When Respect Becomes Language Control: Who Decides What Women Are Allowed to Say?
So today we are in the state of Washington because their Department of Corrections has interesting policies that impact women.
Language con [...]
🧨 Selective Empathy: Who Gets Compassion—and Who Gets Condemned
⚖️ "But His Parents Divorced..."
As an advocate for victims of violence, abuse, and rape; I’ve sat in enough courtrooms to know this:When a white def [...]
He Harmed Who He Harmed — Not Who He Told the World He Wanted
People keep acting like a man’s sexual identity is a character reference.
They say things like:
“He likes women.”“He has a girlfriend. [...]
Sexual Assaults at American Festivals: Freaknik
In the beginning, there was fun!Freaknik, a spring break party and young Black cultural gathering held in Atlanta, Georgia, was started in the 1980s b [...]
This Is Not Just a Relationship. It’s a Campaign of Control.
Some people still think abuse is about losing tempers.Or that it's a relationship that just got too intense.Or two people who need to learn how to c [...]
Red Flags: Why Am I Feeling Unseen Here? Clues Survivors Notice First.
To be clear: People are not going to always feel seen. This is a huge planet. We are specifically talking about spaces, and conversations around viole [...]
30 Red Flags of Unsafe People: How to Spot Them Early
Some people are simply unsafe. Whether in personal relationships, workplaces, social settings, movements, politics, or online spaces, unsafe individ [...]
⚠️ Trigger Warning: Child Sexual Abuse, Victim-Blaming
Updated for 2025Updated from 2016: I was watching one of my favorite shows—Greenleaf on OWN. If you’ve ever watched it, you know [...]
12 Quiet Ways Self-Abandonment Shows Up
(And How to Come Home to Yourself)
Self-abandonment isn’t always loud. It often slips in quietly, disguised as being “easygoing,” “low maintenance,” [...]
Why Some Survivors Are Alarmed by the Push to Redefine Womanhood as An Aesthetic
It is harder to ignore now.
Some people noticed it earlier but now it is getting harder to ignore isn't it?
Across cultures, languages, and generati [...]
Healing Voices You Gotta Hear: Déjà Lewis-Nwalipenja on Black Girls and Sexual Violence
I want you to hear from Déjà Lewis-Nwalipenja.When she gave this TEDx talk, Déjà was a young Black college student studying political science and [...]
Safety Requires Strategy — Not Just “Being Nice”
updated from August 7 2025
Remember now, plenty of wives and children around the world are very nice to men who think nothing of harming them in an i [...]
The World Loves Powerful Men. Even When They’re Violent.
Let’s tell the truth today.
The world loves powerful men. Even when they’re violent.Especially when they’re violent.
It doesn’t matter if he’s a c [...]
We Can Tell What Team You’re On
If you're not an advocate for giving violent, manipulative, deceptive, abusive males more rights and protections—Then you need to say that.And sound l [...]
.png "Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 2")
Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 2
Original post 9/23/15 7. Every choice that you ever made (sexually) is scrutinized. They have questions.
Q: How many i [...]
10 Ways Violence Against Black People Is Dehumanized, Dismissed, and Minimized
“It is a peculiar cruelty to demand extraordinary proof from
those who have endured ordinary injustice.”
My pain does not require cross-examination [...]
Don’t Look Away: How Polite Fiction Becomes a Predator’s Shield
There is language that has been troubling my soul.As a Womanist historian, I know that misinformation is not just an error; it is a weapon use [...]
Humiliation Is an Abuse Tactic: When Someone Keeps Trying to Make You Feel Small
Some people try to control women by frightening us.Others discover they can control a room by humiliating us.Humiliation can look like “joking [...]
Missing Black Girls: Still Invisible
How dare you make laws and policies that make our girls less safe!-Tonya GJ PrinceEvery single year, thousands of Black girls vanish from our comm [...]
They Can’t Always Find the Right Words. But They Still Deserve to Be Heard.
Sometimes Survivors speak in whispers.Sometimes in long pauses, in shaking hands, in misplaced laughter.Sometimes… not at all.
But let me tell you so [...]
Twice as Good Doesn’t Stop at the Boardroom
Black Women Must Be Twice as Vigilant About Safety—Because We Are Rarely Given the Benefit of the DoubtWe’ve heard it since childhood:“You’ve got [...]
If the Harm Is Precise, Our Words Must Be Precise
I see you. You see me. We see one another.
There are groups who are targeted because of who they are — yet the moment they try to name that truth, pe [...]
Coercion in Disguise: When Love Asks You to Lie
When someone pressures a woman to lie, to go against her beliefs, her conscience, her values, her faith, or her integrity—that is not love. That is [...]
College Women Need Layered Support: Never Make One Institution Your Entire Safety Plan
Having worked directly with colleges and universities as statewide coalitions serving domestic and sexual violence victims I can say this......If [...]
The Brochure Says “We Take Your Safety Seriously.” But What Happens When a Survivor Actually Reports?
Institutions know how to write beautiful promises.“We take all reports seriously.”“Your safety is our priority.”“We are committed to a saf [...]
When Chaos Is a Weapon: How Some Partners Use Crisis to Control You
And why you’re not “mean” for wanting peaceIt starts with a bad decision.Maybe a DUI.Maybe losing another job.Maybe a fight with the [...]
What Does It Really Mean To Be Socialized As a Woman?
To be socialized as a woman means to be trained — subtly and overtly — in what the world expects from those born female. It’s a lifetime of unspoken l [...]
Her VOICE is Terrifying But Not His Violence?
Some men (and women) don’t define harm as what they’ve done.They define harm as a woman’s refusal to keep quiet about it.
In this upside-down worldvi [...]
12 Things Women Have Always Been Told Don’t Matter—But Actually Matter Deeply
We talk about domestic and sexual violence with so much more ease now-not enough but we are not who we used to be- it is easy to forget the road that [...]
Why Does Society Make it Difficult for Survivors of Rape & Abuse to Come Forward? Part 1
I watched "Cosby: The Women Speak."
Actually, I recorded it.
This way, if I was triggered, I could watch it another time [...]
Things to Understand About the LSU Sexual Assault Case, and the Young Black Woman at the Center of It
There is a young Black woman at the center of the LSU sexual-assault story whose name is Kendall Francis. Before she became a viral video, a headline, [...]