🛑 We don’t negotiate safety
⚖️ Some Things Are Black and White
Yes means safety.No means protection.
Clear, certain, unapologetic boundaries are not cruelty.They are care—espec [...]
“Is It Toxic or Is It Abuse?” — When You’re Trying to Name What’s Happening
She sat in her parked car for 32 minutes before going inside.
She wasn't avoiding anyone—he wasn't even home.
She just… didn’t want to walk into her [...]
🚧 9 Signs You’re Dealing with a Stonewaller
And Why That’s Not Your Fault[WeSurviveAbuse.com]
Stonewalling is one of the most soul-draining tactics used in abusive relationships. It’s when so [...]
🚨 Fear-Based Manipulation Isn’t Love—It’s Control Dressed as Concern
Fear-Based ManipulationDefinition: Using hypothetical threats or worst-case scenarios to control or limit a woman’s autonomy.
It rarely sounds like [...]
If the Mind Believes What It Hears Most — What Are We Teaching It About Safety?
There’s a reason children learn the alphabet through songs. There’s a reason faith traditions chant.
There’s a reason we remember “I have a dream. [...]
What Does It Cost to Constantly Prove You Know Your Own Life?
It costs energy—the kind your body needs to rest and repair.
It costs peace—the quiet that allows your nervous system to settle.
It costs trust—in y [...]
When Communities Celebrate Predators: The Cost of Uplifting R. Kelly in Black Spaces
Stop making abuse a softer crime just because the beat is familiar.
Let me just get this sentence out so I can be done:
Must we use every Bl [...]
Why Some Survivors Are Alarmed by the Push to Redefine Womanhood as An Aesthetic
It is harder to ignore now.
Some people noticed it earlier but now it is getting harder to ignore isn't it?
Across cultures, languages, and generati [...]
“Not This Person” Is Old Reputation Management — And We’ve Fought This Before
Domestic violence advocates have been here before.
For decades, advocates fought a very specific lie.Not loudly at first.But relentless [...]
Why Declaring Women’s Right to Privacy and Safety Means Rejecting Male Entitlement
When we declare that women and girls have the right to privacy, dignity, and safety, we are also declaring something deeper: 🚫 What It Means [...]
Which Women Do You Really Stand For? The Question Feminists Keep Dodging (updated)
For those unfamiliar: Most Black women did not call for “unity.” We understood then, as we do now, that not all women are willing to give up [...]
When Words and Actions Don’t Match: Why Women Must Trust What People Do, Not Just What They Say
For years now, a message has echoed across schools, workplaces, and social media campaigns:
Be kind.Be nicer.Be more understanding.Be m [...]
Inclusion Should Never Cost Girls Their Safety
April is child abuse awareness month.
When politicians twist the language of “inclusion” to force girls to surrender their safe spaces, they are no [...]
Some of Us Refuse To Walk Back into Bondage Dressed as Progress
Some folks treat danger like it’s a dare.They treat survival like it’s a thrill.They treat oppression like it’s a rollercoaster ride—they want to hop [...]
When Someone You Love Defends the People Who Harm Children
There are few heartbreaks more jarring than this:Realizing someone you admire is cheering for those who endanger children.
And it cuts deeper when [...]
When Propaganda is Used Against Abuse Survivors
Propaganda isn’t just for politics or war; it’s a powerful tool that gets used to control narratives about abuse survivors, shape public perception, a [...]
“But Is It Abuse?” — The Quiet Ways Harm Hides in Plain Sight
Every day, people ask themselves:"Is this abuse?"
Because sometimes the harm doesn’t leave bruises.It doesn’t scream.It doesn’t break doors or raise [...]
The Manifestation of Emotional Abuse Can Alter Your Life? – Out Loud With Claudia Jordan
“People think it’s easy to just leave a toxic relationship. But what they don’t see is how it starts. Just like Claudia said (on another show)—it [...]
