elink.io | See Original [...]
How Fame Shields Harm: Why Children Are Ignored Until Adult Comfort Is Threatened
Many entertainers are protected in our culture. They are called âartists.â
They are called âtalented.â
They are called âimportant.â So whe [...]
The Right to Say “NO” is Mine: Youth Edition (video)
Same Game, Different Day: Violating Women's and Children's Rights | WE Survive AbuseIsn't It Refreshing When a Man "Gets It"? | WE Survive AbuseSurviv [...]
Emmett Till: The Sacred & Innocent Canât Coexist with Predators
We are in justified rage mode, and we are not backing down. You are playing with the sacred memory of children now.Â
These quiet shadows are not yo [...]
Women Have Every Right to Feel Safe Even If That Annoys You
Immediately following the height of #MeToo women and girls have been inundated with messages like "be kind". Â
If #MeToo got us talking and [...]
The Faux Fight Against Child Sex Abuse
Last May was one of the happiest days of my entire life.My son graduated from high school. I sat there among the other proud family members as the ban [...]
âThe Forgive and Overlook Habitâ: Why the Crisis of Child Predators Isnât Going Anywhere
The crisis of child predators isnât going anywhere. Unless the adults change our harmful ways and change them right away.
Because the pressure has al [...]
12 Ways Communities & Families Normalize Predators â and Destroy Survivors in the Process
The truth is not quiet. The truth is not polite. The truth is not neutral. And neither are predators.
Too many of us watched it happen in real time.P [...]
Consent Is Not an Afterthought. It Is the First Requirement
from WeSurviveAbuse.com
Letâs make this plain:Consent is not a footnote.It is not a favor.It is not a vibe, a guess, or something you assume after yo [...]
Survivor Q & A: What Do You Mean by “Sacred Castes” in Violence & Abuse? (video)
updated 2025
Below are 10 signs of a âsacred casteââa group, ideology, or identity that becomes exempt from criticism, even when doing harm [...]
6 Smart Tactics to Help Survivors Strengthen Confidence
People who have been abused often struggle with self-doubt. Yeah. You can put up a tough exterior for everyone else. Some days you can even [...]
Why Do Men Kill Women?
âWhen the truth is too loud to ignore, the world calls it discomfort. We call it survival.â
Why do men kill women?
Too often, itâs not because o [...]
You Were Seeking Safety, Not Sex: A Truth for Survivors of Childhood Abuse
When a child is sexually abused, too much of the truth gets twisted by more vocal and crafty adults. And children and those who are now adults strugg [...]
No Gratitude, No Quilt: A Lesson from My Mama (and a Little Fried Chicken)
*Updated for 2025 Several months ago, my mom asked me to pick up some hair accessories like the ones she saw me wearing. Naturally, I did.
B [...]
Predators Be Like: “Don’t Tell Your Parents” (Faithful background)
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Predators are not hard to figure out. If someone tells you not to tell your parents, they mean you no good.
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Predators Be Like: Only I [...]
The Ongoing Tragedy of Abuse of Child Stars in Film, TV, and Music
elink.io | See Original [...]
Because She Sang, We Speak: Honoring Billie Holidayâs Legacy of Truth
If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say that you enjoyed it.- Zora Neale Hurston
Before there were hashtags.Before there were v [...]
Child Abuse: Avoid Confusing ‘Familiar’ with ‘Known’ when Describing Perpetrator-Victim Relationships
I think most adults have at least the first step of the "grooming process" well understood. To review: Grooming begins by building rapp [...]
When Silence is Taught, Suffering is Inherited: How Childhood Conditioning Sets the Stage for Abuse
Some lessons arenât written in books.Some are taught in the hush of a disappointed glance, a side eye when you spoke up, punishment for being a natura [...]
WE Can’t Afford to Repeat the Mistakes of (PIE) Paedophile Information Exchange
We Can't Afford to Fail ...Again elink.io | See Original
[...]
UPDATE: How Good Parents Miss Child Sexual Abuse and 5 Questions to Change That
Update: I published this during the summer months (2015). It spread across quite a few websites and I got a great deal of positive feedback. [...]
Missing Black Girls: Still Invisible
How dare you make laws and policies that make our girls less safe!-Tonya GJ Prince Every single year, thousands of Black girls vanish from our comm [...]
Why Saying âNot This Personâ Endangers Children More Than It Protects Truth
Enough! Enough rushing to protect your favorite men. Isn't that how we got here?
There is a new trend here in the West and I hope it does not catch o [...]
Why We Must Stop Centering Discomfort Over Male-on-Male Sexual Violence
When a male accuses another male of sexual harassment or assault, what do we often hear first? âThe worst part is people are going to call him ga [...]
.png "Why Safeguarding Bathrooms is No Laughing Matter for Women and Girls")
Why Safeguarding Bathrooms is No Laughing Matter for Women and Girls
elink.io | See Original [...]
Telling the Truth Is Not Blame: Responsibility, Survival, and Complicity in a World That Harms Women
âAmerica has the laws and the material resources it takes to insure justice for all its people.
What it lacks is the heart, the humanity.â
~ Shirl [...]
How Some Teachers Are on the Frontlines of Fighting Child Sexual Abuse
Did you know that some victims of child sexual abuse prefer to confide in teachers rather than parents? Even those from "good" loving homes? No one [...]
đ When âBeing Niceâ Becomes Dangerous: Reclaiming Boundaries After Trauma
The Very Idea
For years, people walked all over my boundaries.
And I let them.
Not because I didnât care.Not because I wanted mistreatment.
I l [...]
Why Donât We Talk About Black Men Who Survived Childhood Abuse?
There are stories we rarely let breathe. The stories of Black men who were once Black boys â hurt, silenced, told to âman up,â told t [...]
Safe Father Figures: 5 Powerful Ways to Help Protect Children from Sexual Abuse
In a world where too many children face harm in silence, safe father figuresâbiological, step, chosen, or community-basedâcan be a powerful sh [...]