What Happens When Women Fully Stop Performing Labor For the Male Gaze?
Words That Tried to Tame Women For generations, women have been shamed into labor — emotional, physical, spiritual — through language that sounds o [...]
Don’t Ignore the History and Connection of Accountability Evasion in Violence, Abuse, and Racism (w/ podcast episode)
So we have reached the place where the n-word is actually Black American people's fault. And that is part of the cycle of harm. Evading accountability [...]
When Chaos Is a Weapon: How Some Partners Use Crisis to Control You
And why you’re not “mean” for wanting peace It starts with a bad decision. Maybe a DUI.Maybe losing another job.Maybe a fight with the [...]
When Black Women Say No: The Punishment Is Public
"If I can’t have her love, I’ll go to war against her peace"
Some men don’t just move on when Black women say no.They retaliate.
They don’t just g [...]
Stephanie Lyn: How to Distance Yourself
I like this video because it speaks to a very real danger. Emotionally abusive people are a threat to health and safety and sometimes distance is the [...]
Violence Against Women Always Looks for an Inside Woman
Like most acts of violence against women,invasion of boundaries doesn’t just show up with brute force.It counts on betrayal.It counts on a hand extend [...]
🖤 It Isn’t Discipline. It’s Domination Disguised as a Lesson.
(Inspired by “How Abusers Place Themselves Above Accountability” — WeSurviveAbuse.com)
Racism often hides inside the language of lessons.It calls con [...]
When Belonging Breaks: Surviving in Truth When Cultures Defends Abusers
I get when some groups defend some aspects of abusers. I've slipped (more than once) and done it too. I'm a human. I still have a duty to push bac [...]
You Don’t Find Your People By What They Post—You Find Them By What They Protect
"I don’t want to hear you say, 'Honey, I’m behind you.' Well, move, I don’t want you back there because you could be 200 miles behind. I want you to [...]
People Don’t Fear Your Inner World. They Fear Being Controlled by It.
When I was in college earning my degree in Organizational Management and Development, we were asked to give a presentation about early milestones in o [...]
The Myth of Neutrality: Why Identity Blindness Fails Survivors Every Time
There’s a phrase people love to say when conversations get uncomfortable:
“I don’t see gender, race, sexuality, or identity. I treat everyone the sam [...]
Perpetrator Fragility: When He Fears Exposure More Than Reflection
Perpetrator fragility is a concept used to describe how individuals—most often abusers or those in power—respond with defensiveness, victim-playing, o [...]
✊🏾 When Policing Women Is Mistaken for Protecting Women
“When a woman goes hungry, more than her body suffers — her dignity, her power, her future are all at risk. Food justice is more than feeding; it’s fr [...]
Mahogany: Beyond Fashion, a Lesson in Power and Abuse 💔
Mahogany is often celebrated for its style—but the film also quietly shows obsession, control, and emotional abuse.
But beneath that glossy surface [...]
If He Will Strangle You, He May Kill You
There are few acts more dangerous, more intimate, and more predictive of future lethal violence than this one:Strangulation.
Let’s stop minimizing [...]
When Technology Becomes a Weapon: What You Need to Know About Cyberstalking and Deepfake Abuse
People like to be casual about it, but cyberstalking is a crime. Cyberstalking looks like: Following you from platform to platform, even after [...]
Why Some Voices Are Punished for Asking the Right Questions-Even By Fellow Women
Updated from June 3, 2025
Speaking of a harmed woman's word is never good enough........ We WILL NOT be forgetting this.
We human beings are a fl [...]
What the Olympic Boxing Debate Really Reveals About Gender, Power & Responsibility
updated 2025
You know what truly angers and frustrates me about this Olympic boxing issue?
It’s not just the debate—it’s the pattern.
Whenever th [...]
🧱 You Don’t Have to Build the House to Set the Fire:
The Truth About Harm Within Oppressive Systems
Some people argue:“I didn’t build the system. So I can’t be responsible for the harm it causes.”
Be [...]
Why “I Don’t Care About Potential Harm-Doers” Sounds Empowering But Isn’t
We get it.You’re tired of tiptoeing.You’re tired of warning signs, red flags, and feeling like you have to carry the burden of watching your back all [...]
“Why Are Women Still Told to Have Faith in Men Who ‘Rebrand’ Themselves?”
“If his change requires your suffering to prove it, it isn’t change — it’s another performance.”
— WeSurviveAbuse.com
Somehow, we allowed ourselve [...]
💔 They’ve Been Ignoring Our Pain for Generations. But We Still Feel It.
On yesterday there was a non-subtle outcry on at least one social media application calling for Black people to go to Los Angeles, California and ge [...]
Your Defense of Them Is a Betrayal of Me
Let’s say this out loud—for the ones still doubting themselves.For the ones grieving the loss of community, connection, or even family:
You are not w [...]
Stop Recasting Boundaries as Ignorance
With all my heart and soul I hate when men do this,
Too often, when women say “no”—especially in conversations about safety, space, and [...]
When the Gate Swings Open: The Floodgate Effect and the Harm That Follows
Some harms don’t happen in isolation.
They happen because someone was let in who shouldn’t have been.And then, no one shut the door behind them.
In [...]
🛑 Tokenism Is Not Liberation: Why Hate Groups Tokenize Black Women
Some groups want our rhythm, our language, our beauty—but not our justice.
They say they care about Black women.
They post our photos.Quote our hero [...]
⚡ Trust Yourself — Without Apology
“They may call you hateful. But what they won’t call you is gone — because you trusted yourself.”
Ignore the noise of people who do not know better. [...]
🖤 12 Ways Black Women Are Harmed When Men Weaponize Oppressive Systems
🖤 1. Demanding Grace While Denying Ours
Black women are often expected to extend endless empathy, understanding, and forgiveness—especially to Black [...]
Black Male Survivors of Rape Deserve to Be Seen, Heard, and Healed
Black male rape victims of other males are real.They exist. They’ve always existed.But for too long, they’ve been shamed into silence.Dismissed. Moc [...]
They Just Know: How Abusers Play by the Same Rules
There’s no secret clubhouse.No annual meeting.No formal initiation or online group chat.
And yet—somehow—they just know.
They know what to say.They [...]
RED FLAG:🚩 Quick Love Can Be a Cage
When Fast Turns to Fear: What We’re Not Talking About Enough
They came on strong.Said all the right things.Made you feel seen, heard, adored.And be [...]
Call Him What? When Abusers & Traffickers Demand to Be Named Something Special
✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com
In courtroom after courtroom, from high-profile celebrity trials to quietly buried local cases, a deeply disturbing pattern [...]