Weaponized Moralism: The Silence That Screams
They call it compassion.But only when it protects male access.
They call it justice.But only when women are asked to surrender boundaries.
They call [...]
Why Some People Fear the Truth About Domination
There’s a strange thing happening in our world today—especially online—where people want to argue about the words we use instead of faci [...]
When Movements Mimic Religious Shunning: Why Silencing Dissent Won’t Build a Just World
Some of today’s loudest movements say they’re about justice, liberation, and community.
But too often, when someone disagrees—or simply asks a ques [...]
The Bird That Runs Scams Better Than Humans (And What It Teaches Us About Manipulation)
To some degree, we all have the capacity to manipulate, but some people make it a lifestyle and take advantage of the vulnerable.
There’s a beautifu [...]
Women Deserve Privacy, Safety, and Respect—Especially in Campus Athletics
Across campuses, colleges have a duty: to protect all students.
That includes the right to privacy, safety, and dignity—especially for young women [...]
“She Wasn’t Told He Killed Before: The Tragic Workplace Murder of Kerri Harris and the Warning Signs We Can’t Ignore”
Women are significantly more likely to be victims of stalking.
Approximately 1 in 3 women have experienced stalking at some point in thei [...]
When Black Women Say No: The Punishment Is Public
"If I can’t have her love, I’ll go to war against her peace"
Some men don’t just move on when Black women say no.They retaliate.
They don’t just g [...]
How Abusers Across Time and Place Keep Saying ‘Yes’ to Harm
from WeSurviveAbuse.com
It’s almost uncanny.Different languages. Different continents.Different centuries. Different tools.
But the outcome?The same [...]
🛑 Start Noticing: Saying No Is Not Hate
You may want to start observing the number of times men declare that women saying no—is hate.Not submitting? Hate.Setting a boundary? Hate.Wal [...]
People Don’t Just “Ignore Red Flags” — They’re Protecting Something
When someone stays silent about abuse, overlooks harm, or rewrites the story to sound softer than it was—it’s easy for outsiders to say:
“Why [...]
Surviving Abuse Daily: Vintage Sexist Ads
updated from June 24, 2022
A Grounding Perspective
Looking back visually can feel startling because images bypass intellectual defenses. They speak [...]
The Myth of Neutrality: Why Identity Blindness Fails Survivors Every Time
There’s a phrase people love to say when conversations get uncomfortable:
“I don’t see gender, race, sexuality, or identity. I treat everyone the sam [...]
⭐ Signs Black Women Describe When They’re Being Treated Poorly During Pregnancy
These stories in the news around Black maternal health always hit home for me. I have publicly shared my pregnancy ordeal and how horrible racism is [...]
Men Have a Duty to Be Safe Around Women and Children
We need to say this more often, and we need to say it without apology: men have a duty to be safe around women and children.
Do not cross bou [...]
We Are Not Meant to Disappear Inside Someone Else’s Reflection
There is a quiet war being waged on selfhood.A thousand little whispers telling women—and especially Black women, Indigenous women, and other [...]
Respect the “No”: Why We Must Use Caution in Entertainer Interviews
When an actor or entertainer says they do not want to engage in certain kinds of scenes—intimate, violent, or otherwise—that boundary deserves respect [...]
When Belonging Breaks: Surviving in Truth When Cultures Defends Abusers
I get when some groups defend some aspects of abusers. I've slipped (more than once) and done it too. I'm a human. I still have a duty to push bac [...]
Aesthetic Gatekeeping: You Are Not Here for Their Approval Ratings
Let’s talk about one of the oldest games in the patriarchy playbook—and baby, it’s still being played in 4K, HD, and every group chat:Aesthetic Gateke [...]
Until This Country Reckons with How It Treats Black People, It Will Never Heal Its Violence
Until this country reckons with how it treats Black people—how its systems treat Black people—how it still treats Black women carrying chronic illness [...]
Why Leaders Who Excuse Abuse Can’t Build Safety—They Recreate Harm
When someone dismisses violence, mocks Survivors, or excuses abuse, they’re not neutral.
They’re signaling the kind of safety they intend to build—on [...]
Being Protective Is Good: Why You Don’t Have to Choose Between Kindness and Boundaries
In today’s world—especially in progressive spaces—many women are made to feel that if they truly care about human rights, they must stay quiet about t [...]
I Don’t Need Graphic Pain to Know We Survive
✍🏽 By Tonya GJ Prince | WeSurviveAbuse.com
There’s a quiet knowing among many Survivors:We don’t need to be gutted open again to prove that we made i [...]
10 Signs You’re Being Dehumanized—Even by People Who Say They Support You
This is a crucial question—because recognizing when you are being dehumanized is often the first step in reclaiming dignity, power, and bounda [...]
They Know Exactly Who They Are
We like to believe—many of us—that if people only knew the truth about someone…
…that they’re abusive.…that they’re a predator.…that they hurt wome [...]
If Your Argument Needs Blackface, It’s Already Weak and Shifty
You can’t force moral concern by disrespecting another group.That contradiction collapses your message.
This use of blackface (actually carrying it o [...]
Your Defense of Them Is a Betrayal of Me
Let’s say this out loud—for the ones still doubting themselves.For the ones grieving the loss of community, connection, or even family:
You are not w [...]
You Never Know Who’s Listening
You don’t know which of the people around you are living in abusive situations.But they see you.They watch you.They hear you.
They are listening—no [...]
She Wasn’t Weak. He Was Dishonest.
We need to talk about the way society punishes women for being manipulated.
She trusted someone.She believed his words.She gave him the benefit of th [...]
Let’s Talk About Social Coercion: When the World Pressures You to Be Who You’re Not
You ever feel like you're being nudged, guilted, or flat-out pushed into saying “yes” when your soul is screaming “no”?That’s not just pressure. That’ [...]
The Unseen Cage: How Systems Use Coercive Control
When the hands that claim to help you are the ones tightening the grip.
Not all abuse comes from partners.Sometimes, it comes from systems—the cour [...]
The Divorce Was Inevitable: We Never Chose This Marriage
No one asked women anything.
People just kept telling women how they "ought to" and "must" feel.-TGJP
This is a very scary time for some women.Bec [...]
Don’t Say You’re in Our Corner—Fight Like It
“What we’re fighting for is not a privilege. It is a right.” – Fannie Lou Hamer
Don’t say you’re in my corner—fight like it.Don’t post slogans and [...]
The “Helper” Mandate is Hurting Us
It whispers to Black people—especially Black women —that we are here to help.To soothe.To teach.To forgive.To make the world softer for others, even w [...]
Why ‘Being Loyal’ Shouldn’t Cost You Your Safety, Dignity, or Peace
One of my all-time favorite jazz tunes is "My Man." “My Man” is, in many ways, a love song about endurance, not just devotion.Billie Holiday, the [...]
They Know What They’re Doing: Why Abusers Target Neurodivergent People—Especially in Love
Let’s talk about something that far too often stays in the shadows:
Abusers know what they’re doing.And many of them actively seek out people they [...]
This Is Why Victims Sue: It’s Not About Greed. It’s About Survival.
They say it’s a “cash grab.”They roll their eyes.They whisper behind hands.They ask: Why didn’t she just go to the police?
But we know better.
We’ve [...]
Red Flags in Relationships: Recognizing Silent Signals of Control
updated from January 12 2025 Here is when I knew.
I was riding in the car with my date. Our first date.
He picked me up.
He brought me a si [...]
Perpetrator Fragility: When He Fears Exposure More Than Reflection
Perpetrator fragility is a concept used to describe how individuals—most often abusers or those in power—respond with defensiveness, victim-playing, o [...]
You Can Be Inclusive Without Abandoning Girls, Women, or Survivors
Inclusion should never come at the cost of someone else’s safety.
But lately, women and Survivors are being told to prove our goodness by staying sil [...]
The Disposability of the “Wrong” Women: A Call to Conscience (w/Affirmations)
There is a silence that wraps itself around certain women like a shroud—thick, suffocating, strategic.
It’s the silence reserved for women who are p [...]
⚠️ Sometimes Male Agitation Is Not Just a “Bad Mood”
It Can Be a Ramp-Up to Violence. Especially Against the Vulnerable. Too often, male agitation is brushed off.He’s “just stressed.”He’s “had a rough [...]
It’s Not the Phrase. It’s the Harm.
Some folks are upset nowabout the phrase:“I don’t owe you.”
Around here, we are retiring the phrase.
But not because people do not like it,
but be [...]
Why Are Women’s Demands for Boundaries and Safe Spaces Being Compared to Segregation?
Too many women—especially monitored, poor, rural, disabled, and older women—do not have easy access to digital spaces. And many who do are walking awa [...]
When Words Are Used to Control You: Everyday Red Flags People Miss
✦ by WeSurviveAbuse.com
Not all control looks like yelling, threats, or bruises.Sometimes, it shows up in the words you're allowed to use—or forbidde [...]
Forced Sterilization Never Ended — It Just Learned How to Hide (women’s present day stories through videos)
The thing about 'female exams' is that we have to make our bodies available to doctors, but we have no idea what they may be doing to our bodies.
&n [...]
10 Reasons Why “Not This Person” Fails Women Every Time
People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction,
and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of
innocence long after th [...]
When Control Becomes Abuse: Recognizing Coercive Control in Relationships
🚩 Concerning Signs of Abuse and Control
How Loss of Autonomy Mirrors the Pain of Imposter Syndrome 🔒 Loss of Autonomy
Every adult has the [...]
🎯 Pattern Denial: The Sinister Art of Pretending Not to Know
Some truths are not too complex to understand—they're just too inconvenient to admit.
Even toddlers can identify patterns. I once babysat a precious [...]
🧱 You Don’t Have to Build the House to Set the Fire:
The Truth About Harm Within Oppressive Systems
Some people argue:“I didn’t build the system. So I can’t be responsible for the harm it causes.”
Be [...]
What Happens When Women Fully Stop Performing Labor For the Male Gaze?
Words That Tried to Tame Women For generations, women have been shamed into labor — emotional, physical, spiritual — through language that sounds o [...]
🛑 You Can’t Build Something Sacred on Disrespect
Let’s speak truth—because Survivors on healthy authentic healing journeys know this better than anyone:
You cannot build healthy relationships with p [...]
Jim Crow and the Erasure of Black Womanhood
Jim Crow and the Erasure of Black Womanhood
In the era of Jim Crow, Black women were denied full personhood. Their bodies were brutalized.
Their cr [...]
🚫 You Can Be in a Movement—and Still Be Submissive
Let’s talk about something that doesn’t get said enough:
Just because you’re in a space that calls itself progressiveor radical, or revol [...]
Retro Report: The Domestic Violence Case That Turned Outrage Into Action
Generation X was not ready for this story but we needed it! Our Boomer parents were not ready either but they most definitely needed it. In fac [...]
Red Flag Alert: Unhinged Game Fans
Man Fatally Shoots Wife And Critically Injures Stepdaughter After Fight Over ‘Monday Night Football’: Sheriff
updated from 4/5/24
You [...]
💣 Beauty as a Battlefield: When We Compete, They Win
Let’s tell the truth:This world wants women to be at war with each other.
Not over justice.Not over safety.But over aesthetics.
It’s no accident t [...]
10 Hard Truths About Men Who Have Been Violent in Relationships
Safety never comes from cruelty. One of the strongest predictors of future abuse is past abuse. Men who have harmed partners before are likely to re [...]